Maybe I should give more back story of our situation. Before we allowed him to meet our grand-daughter my wife and I met with her father to get a feel for what kind of person he is and to lay down some ground rules like the fact that she doesn't like to be touched. So, if you hug her please make it brief at least until she becomes more comfortable with you. Please refrain from swearing around her because when we met with him, he couldn't seem to complete a sentence without using the f-word. And we asked him to refrain from bad mouthing her mother or her mothers dead fiancee. So, the fact that he has told my grand-daughter, on 3 separate occasions, that her mom is a F-ing C-word doesn't sit well with me. He still swears constantly around her and when she asked him to "please don't use that language" he told her "F-you, I'm the parent, not you!" That he told her that the reason he went to jail from 2017 until last year was because my daughter had someone plant drugs in his apartment and then called the cops on him. When the court records show that he had sold meth to a under cover police officer. That he told my grand-daughter that my daughter's fiancee killing himself was the only smart thing he ever did. Keep in mind that man was in my grand-daughter life from the time she was 2 and she loved him with all of her heart. And it wasn't so much that fact that he would hug her, it was the fact that he would keep a hold of her when he could feel her trying to push away from him and he told her "I know you don't like this but I'm dad and I'm going to do it anyway!" Maybe I was raised with more respect for people that some of you but I ask you... What kind of man says that to a 12 year old girl and what is the message he is trying to send by saying and doing that? I could go on but if you don't understand why I feel he is a narcissist and I have concerns about her being alone around him then maybe I've come to the wrong place for help.
The kind of man that says that to his child (whom he is learning to be a father to) is likely the kind of man that needs some guidance on how to raise a child. That doesn't make him a narcissist. Your attitude towards the child's father is extremely thinly veiled and, I suspect, the child is feeding off your negative energy towards the man to some extent (possibly, to a great extent).
About the language he uses... He's right. He's the dad. Some families raise perfectly well adjusted children without having a single filter in place. Would you do that? Obviously not. But he IS the child's father.
I agree that he shouldn't be bad-mouthing the child's mother, but that's something that can be addressed by counseling and, if necessary, by court order.
Lastly...you're right about being in the wrong place, because the place you need to be is at your attorney's office. I don't mean that literally, rather, my point is that you have an attorney and you should listen to your attorney. Asking random internet strangers isn't going to help your situation.
