Is it possible for my Mother to mess with my SSI/SSDI?

[DisabledGeek89]

What is the name of your state?Virginia

I used her work history to get SSDI, she is angry at me and is threatening to have that part of my benefits cut. Is this hot air? If so can I take her to court to keep my part of the benefits? Thanks in advance.

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state?Virginia

I used her work history to get SSDI, she is angry at me and is threatening to have that part of my benefits cut. Is this hot air? If so can I take her to court to keep my part of the benefits? Thanks in advance.

You lied on your application?

 

[DisabledGeek89]

You lied on your application?

No I did not, I told the truth, I just used her work history under a clause to get SSDI as well as SSI. Sorry for not being clear.

EDIT-https://www.tpcestate.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/1402152/2020/09/SSDI-Benefits-for-Adult-Children-Based-on-Parent-Work-Records.pdf

I also emailed people on my support team, my case manager, my therapist who used to be a PO and my advocate at a day program.

 

[quincy]

Here is your thread from May 2020 where your concerns were the same as they are now:

https://forum.freeadvice.com/threads/my-payee-is-going-to-make-it-difficult-to-get-my-ssdi.659302/

The information and advice provided to you then is still applicable now.

You might want to have a discussion with your “support team” about changing the payee from your mom to someone else.

 

[DisabledGeek89]

I am my own Payee now

 

[adjusterjack]

As long as using her work history was legit, there shouldn't be any problems.

 

[quincy]

I am my own Payee now

That’s good to hear. I do not see that your mom can legitimately mess with your benefits. Her threats to do so seem like idle threats.

 

[Taxing Matters]

What is the name of your state?Virginia

I used her work history to get SSDI, she is angry at me and is threatening to have that part of my benefits cut.

So long as your application and other submissions to SSA were accurate and honest then there is nothing she can do to change your benefits, for better or worse.

Is this hot air? If so can I take her to court to keep my part of the benefits? Thanks in advance.

SSA makes the decisions on benefits, not your mother. Suing her would not do anything to help you get any cut benefits restored and other than perhaps a defamation lawsuit you'd have no basis for suing your mother for anything either.

If your mother uses those kinds of threats to get you to do what she wants, that's not a healthy relationship. As hard as it can be to do with family, perhaps you'd benefit from less contact with her or even totally cutting off contact. That may sound mean at first, but sometimes doing that can really help improve your life. Relatives — including parents — are not always nice people. You want supportive people in your life, not those who tear you down.

 

[quincy]

Judging by DisabledGeek’s posting history on this forum, he has struggled for years trying to free himself from his mother’s control. It is a positive step in this direction that he was successful in becoming his own payee. He worked hard to get to that point.

 

[DisabledGeek89]

Judging by DisabledGeek’s posting history on this forum, he has struggled for years trying to free himself from his mother’s control. It is a positive step in this direction that he was successful in becoming his own payee. He worked hard to get to that point.

I had to get a letter from my therapist to be my own payee which helped me. I am glad that worked out well for me.

So long as your application and other submissions to SSA were accurate and honest then there is nothing she can do to change your benefits, for better or worse.



SSA makes the decisions on benefits, not your mother. Suing her would not do anything to help you get any cut benefits restored and other than perhaps a defamation lawsuit you'd have no basis for suing your mother for anything either.

If your mother uses those kinds of threats to get you to do what she wants, that's not a healthy relationship. As hard as it can be to do with family, perhaps you'd benefit from less contact with her or even totally cutting off contact. That may sound mean at first, but sometimes doing that can really help improve your life. Relatives — including parents — are not always nice people. You want supportive people in your life, not those who tear you down.

Thanks for your kind words and confirming my suspicions that she can't do anything to me legally about my benefits. Its relief I won't have to go to court. To say the least me and my Mother have a complicated relationship going back to when I was a kid. Its a mess I would rather not go into much detail about here. I will wait on further confirmation from my support team. She seems to have calmed down somewhat, she unblocked me but is still berating me from time to time. I am glad I live with my Father who I get along with a lot better. (My parents divorced when I was 2) The dispute like I said was posts on my Facebook page, she could have just unfollowed me. I think this speaks to her character. She wants me to switch sides politically and vote for the Democrats. They support things I could not in good moral consensus support. I am sure had this gone to court, the judge would have considered her character based on the information given, including getting upset on something someone else posted on their own FB page. I am not worried about the GOP taking my benefits I got my SSI when George W Bush was President.

 

[Bali Hai Again]

“Throw Momma From the Train”. (Danny DeVito and Billy Crystal) pretty funny. Demorats / GOP….I am glad to hear you have a cause worth fighting for.

 

[quincy]

I had to get a letter from my therapist to be my own payee which helped me. I am glad that worked out well for me.


Thanks for your kind words and confirming my suspicions that she can't do anything to me legally about my benefits. Its relief I won't have to go to court. To say the least me and my Mother have a complicated relationship going back to when I was a kid. Its a mess I would rather not go into much detail about here. I will wait on further confirmation from my support team. She seems to have calmed down somewhat, she unblocked me but is still berating me from time to time. I am glad I live with my Father who I get along with a lot better. (My parents divorced when I was 2) The dispute like I said was posts on my Facebook page, she could have just unfollowed me. I think this speaks to her character. She wants me to switch sides politically and vote for the Democrats. They support things I could not in good moral consensus support. I am sure had this gone to court, the judge would have considered her character based on the information given, including getting upset on something someone else posted on their own FB page. I am not worried about the GOP taking my benefits I got my SSI when George W Bush was President.

I am glad your therapist was a help in getting your mom removed as payee. You are in a better position now to ignore your mom whenever it is necessary for your mental and emotional health.

Good luck going forward.