Custody

[irlchestnut]

I have been raising my kids for 90% of the time for the past year, I have to coax the mother into seeing them, yet she is somehow under the impression that she could “take me to court for child support” at the drop of a hat. While trying to get her to visit her kids she often threatens to “never let me see the kids again” which I honestly think is a little backwards because she only threatens me with that when I’m trying to convince her to actually see her children. My main concern is that I live in a one bedroom apartment currently with my fiancé and 3 kids. We are in the process of finding a bigger place, but I’m afraid that this will be my downfall when filing for custody. But to bed fair, their mother is currently couch surfing and not putting in any effort to find a place to live. I am just tired of this woman’s threats when I am the one doing everything in my power to better these kids lives and she’s just using them as pawns to hurt me.

 

[Just Blue]

I have been raising my kids for 90% of the time for the past year, I have to coax the mother into seeing them, yet she is somehow under the impression that she could “take me to court for child support” at the drop of a hat. While trying to get her to visit her kids she often threatens to “never let me see the kids again” which I honestly think is a little backwards because she only threatens me with that when I’m trying to convince her to actually see her children. My main concern is that I live in a one bedroom apartment currently with my fiancé and 3 kids. We are in the process of finding a bigger place, but I’m afraid that this will be my downfall when filing for custody. But to bed fair, their mother is currently couch surfing and not putting in any effort to find a place to live. I am just tired of this woman’s threats when I am the one doing everything in my power to better these kids lives and she’s just using them as pawns to hurt me.

What state? How old are the children? Is there a custody order? If so, what does it state? What is your question(s), because you didn't actually ask one/any.

 

[irlchestnut]

The two that I have with her are 3 and 1. The state is Ohio and I think in Ohio the mother automatically gets full custody if you’re not married, so I technically have zero rights if what people have told me is true

 

[irlchestnut]

The two that I have with her are 3 and 1. The state is Ohio and I think in Ohio the mother automatically gets full custody if you’re not married, so I technically have zero rights if what people have told me is true

My question is will my current living situation hurt my chances of being granted custody

 

[Just Blue]

The two that I have with her are 3 and 1. The state is Ohio and I think in Ohio the mother automatically gets full custody if you’re not married, so I technically have zero rights if what people have told me is true

Did you sign the AOP when the children were born and there are no court orders at all?

I'm tagging @Ohiogal who is a Attorney/Guardian Ad Litem in Ohio, so she can advise you. She likely won't post till sometime tomorrow.

 

[Just Blue]

My question is will my current living situation hurt my chances of being granted custody

Probable not.

 

[irlchestnut]

Did you sign the AOP when the children were born and there are no court orders at all?

I'm tagging @Ohiogal who is a Attorney/Guardian Ad Litem in Ohio, so she can advise you. She likely won't post till sometime tomorrow.

 

[irlchestnut]

I did sign an AOP and from what I’d assume that would give me some rights to them, but there are so many people around that have misguided pseudo law degrees I haven’t really known what to believe. That why I came here, and thank you for responding this late at night

 

[Just Blue]

I did sign an AOP and from what I’d assume that would give me some rights to them, but there are so many people around that have misguided pseudo law degrees I haven’t really known what to believe. That why I came here, and thank you for responding this late at night

OhioGAL is a site vetted attorney...and she is very good at her job. Please try to answer the questions asked...you still didn't clarify for me if there is any court orders.

I'm going to back off this thread and leave it for OhioGal to assist you.

 

[irlchestnut]

OhioGAL is a site vetted attorney...and she is very good at her job. Please try to answer the questions asked...you still didn't clarify for me if there is any court orders.

I'm going to back off this thread and leave it for OhioGal to assist you.

Sorry, there are currently no court orders, we haven’t been to court over anything because I have no idea what my rights are and I’m afraid that she’d be able to keep the kids away from me

 

[Ohiogal]

I have been raising my kids for 90% of the time for the past year, I have to coax the mother into seeing them, yet she is somehow under the impression that she could “take me to court for child support” at the drop of a hat. While trying to get her to visit her kids she often threatens to “never let me see the kids again” which I honestly think is a little backwards because she only threatens me with that when I’m trying to convince her to actually see her children. My main concern is that I live in a one bedroom apartment currently with my fiancé and 3 kids. We are in the process of finding a bigger place, but I’m afraid that this will be my downfall when filing for custody. But to bed fair, their mother is currently couch surfing and not putting in any effort to find a place to live. I am just tired of this woman’s threats when I am the one doing everything in my power to better these kids lives and she’s just using them as pawns to hurt me.

How old are the three children? Are they all the same gender? In what county are you located? In what county is Mother? Same or different?

Signing the AOP at birth makes it a final determination of paternity after 60 days. The issue is you do not have custody UNTIL custody is determined for you by a court. Why are you trying to get her to see the children? How long have you and mother been separated? Do either you or mother have a drug history? Do either you or mom have a recent criminal history? If yes to either, then what drugs and/or what convictions?

Do either you or mom work? Do either of you have physical or mental disorders?

 

[zddoodah]

she is somehow under the impression that she could “take me to court for child support” at the drop of a hat.

Well...she likely wouldn't succeed, but she certainly could "take [you] to court."

I’m afraid that this will be my downfall when filing for custody.

I think in Ohio the mother automatically gets full custody if you’re not married, so I technically have zero rights if what people have told me is true

In every state, when a child is born to an unmarried woman, no man has enforceable parental rights until and unless paternity is established and the court issues an order allocating custodial rights between the parents.

I did sign an AOP

Did the mother also sign it?

My question is will my current living situation hurt my chances of being granted custody

Probably not (especially given the mother's current living situation), but I strongly suggest you confer with a local attorney about the situation and then seek to obtain appropriate custody, visitation and support orders. Otherwise, there is at least a chance that the mother could enlist the assistance of law enforcement to have the kids removed from your custody.

 

[irlchestnut]

We have been separated for a year, the two that I have with her are 1 and 3, and my fiancé has a 1 year old, 2 boys and a girl. Neither of us have any drug or criminal records, I’ve tried to get her to see the kids because she’ll make promises to see them and then at the last second has an excuse to not come, I would have no problem with her never seeing them but they miss her and don’t understand why their mother is barely ever around. We are both located in Washington county, we both signed AOP, I have no disabilities, I’ve questioned whether or not she has any mental disorders because she tends to believe that she’s done nothing wrong and and seems to be in a different reality all together. All in all I have just been trying to keep the peace and get along for the kids but it’s becoming increasingly harder to do so

 

[Ohiogal]

Well...she likely wouldn't succeed, but she certainly could "take [you] to court."





In every state, when a child is born to an unmarried woman, no man has enforceable parental rights until and unless paternity is established and the court issues an order allocating custodial rights between the parents.



Did the mother also sign it?



Probably not (especially given the mother's current living situation), but I strongly suggest you confer with a local attorney about the situation and then seek to obtain appropriate custody, visitation and support orders. Otherwise, there is at least a chance that the mother could enlist the assistance of law enforcement to have the kids removed from your custody.

Actually Mother could go for an administrative order of child support. And unless dad has a court order showing otherwise, she would get it because she is the only custodian. IN Ohio both parents have to sign the AOP for dad to be on the birth certificate.
I will say that this situation could be considered inappropriate.
And mother cannot get law enforcement help in retrieving the children because it is considered a civil matter.

I am a local attorney. I practice in Ohio THIS TYPE OF LAW. I need him to answer my questions.

 

[Ohiogal]

We have been separated for a year, the two that I have with her are 1 and 3, and my fiancé has a 1 year old, 2 boys and a girl. Neither of us have any drug or criminal records, I’ve tried to get her to see the kids because she’ll make promises to see them and then at the last second has an excuse to not come, I would have no problem with her never seeing them but they miss her and don’t understand why their mother is barely ever around. We are both located in Washington county, we both signed AOP, I have no disabilities, I’ve questioned whether or not she has any mental disorders because she tends to believe that she’s done nothing wrong and and seems to be in a different reality all together. All in all I have just been trying to keep the peace and get along for the kids but it’s becoming increasingly harder to do so

At those ages, the children are all in cribs basically and that would not matter for them to share a room. Don't force her to see the children. File in Washington County Juvenile Court a motion to establish parentage, a motion for allocation of parental rights, an affidavit of income and expenses, an affidavit of parenting, a child support application, and a health insurance affidavit. Ask for temporary orders that name you the residential parent and legal custodian. Those forms are available on the supreme court of ohio website and mandated by the Ohio Supreme Court statewide in custody cases or you can call the clerk: Clerk Help by Case Type | Washington County, OH - Official Website (washingtongov.org)

On that website you will also find the standard order of visitation for Washington County. You will have to have Mother served.