Our family wizard

[not2cleverRed]

@not2cleverRed Long time ago you told me to agree on the parenting plan because it seemed to you like my STBX was not reasonable and will not agree to any plan not matter what, and that's exactly what happened. I agreed to their version of a parenting plan and after agreeing, then backed out of it.

There was another agreement on the table but instead of any positive news, I got a deposition order. They also send a deposition order to a close friend of mine. What a waste of time and money.
Don't even know why she sent a deposition to him.....


Every time I think it's getting close to over, she opens a new front. I am just tired and I want to get out but the fun continues.
Thank You guys you have been very helpful

High conflict divorces are long and tiresome.

You need only one disagreeable party for it to d-r-a-g out.

Try to be the more reasonable one, without being a doormat. It is reasonable to say that you would be willing to agree to the GAL suggested parenting plan, and that you are unwilling to cede substantially more parenting time.

If you stay calm, and try to be reasonable, you will look more credible. Judges are human.

About OFW: my understanding is that this is to help document parental interactions. Or at least to document your attempts at parental communications.

 

[Lookforward]

@zddoodah true i always follow her advice

Having said that I have got some great valuable advice free of charge from this board.

 

[Lookforward]

High conflict divorces are long and tiresome.

You need only one disagreeable party for it to d-r-a-g out.

Try to be the more reasonable one, without being a doormat. It is reasonable to say that you would be willing to agree to the GAL suggested parenting plan, and that you are unwilling to cede substantially more parenting time.

If you stay calm, and try to be reasonable, you will look more credible. Judges are human.

About OFW: my understanding is that this is to help document parental interactions. Or at least to document your attempts at parental communications.

@Ohiogal just wanted to pick your brain on a new issue.
Twice now mom has come to a parenting agreement she denied the first one and I am waiting for a new PAJ which i was supposed to receive today but didn't. Now there is a new drama folding. last week mom said that her teacher was concerned about my daughter's behavior and that mom wanted to get her tested for ADHD which i thought was ok but now i am wondering if mom is doing it for extra time? If my daughter has symptoms of ADHD does that mean that i can end up being an EOW parent?

Do you think something like this will fly this late in the court? I should add that I am the one who helps the kids out with their homework and classwork reading assignments etc. Mom has never been involved in any homework in the past 3 years?

Just wondering if anyone else wants to chime in please do so.
Thanks

 

[stealth2]

@Ohiogal just wanted to pick your brain on a new issue.
Twice now mom has come to a parenting agreement she denied the first one and I am waiting for a new PAJ which i was supposed to receive today but didn't. Now there is a new drama folding. last week mom said that her teacher was concerned about my daughter's behavior and that mom wanted to get her tested for ADHD which i thought was ok but now i am wondering if mom is doing it for extra time? If my daughter has symptoms of ADHD does that mean that i can end up being an EOW parent?

Do you think something like this will fly this late in the court? I should add that I am the one who helps the kids out with their homework and classwork reading assignments etc. Mom has never been involved in any homework in the past 3 years?

Just wondering if anyone else wants to chime in please do so.
Thanks

Have you contacted the teacher yourself? If not - why not? That should be your first step, and if the teacher truly is concerned and has suggested testing - your child's well-being should trump any considerations wrt your court issues. Because I can almost guarantee that if you refuse against the teacher's suggestion AND Mom's willingness - that will look poorly on you.

 

[Ohiogal]

@Ohiogal just wanted to pick your brain on a new issue.
Twice now mom has come to a parenting agreement she denied the first one and I am waiting for a new PAJ which i was supposed to receive today but didn't. Now there is a new drama folding. last week mom said that her teacher was concerned about my daughter's behavior and that mom wanted to get her tested for ADHD which i thought was ok but now i am wondering if mom is doing it for extra time? If my daughter has symptoms of ADHD does that mean that i can end up being an EOW parent?

Do you think something like this will fly this late in the court? I should add that I am the one who helps the kids out with their homework and classwork reading assignments etc. Mom has never been involved in any homework in the past 3 years?

Just wondering if anyone else wants to chime in please do so.
Thanks

What Stealth said. Did you talk to the teacher? How about you quit worrying about legal maneuvering and just put your children and their needs first. SERIOUSLY. That is what the court wants to see. The kids are NOT in the court case. The kids are children and need to have a parent that thinks FIRST of them and puts how things look in court out of their mind.

 

[Lookforward]

Have you contacted the teacher yourself? If not - why not? That should be your first step, and if the teacher truly is concerned and has suggested testing - your child's well-being should trump any considerations wrt your court issues. Because I can almost guarantee that if you refuse against the teacher's suggestion AND Mom's willingness - that will look poorly on you.

The teacher did not ask for the daughter to be tested. The teacher on the app told mom daughter was not paying attention in class and that was the end of it.
If the teacher said we should get her tested I would have.

 

[stealth2]

The teacher did not ask for the daughter to be tested. The teacher on the app told mom daughter was not paying attention in class and that was the end of it.
If the teacher said we should get her tested I would have.

So you HAVE spoken to the teacher? Or are just taking Mom's word for it?

 

[Lookforward]

What Stealth said. Did you talk to the teacher? How about you quit worrying about legal maneuvering and just put your children and their needs first. SERIOUSLY. That is what the court wants to see. The kids are NOT in the court case. The kids are children and need to have a parent that thinks FIRST of them and puts how things look in court out of their mind.

Of course, these are my children and I deeply care about them and want what's best for them.

What I don't appreciate is that mom is just trying to find ways to cut me off. It's silly but I feel as if she wants everyone to say what a bad father this guy is and that's it. That's her only agenda and to ruin me financially.

Do you know a month ago under her supervision my 5-year-old was struck by a car (He's fine absolutely fine just got rattled)
When I came home there was no police report filed, No ambulance was called so I had to take him to a hospital to get him checked out.


Where the nurse screamed at me for not filing a police report. The hospital had to call the police

Just so frustrated with this process.
Thanks

 

[Zigner]

I was going to give a bunch of hypothetical examples of various medical conditions, but I'll just cut to the chase instead.

If your child has a medical condition that can be identified by testing, then why hesitate to get that testing? Your answer should not include anything about how it affects you.

 

[Ohiogal]

Of course, these are my children and I deeply care about them and want what's best for them.

What I don't appreciate is that mom is just trying to find ways to cut me off. It's silly but I feel as if she wants everyone to say what a bad father this guy is and that's it. That's her only agenda and to ruin me financially.

Do you know a month ago under her supervision my 5-year-old was struck by a car (He's fine absolutely fine just got rattled)
When I came home there was no police report filed, No ambulance was called so I had to take him to a hospital to get him checked out.


Where the nurse screamed at me for not filing a police report. The hospital had to call the police

Just so frustrated with this process.
Thanks

Mom can't cut you off unless you let her. And quite frankly, I see your posts as being about the animosity between you and her more than about your love for the children. You really need to get over that.

 

[Lookforward]

Mom can't cut you off unless you let her. And quite frankly, I see your posts as being about the animosity between you and her more than about your love for the children. You really need to get over that.

Thanks, it ac

I was going to give a bunch of hypothetical examples of various medical conditions, but I'll just cut to the chase instead.

If your child has a medical condition that can be identified by testing, then why hesitate to get that testing? Your answer should not include anything about how it affects you.

Zinger, i took the kid to a psychologist last year because mom wanted me too and then she canceled all sessions without stating anything.
Now at the 11th hour when I am waiting for a PAJ this new thing came up.

Last month it was a deposition, prior to that it was subpoena my bank account which I don't quite frankly understand why....

Sorry, I think from what I am reading here it's pretty unanimous here .

Relax spend time with kids take care of the kids and don't rent space to mom in your head

 

[AlmostThere]

@Ohiogal just wanted to pick your brain on a new issue.
Twice now mom has come to a parenting agreement she denied the first one and I am waiting for a new PAJ which i was supposed to receive today but didn't. Now there is a new drama folding. last week mom said that her teacher was concerned about my daughter's behavior and that mom wanted to get her tested for ADHD which i thought was ok but now i am wondering if mom is doing it for extra time? If my daughter has symptoms of ADHD does that mean that i can end up being an EOW parent?

Do you think something like this will fly this late in the court? I should add that I am the one who helps the kids out with their homework and classwork reading assignments etc. Mom has never been involved in any homework in the past 3 years?

Just wondering if anyone else wants to chime in please do so.
Thanks

I cannot figure out how a child being diagnosed with ADHD would affect your parenting time unless you have an issue with the the fact your daughter has such a diagnosis, the diagnosis itself or prescribed treatment.

 

[stealth2]

Sorry, I think from what I am reading here it's pretty unanimous here .

Relax spend time with kids take care of the kids and don't rent space to mom in your head

And ask the teacher if she suggested testing to Mom.