How to answer?

[stealth2]

There's more in the post hx

Which (as I know you know) is why we request posters keep things together.

 

[Winsome]

Well - ARE there communication issues? What are they? How are they manifested?

She has alleged there are issues regarding medical and educational decisions. On my side, I can only guess. Most of the stuff I know is because of her covertness and an intent to hide things from me regarding issues which affect the children.

Did you agree to these activities? Did you know they would take place on your time?

I am fine as long as the children are happy attending these. I actually take them to these when they happen during my time as long as it doesn't conflict with court ordered therapy. Ex has put them in so many activities now that it is causing them stress and they are not able to focus on school that much.

Likely to adjust CS should she be awarded sole custody. Or she is under the impression that your income has changed significantly?

There is no change in my employment.

 

[not2cleverRed]

She has alleged there are issues regarding medical and educational decisions. On my side, I can only guess. Most of the stuff I know is because of her covertness and an intent to hide things from me regarding issues which affect the children.


I am fine as long as the children are happy attending these. I actually take them to these when they happen during my time as long as it doesn't conflict with court ordered therapy. Ex has put them in so many activities now that it is causing them stress and they are not able to focus on school that much.


There is no change in my employment.

Then my advise remains: submit a truthful response to your lawyer. If the information has not substantially changed since the last court order, the you can just state that to your lawyer. If the activities in question during your time conflict with court ordered therapy, then state that fact. After all, they're court orders not court suggestions.

Based on that, your lawyer will determine what is the best way to respond on your behalf.

 

[AlmostThere]

Since your ex is concerned about communication issues, and the nature of the communications about disagreements, you should ask that all communications occur in writing. You could possibly use OurFamilyWizard or a similar application.

FWIW - one of the best post-divorce communication decisions I made was to tell my ex that the only schedule changes I'd accept were sent by calendar invite. And if it was important, I sent a message through email or google chat, which is stored in the cloud and can be searched. Once both parties know that all conversations are being monitored, everyone will find a way to behave more appropriately.

 

[Winsome]

FWIW - one of the best post-divorce communication decisions I made was to tell my ex that the only schedule changes I'd accept were sent by calendar invite. And if it was important, I sent a message through email or google chat, which is stored in the cloud and can be searched. Once both parties know that all conversations are being monitored, everyone will find a way to behave more appropriately.

Do you guys not talk to each other at all, even about critical issues surrounding the children?

 

[Zigner]

Do you guys not talk to each other at all, even about critical issues surrounding the children?

Your question shows that you aren't understanding what you are being told. Some people simply are unable to coparent. Using some method of communicating that is recorded and traceable tends to keep people on their best (or, at least better) behavior. Of course if little Johnny falls seriously ill or is involved in some sort of serious accident, a phone call can be made, but deciding on the dates for a routine doctor's appointment...you'd better believe that would go through some sort of method that allows recordation and monitoring.

 

[stealth2]

Do you guys not talk to each other at all, even about critical issues surrounding the children?

My ex and I spoke -maybe - a handful of times "in person" (i.e. by phone) in the 13 years between divorce and the age of majority of our youngest.

 

[AlmostThere]

Do you guys not talk to each other at all, even about critical issues surrounding the children?

Unless it is an emergency where I cannot text or email, ie, I am en route to the ER with our mutual child, I do not pick up the phone and call my ex. Actually, despite many ER runs with that child, I have only had to call him once en route. Every other time he has been informed via messaging. We have a chronically ill child and have exchanged nearly daily updates and discussed parenting decisions for over a decade via messaging and email.