Want to know my options

[Eccentrica_Gallumbits]

What is the name of your state? Hawaii

Hello

My partner and I bought a home in Hawaii 9 years ago, and we are splitting up. The title is joint tenancy, if that matters. I want to stay in the home with (my) kids, and he will likely want to move back to his state. We have about equal amounts invested. He has in the past mentioned the possibility of me buying him out. I am in the process of talking to the mortgage company about this, whether I qualify and what the cost would be. I want to know if there are any other options, though, because the payoff, if 50% of the equity, will likely be the outside extreme of what I should pay per month based on my income. I am a single mom of two and unable to relocate to another state. No formal appraisal yet, home is valued somewhere around $900k, we bought for $390k, mortgage balance is about $256k. Thank you for any and all input.

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state? Hawaii

Hello

My partner and I bought a home in Hawaii 9 years ago, and we are splitting up. The title is joint tenancy, if that matters. I want to stay in the home with (my) kids, and he will likely want to move back to his state. We have about equal amounts invested. He has in the past mentioned the possibility of me buying him out. I am in the process of talking to the mortgage company about this, whether I qualify and what the cost would be. I want to know if there are any other options, though, because the payoff, if 50% of the equity, will likely be the outside extreme of what I should pay per month based on my income. I am a single mom of two and unable to relocate to another state. No formal appraisal yet, home is valued somewhere around $900k, we bought for $390k, mortgage balance is about $256k. Thank you for any and all input.

You can buy out his share of the property or you and your partner can sell the property and divide up the proceeds. You will either need to qualify for the current mortgage loan on your own (assume the loan) or shop for another lender, if you want to keep the house.

 

[adjusterjack]

$900,000 minus $256,000 = $644,000 in equity.

You will have to pay him half that $322,000.

$322,000 plus the balance of $256,000 means you will have to get a loan of $578,000.

30 years at 5% if you can get it is about $3100 per month plus taxes and insurance could bring you close to $4000 per month.

If you can get a HELOC for $322,000 it might give you more breathing space.

The other option is to sell the house and buy one for yourself that costs a lot less.

 

[Eccentrica_Gallumbits]

$900,000 minus $256,000 = $644,000 in equity.

You will have to pay him half that $322,000.

$322,000 plus the balance of $256,000 means you will have to get a loan of $578,000.

30 years at 5% if you can get it is about $3100 per month plus taxes and insurance could bring you close to $4000 per month.

If you can get a HELOC for $322,000 it might give you more breathing space.

The other option is to sell the house and buy one for yourself that costs a lot less.

Yikes. Those are scary options. Especially as I am on a very expensive island and in the smallest possible house, so no house options I could afford. I could look at condos but they have large maintenance fees that could go up at any time, and none would really be big enough for my kids and me. Plus, as far as driving time they are quite far from my kids' dad and their friends.

I have seen loan modifications mentioned along with hardship. Is that something I could possibly look at? Thank you for your input.

 

[Zigner]

Yikes. Those are scary options. Especially as I am on a very expensive island and in the smallest possible house, so no house options I could afford. I could look at condos but they have large maintenance fees that could go up at any time, and none would really be big enough for my kids and me. Plus, as far as driving time they are quite far from my kids' dad and their friends.

I have seen loan modifications mentioned along with hardship. Is that something I could possibly look at? Thank you for your input.

You may wish to consider moving to the mainland.

 

[zddoodah]

My partner and I bought a home in Hawaii 9 years ago, and we are splitting up. The title is joint tenancy

I assume "partner" means (ex-)boyfriend. Correct?

As for the rest of your post, if you can't or don't want to buy him out, and if he's not willing to let you continue living there without being bought out, the other option is to sell the place and divide the proceeds.

 

[Eccentrica_Gallumbits]

I assume "partner" means (ex-)boyfriend. Correct?

As for the rest of your post, if you can't or don't want to buy him out, and if he's not willing to let you continue living there without being bought out, the other option is to sell the place and divide the proceeds.

Yes. Partner is ex boyfriend. Thank you. That's such a scary option because I would not really be able to afford anything on the island, can't move without my kids, and my equity is basically my retirement plan. I would eat it up renting IF I could find a place (big if here right now).

 

[Zigner]

... can't move without my kids ...

I'm assuming that you don't wish to let the father of the children gain custody because you are unable to provide adequate housing.

 

[Eccentrica_Gallumbits]

I'm assuming that you don't wish to let the father of the children gain custody because you are unable to provide adequate housing.

You assume correctly. I would plow through my equity renting before I allowed that to happen, as it would not be good for the kids. He is a trust fund surfer type, and his parents funded his legal battle when I made a bid to relocate with the kids due to financial hardship here and good prospects on the Mainland when we first divorced. He won 50% custody and parenting time, showed little income and was only assigned $200/month child support, and then proceeded to not use it and be only marginally / Disneyland Dad involved. I'm the default parent overseeing their education, physical and mental health, etc. and have them the majority of the time. I would not abandon them.

 

[Eccentrica_Gallumbits]

You assume correctly. I would plow through my equity renting before I allowed that to happen, as it would not be good for the kids. He is a trust fund surfer type, and his parents funded his legal battle when I made a bid to relocate with the kids due to financial hardship here and good prospects on the Mainland when we first divorced. He won 50% custody and parenting time, showed little income and was only assigned $200/month child support, and then proceeded to not use it and be only marginally / Disneyland Dad involved. I'm the default parent overseeing their education, physical and mental health, etc. and have them the majority of the time. I would not abandon them.

And I have thought of making another bid to relocate, and that is an option. My chances would be better now that they're older. But I would be up against his parents' wealth again, it would be expensive, and I could lose. Also, at this point the kids are so embedded here with friends and school that I really would rather not move them.

 

[adjusterjack]

Then you are between the proverbial rock and hard place.

There are no magic words that will solve your problem.

How old are your children?

Are you and your boyfriend parting amicably or is there hostility?

 

[AlmostThere]

Could you bring in a border for extra income? That may require your children to share a room or you share a room with your child(ren).

 

[Eccentrica_Gallumbits]

Could you bring in a border for extra income? That may require your children to share a room or you share a room with your child(ren).

Yes that is a possibility. The house is tiny, though, and has only one bathroom. I had actually looked into converting the laundry room to a second bath, but I'm not sure if the outlay of money required makes this a good option, and it would also require moving the laundry setup outside, which would also cost. I could possibly not change anything and feel ok with the situation if renting to a female boarder, as that would feel less odd and risky, but four of us to a bathroom is awkward no matter what. The kids already share a room, it's a three bedroom house.

 

[Eccentrica_Gallumbits]

Then you are between the proverbial rock and hard place.

There are no magic words that will solve your problem.

How old are your children?

Are you and your boyfriend parting amicably or is there hostility?

We have had some strained conversations, but overall I think it will be amicable. He's financially ok, owns three other houses, no kids of his own.

 

[Eccentrica_Gallumbits]

$900,000 minus $256,000 = $644,000 in equity.

You will have to pay him half that $322,000.

$322,000 plus the balance of $256,000 means you will have to get a loan of $578,000.

30 years at 5% if you can get it is about $3100 per month plus taxes and insurance could bring you close to $4000 per month.

If you can get a HELOC for $322,000 it might give you more breathing space.

The other option is to sell the house and buy one for yourself that costs a lot less.

Thank you for the suggestion of HELOC. If I'm reading correctly, I would not qualify because of not enough equity in the home compared to value. Mostly because of crazy inflated value. Or maybe that implies it will come back down significantly, and I'm not sure if it will. So maybe it's mostly just being really lucky as far as when we bought.

I'm speaking to a lender who suggested an ARM. Especially since the matter of am inheretence is pending, but probably not soon enough to help with the refi. Does that sound like a good option? Or would it make more sense to get a standard 30-year fixed and plan to refi when possible? It looks like economists are leaning towards rates coming back down in the next few years.