Spouse won't sign papers

[isis297]

If so, then why all the first-person twaddle: " I believe this . . . " "I thought this . . . but then . . . "? (As if we've never been handed that feeble, evasive ploy).

Also bemusing is that within two hours and eleven minutes you - the "John Alden" in this episode - were conveniently able to add significant background details related to the domestic squabble. Are you two joined at the hip or what?

At first, I thought it would be a simple answer of "if one person refuses to sign then this is what has to happen" (e.g. default divorce) thinking surely the other person wouldn't be forced to stay married to the person when they don't want to be.

When I realized it wasn't that simple, I added the additional info as I know it. I am not any of the 3 parties or obviously I would have been able to answer some questions better.

I am very good friends with the new girlfriend and am sad to see how this is affecting their relationship not to mention the guy has been nicer than I would have been already if I was the one in his shoes. Personally I think he should stop giving her anything until a lawyer is obtained and something has been filed with Family Court, but it isn't my choice. ‍

 

[Bali Hai Again]

At first, I thought it would be a simple answer of "if one person refuses to sign then this is what has to happen" (e.g. default divorce) thinking surely the other person wouldn't be forced to stay married to the person when they don't want to be.

When I realized it wasn't that simple, I added the additional info as I know it. I am not any of the 3 parties or obviously I would have been able to answer some questions better.

I am very good friends with the new girlfriend and am sad to see how this is affecting their relationship not to mention the guy has been nicer than I would have been already if I was the one in his shoes. Personally I think he should stop giving her anything until a lawyer is obtained and something has been filed with Family Court, but it isn't my choice. ‍

Default divorce: When I was divorced in NY (20+ years ago) a divorce complaint was filed with the court and if the other party did not answer that complaint within the prescribed time limit they were in default. Which meant they were in default of the complaint and subject to everything asked for in complaint including the divorce if I remember correctly. You are describing something entirely different. I believe you are referring to a no-fault divorce. Which is absent grounds for a divorce.

Your friends guy has no choice but to get a lawyer to move things along IMHO. The stb ex-wife is playing games. Why? Because she can. And FYI divorces are handled in Supreme Court in NYS.

it would be nice if they came to an agreement, presented to the judge and got it approved but personally I don’t see that happening. He needs a lawyer.

 

[Litigator22]

At first, I thought it would be a simple answer of "if one person refuses to sign then this is what has to happen" (e.g. default divorce) thinking surely the other person wouldn't be forced to stay married to the person when they don't want to be.

When I realized it wasn't that simple, I added the additional info as I know it. I am not any of the 3 parties or obviously I would have been able to answer some questions better.

I am very good friends with the new girlfriend and am sad to see how this is affecting their relationship not to mention the guy has been nicer than I would have been already if I was the one in his shoes. Personally, I think he should stop giving her anything until a lawyer is obtained and something has been filed with Family Court, but it isn't my choice. ‍

What does this twaddle have to do with your wife refusing to abide your selfish wishes?

 

[Just Blue]

At first, I thought it would be a simple answer of "if one person refuses to sign then this is what has to happen" (e.g. default divorce) thinking surely the other person wouldn't be forced to stay married to the person when they don't want to be.

When I realized it wasn't that simple, I added the additional info as I know it. I am not any of the 3 parties or obviously I would have been able to answer some questions better.

I am very good friends with the new girlfriend and am sad to see how this is affecting their relationship not to mention the guy has been nicer than I would have been already if I was the one in his shoes. Personally I think he should stop giving her anything until a lawyer is obtained and something has been filed with Family Court, but it isn't my choice. ‍

Does this guy know you are posting about his personal/legal matters on the internet?

 

[quincy]

What does this twaddle have to do with your wife refusing to abide your selfish wishes?

Litigator, isis297 is neither the wife nor the husband involved but, rather, a friend of the girlfriend of the husband.

 

[not2cleverRed]

What I do know is, this woman cheated on him and moved the guy in for a bit right after he moved out. I guess it didn't last as he's no longer there. The husband has since moved on and has been in another relationship for just over a year. They've been apart for almost 2 years. I will advise him to seek counsel and go through the courts as it's sad she won't just sign when she made her choices and he's being beyond fair.

Then he is committing adultery too. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Having experienced a contested divorce in the state of NY, I can firmly say: until the ink is dry on your decree, the marriage is not over. Having come out the end of that very long tunnel, I've got to say that anyone who "moves on" before things are finalized is a fool.

I am very good friends with the new girlfriend and am sad to see how this is affecting their relationship not to mention the guy has been nicer than I would have been already if I was the one in his shoes. Personally I think he should stop giving her anything until a lawyer is obtained and something has been filed with Family Court, but it isn't my choice. ‍

Your friend should break up until he faces reality and gets a divorce. Retaining a lawyer is step one in what can be a long legal dance.

I've met plenty of nice guys in similar situations. They'll whine about their nasty wives, and how the marriage is "basically over", years go by with them getting no closer to an actual legal divorce.

Your friend deserves better.

 

[stealth2]

I am not any of the 3 parties ‍

There are only two parties - your friend and his wife. His g/f doesn't play any role in the legalities. No matter how long they've been together.

This is, frankly, one of the reasons why it's a bad idea to get involved with someone who has not yet cleaned up their mess.

 

[stealth2]

Having experienced a contested divorce in the state of NY, I can firmly say: until the ink is dry on your decree, the marriage is not over. Having come out the end of that very long tunnel, I've got to say that anyone who "moves on" before things are finalized is a fool.

Ditto.

 

[Bali Hai Again]

Having myself been through that very long, dark legal tunnel in NYS, if it came to another divorce for me, she can have everything and I’ll live on the streets, homeless and in shelters before I put myself through that again!

 

[Litigator22]

Litigator, isis297 is neither the wife nor the husband involved but, rather, a friend of the girlfriend of the husband.

Well, that settles it! Isis, like Henry Higgins, is a confirmed bachelor who has never allowed a falsehood to pass his lips or fingertips.

Now if you'll kindly divulge the secret to your invariable powers of insight. I promise not to tell anyone.
____________

Come on, Q! I'm just jerking the jerk's chain who deserves that and more for sticking his meddlesome nose into someone else's private affairs. Not to mention his apparent willingness to offer that someone uneducated legal advice.

 

[isis297]

Well, that settles it! Isis, like Henry Higgins, is a confirmed bachelor who has never allowed a falsehood to pass his lips or fingertips.

Now if you'll kindly divulge the secret to your invariable powers of insight. I promise not to tell anyone.
____________

Come on, Q! I'm just jerking the jerk's chain who deserves that and more for sticking his meddlesome nose into someone else's private affairs. Not to mention his apparent willingness to offer that someone uneducated legal advice.

1) I'm not a guy.
2) What uneducated advice did I give him? I asked here for advice and ended up telling him he really needs to seek a consultation with a lawyer and will probably need to take it to court.
3) Do you have nothing better to do than to troll threads of people asking for advice? If you have nothing valuable to add, please just leave me alone. I've gotten enough good advice from the kind people who actually know what they are talking about and have passed that on. Your drivel is not needed.

 

[isis297]

Having myself been through that very long, dark legal tunnel in NYS, if it came to another divorce for me, she can have everything and I’ll live on the streets, homeless and in shelters before I put myself through that again!

This guy is being more than fair and has pretty much given her everything. She still won't sign.

 

[Just Blue]

This guy is being more than fair and has pretty much given her everything. She still won't sign.

Does this guy know you are posting about his legal matters on the internet?

 

[Bali Hai Again]

This guy is being more than fair and has pretty much given her everything. She still won't sign.

Sounds like a contested divorce is on the horizon unless being served a summons to answer a divorce complaint snaps her into reality. And it could lengthy and expensive.

 

[Litigator22]

I'm not a guy.

Well, of course! Now it all makes sense. How silly of me not to see it. Thanks for turning on the light.

You aren't merely a "friend'' of the guy with the alleged obstinate wife. You are the current "girlfriend" of the guy with the alleged obstinate wife.

Which explains why you are so attuned to the day-to-day developments, including the reported "We the People" malarkey with its two, unheard of, self-expiring settlement proposals. And why your intractable eagerness that the existing matrimonial knot be severed, freeing up the hapless guy to be fastened to another before he comes to his senses.