FreeAtLast2021
Member
California
Good Evening and Hi!
Old poster here. So I've been through the paces before.
I'm going to work backwards here. I'll answer any questions you might have and answer to the best that I can.
I had to file a restraining order on the husband this week. We have two children together within the marriage. The temp restraining order is good until May 25th and there is a mediation hearing is May 18th.
Basically , I was and am scared to death of filing for divorce. My husband has always been emotionally abusive to me. But now, he's on the kids. He hasn't spoken to his 13 year or myself in 7-8 weeks. We are all in the house. We all live here. I've been on his silent treatment for years at a time before I got used to it. His 14 yr old, he will speak when spoken to. Buys toys and presents for the 14 year old. Even took him to the movie twice. Still not a word to the 13 year old. The 14 year old even tried to get his dad to acknowledge his sibling. Dad refused.
My 13 year asked me last week if we could go. Just take both of them and go. Just leave dad behind. Ok. I'm ready to go.
However, Tuesday night....the husband turned off internet access to all the devices including the TV's in the house except the 14yr old's phone. This is what he does to engage in a fight. The kids and I spend every day all day together. We watch shows together while he's festering in the master bedroom. We laugh. Have a good time. Without him. He did this to me our entire marriage. Cut me off from the outside. To force me with nothing. I knew it was coming. So we left that night.
now, I understand how overdramatic that sounds. And it doesn't sound like a need to run into the night and file a restraining order.
But....Nov 2021, I caught my husband blocking our 13 year's face with his arm when being kissed goodnight. I wouldn't let that go. The next 48 hours was him under the influence of something besides alcohol. I thought he was having a stroke. I called 911. Firefighters came to assess him. Firefighter pulled me aside and said in his opinion, my husband was fine and attention seeking. They helped me get him into the car so I could take him to a clinic. The Clinic doctor looked at his eyes and announced narcotics. Nothing to do but wait it out. Called 911 again when he tried to drive off. Whatever he took, he still had access to it. Then he got into his verbal abuse phase and I sat there waiting for him to sober up. He started swallowing anything he could find. I called 911 for a suicide attempt. What he doesn't know is, I saw him spit out the pills and tuck them under the pillow. I knew it was manipulative in that instant.
They held him for the three required days. He confessed to meth use, alcohol abuse, various women throughout our marriage. He was fired twice. For being drunk. He said he wanted to give us another try. That this was a new beginning.
This isn't the first time he's deviated from the focus at hand. Which was his abuse of the kids. He makes it all about him.
The first time I had to call the cops was over ten years ago for pushing me. It was over the kids then too.
He refuses to believe me when his behavior is unacceptable. He dared me to call CPS, so I did.
Social Services has a case open.
For my 13 year old there is another issue. While born female, he presents as male. My husband is homophobic and transphobic. My 13 year old is realizing this despite "coming out" he can tell dad's stance.
My 14 year old is autistic. He understands what is going on, and knows something is wrong with his dad. He doesn't know why his dad is so cruel. He doesn't want his dad rough housing with him or poking his butt. I had a fight with the husband about this years ago. Is it over the clothes? Yes, but stop it. It's called grooming. Apparently he's doing it. Social Services are involved for that.
I'm in a panic about. I just learned that the man I married raped a "friend" in high school. A mentally diminished male "friend". He brought his victim into our home.
I need to protect my children. This is a homophobic closeted gay man. And if he finds out that I found out....I'm terrified what he would do to the kids.
Good Evening and Hi!
Old poster here. So I've been through the paces before.
I'm going to work backwards here. I'll answer any questions you might have and answer to the best that I can.
I had to file a restraining order on the husband this week. We have two children together within the marriage. The temp restraining order is good until May 25th and there is a mediation hearing is May 18th.
Basically , I was and am scared to death of filing for divorce. My husband has always been emotionally abusive to me. But now, he's on the kids. He hasn't spoken to his 13 year or myself in 7-8 weeks. We are all in the house. We all live here. I've been on his silent treatment for years at a time before I got used to it. His 14 yr old, he will speak when spoken to. Buys toys and presents for the 14 year old. Even took him to the movie twice. Still not a word to the 13 year old. The 14 year old even tried to get his dad to acknowledge his sibling. Dad refused.
My 13 year asked me last week if we could go. Just take both of them and go. Just leave dad behind. Ok. I'm ready to go.
However, Tuesday night....the husband turned off internet access to all the devices including the TV's in the house except the 14yr old's phone. This is what he does to engage in a fight. The kids and I spend every day all day together. We watch shows together while he's festering in the master bedroom. We laugh. Have a good time. Without him. He did this to me our entire marriage. Cut me off from the outside. To force me with nothing. I knew it was coming. So we left that night.
now, I understand how overdramatic that sounds. And it doesn't sound like a need to run into the night and file a restraining order.
But....Nov 2021, I caught my husband blocking our 13 year's face with his arm when being kissed goodnight. I wouldn't let that go. The next 48 hours was him under the influence of something besides alcohol. I thought he was having a stroke. I called 911. Firefighters came to assess him. Firefighter pulled me aside and said in his opinion, my husband was fine and attention seeking. They helped me get him into the car so I could take him to a clinic. The Clinic doctor looked at his eyes and announced narcotics. Nothing to do but wait it out. Called 911 again when he tried to drive off. Whatever he took, he still had access to it. Then he got into his verbal abuse phase and I sat there waiting for him to sober up. He started swallowing anything he could find. I called 911 for a suicide attempt. What he doesn't know is, I saw him spit out the pills and tuck them under the pillow. I knew it was manipulative in that instant.
They held him for the three required days. He confessed to meth use, alcohol abuse, various women throughout our marriage. He was fired twice. For being drunk. He said he wanted to give us another try. That this was a new beginning.
This isn't the first time he's deviated from the focus at hand. Which was his abuse of the kids. He makes it all about him.
The first time I had to call the cops was over ten years ago for pushing me. It was over the kids then too.
He refuses to believe me when his behavior is unacceptable. He dared me to call CPS, so I did.
Social Services has a case open.
For my 13 year old there is another issue. While born female, he presents as male. My husband is homophobic and transphobic. My 13 year old is realizing this despite "coming out" he can tell dad's stance.
My 14 year old is autistic. He understands what is going on, and knows something is wrong with his dad. He doesn't know why his dad is so cruel. He doesn't want his dad rough housing with him or poking his butt. I had a fight with the husband about this years ago. Is it over the clothes? Yes, but stop it. It's called grooming. Apparently he's doing it. Social Services are involved for that.
I'm in a panic about. I just learned that the man I married raped a "friend" in high school. A mentally diminished male "friend". He brought his victim into our home.
I need to protect my children. This is a homophobic closeted gay man. And if he finds out that I found out....I'm terrified what he would do to the kids.
