Los Angeles county- California

[stealth2]

Yo, @jammyson22 - your post was reported because this site does not permit solicitation. Plus, OP isn't in TX.

 

[Zigner]

I really don't have as much to offer as I would like. The court has resources for unrepresented people in family court, but I really think you are going to want an attorney to help you get this right.

 

[LdiJ]

I really don't have as much to offer as I would like. The court has resources for unrepresented people in family court, but I really think you are going to want an attorney to help you get this right.

I agree, but I think that the case is going to be a little simpler than one might think. He has primary custody based on status quo at this point. It should be fairly easy to get a judge to make that official, particularly since it seems that the child would be in favor of that as well. Dad doesn't really NEED to go into the whole potential unsuitability of the mom's living situation and instability since he has status quo on his side. Unless, of course, dad also wants to try to limit mom's parenting time even more than it already is.

 

[Zigner]

I agree, but I think that the case is going to be a little simpler than one might think. He has primary custody based on status quo at this point. It should be fairly easy to get a judge to make that official, particularly since it seems that the child would be in favor of that as well. Dad doesn't really NEED to go into the whole potential unsuitability of the mom's living situation and instability since he has status quo on his side. Unless, of course, dad also wants to try to limit mom's parenting time even more than it already is.

Dad is seeking sole legal custody, and even with the things stated above, I don't see that as an option. The OP needs to talk to an attorney.

Of course, if mom is agreeable to it, then it may be simple, but an attorney is still advisable...even if only for guidance.

 

[LdiJ]

Dad is seeking sole legal custody, and even with the things stated above, I don't see that as an option. The OP needs to talk to an attorney.

Of course, if mom is agreeable to it, then it may be simple, but an attorney is still advisable...even if only for guidance.

He would like sole legal custody, but his main concern seems to be keeping the child primarily with him. If that is the case, primary custody based on status quo would certainly accomplish that.

I wasn't saying that an attorney isn't advisable, only that he may not need to go the whole unsuitability/unfitness route to keep the child primarily with him.

 

[Adamp86]

Morning, to you all.
I would like to do all the work until it comes to the point where I can no longer do it on my own and I would have no other option but to seek legal representation.

@Zigner you mentioned the court has resources for parents who are unrepresented. Would you know if the parent seeking help only qualifies based his household income? I believe in the courts eyes that I make too much for assistance.

@LdiJ I would definitely like to limit the parenting time with mom. I believe if I limit the time with mom and enroll him into sports that could be a positive in his life and for this situation. Also allowing him to get a weekend job or after school job, it’ll teach him responsibility, how to manage his time, set priorities, and the value of a dollar.

 

[Adamp86]

He would like sole legal custody, but his main concern seems to be keeping the child primarily with him. If that is the case, primary custody based on status quo would certainly accomplish that.

I wasn't saying that an attorney isn't advisable, only that he may not need to go the whole unsuitability/unfitness route to keep the child primarily with him.

The more time he spends with mom the more negative environment he is around. When he’s with me he’s straight, no non sense. I’m strict but I’m fair. When he’s around mom he’s allowed to do as he pleases, he’s allowed to talk as if he’s an adult, he’s allowed to disrespect his mother and grandparents so on and so on.

 

[LdiJ]

The more time he spends with mom the more negative environment he is around. When he’s with me he’s straight, no non sense. I’m strict but I’m fair. When he’s around mom he’s allowed to do as he pleases, he’s allowed to talk as if he’s an adult, he’s allowed to disrespect his mother and grandparents so on and so on.

If you are hoping to keep him away from mom entirely, I think that you are destined to fail. You are almost guaranteed to be able to keep him primarily with you due to status quo. Do discuss the whole thing with an attorney. If you overreach at this point, it could backfire.

 

[Adamp86]

I guess what I’m seeking is right now this moment the way the situation is, with the custody order already in place and new status quo what do I need to file to tackle the custody order so he can’t go back with mom. Would I need to file exparte? Would I have to file another RFO? What’s my next best step..

 

[LdiJ]

I guess what I’m seeking is right now this moment the way the situation is, with the custody order already in place and new status quo what do I need to file to tackle the custody order so he can’t go back with mom. Would I need to file exparte? Would I have to file another RFO? What’s my next best step..

Your best step would be to file for a modification of custody based on status quo.

 

[Adamp86]

If you are hoping to keep him away from mom entirely, I think that you are destined to fail. You are almost guaranteed to be able to keep him primarily with you due to status quo. Do discuss the whole thing with an attorney. If you overreach at this point, it could backfire.

No I don’t want to keep him from her, he needs his mother just as much as he needs his father. BUT she needs to have a positive role in his life not a negative one. He’s at that age where she’s trying to be his friend and not his parent.

 

[LdiJ]

No I don’t want to keep him from her, he needs his mother just as much as he needs his father. BUT she needs to have a positive role in his life not a negative one. He’s at that age where she’s trying to be his friend and not his parent.

You cannot force someone to adopt the same style of parenting as you have adopted. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. If you go into court with the attitude that she needs to parent the same way you parent, you will do yourself more harm than good.

What you want and need right now is to pin things down so that she cannot take him from your primary care.

 

[stealth2]

Just some thoughts... Perhaps, rather than sole legal custody, you request that yours is the prevailing opinion in the event of a disagreement.

Anecdotally, I found that, since kids will often feel the need to "defend" one parent when/if bad-mouthing occurs, reinforcing that it is not their job to do so, and the most they need to say is (to Mom) "that's between you and Dad" and (to others) "that's between Mom & Dad." and walking away to other activities. My kids quickly learned to distance themselves by reading, putting on headphones, etc.

Additionally, while those troublesome environments and behaviors can be attractive, modeling appropriate behaviors/lifestyles are much more powerful. I'm not sure what you mean by your son thinking he can talk like an adult. If it's - as I suspect - using foul language, expletives, etc? Take the power out of those words. Let him use them (at "appropriate" times/places(*)) and he will eventually get bored of them.

(*) My two were allowed to "use language" at home and with their friends. They were asked to avoid using such language in school, at their Dad's (because he *would* use it against me), at their grandparents' (an age/respect thing). I think they tried once at my parents'... They got "the look" from me and then the pleasure of having to write an essay together about why it's disrespectful to say the 'f-' or 's-' word at Grandma/Grandpa's. The novelty wore off w/o the thrill of a reaction from Mom. I cuss more than they do at this point.

 

[zddoodah]

I want to know what’s the best option to gain, Sole physical custody and legal custody because I believe that’s what’s in the best interest for my child

There's only one option. You file a motion to modify the existing custody arrangement and convince the judge that you're right. Best to hire an attorney since divesting a parent of all custodial rights is an uncommon result.