Odd situation- upset customer/parent reaching out to my employers

[CCI]

North Dakota:

A couple years ago I was working at youth sports club as a coach and had parent of a player of mine accuse and report me to our governing body for verbal abuse towards their child. The governing body of our program found the complaint valid and banned me from participation. I don't agree with the decision or the representation of the events which were brought forth. However, I have no recourse to challenge the governing body and have moved on. This situation comes no where close to a criminal matter and has never been pursued.

Now this parent is continuing to search for my current location and employer (which is still in the youth development field) and pass on the decision made by the governing body to my employers. I am no where near the state and not participating in any many with the organization or activity.

I am unsure of what to do about this issue, as it is harming my career, but I don't know what category this may fall under if any to where I would have any recourse.

Any insight or advice would be great. I am not in the state and am unsure if that affects the situation.

Do I have any options to respond to this? Is this a legal issue that I can put a stop to?

 

[adjusterjack]

it is harming my career,

Exactly how is it harming your career?

Serious question.

Has your employment been terminated?

Have your friends, associates and neighbors shunned you?

Have you suffered any monetary losses?

Any medical costs for psychiatric treatment for mental health conditions brought on by her behavior?


I suggest you have a consult with a defamation attorney and review your options.

 

[CCI]

Exactly how is it harming your career?

Serious question.

Has your employment been terminated?

Have your friends, associates and neighbors shunned you?

Have you suffered any monetary losses?

Any medical costs for psychiatric treatment for mental health conditions brought on by her behavior?


I suggest you have a consult with a defamation attorney and review your options.

I have been terminated ie asked to resign or else. My main goal is to get it to stop. I am unsure if this person's actions are illegal or not as technically they are reporting an opinion and an event that took place.

 

[Just Blue]

I have been terminated ie asked to resign or else. My main goal is to get it to stop. I am unsure if this person's actions are illegal or not as technically they are reporting an opinion and an event that took place.

What was the "event"?

 

[CCI]

What was the "event"?

I was accused of singling out and kicking kids out kids of practice. It was considered a pattern of "verbal abuse."

The governing body believed the complaint over myself and co-coaches.

I would handle the season differently if I could go back, but I didn't go Bobby knight or cuss a kid out and throw stuff. That level of behavior isn't what the issues were over.

I am just trying to move on and am tired of someone volunteering this information to my employers years later.

 

[adjusterjack]

Again, consult a defamation attorney. If you don't have a case for defamation you might have one for harassment. Especially since it's costing you your job.

 

[cbg]

A suggestion from the HR standpoint - for what it's worth. Feel free to take the advice or leave it, as you prefer.

What employers hate most is being blindsided. In applying for jobs going forward, you might want to consider bringing the incident to the potential employer yourself, putting your own spin on it. You can put yourself in the most positive light you can, admitting that you might handle the situation differently (and thus agreeing that you have learned from the experience).

By doing this, if the parent approaches the new employer again, it's old news and the employer has no reason to take any action.

I don't do recruiting or hiring any longer - I've done benefits exclusively for the last fifteen years. But I did hiring for a very long time before that, and I do participate in the interviewing for my own team members, and this is how I'd want an applicant to address the situation if I were the hiring employer.

 

[stealth2]

A suggestion from the HR standpoint - for what it's worth. Feel free to take the advice or leave it, as you prefer.

What employers hate most is being blindsided. In applying for jobs going forward, you might want to consider bringing the incident to the potential employer yourself, putting your own spin on it. You can put yourself in the most positive light you can, admitting that you might handle the situation differently (and thus agreeing that you have learned from the experience).

By doing this, if the parent approaches the new employer again, it's old news and the employer has no reason to take any action.

I don't do recruiting or hiring any longer - I've done benefits exclusively for the last fifteen years. But I did hiring for a very long time before that, and I do participate in the interviewing for my own team members, and this is how I'd want an applicant to address the situation if I were the hiring employer.

Not in HR, and solely from an anecdotal perspective. Working retail and facing the ire of unhappy/dissatisfied customers who would threaten to complain… I always found it wise to bring such issues up to those further up the food chain (“you might be getting a call… here’s what happened…). They appreciated the heads up and could formulate a tentative plan should it happen. No one likes being blindsided.

 

[quincy]

North Dakota:

A couple years ago I was working at youth sports club as a coach and had parent of a player of mine accuse and report me to our governing body for verbal abuse towards their child. The governing body of our program found the complaint valid and banned me from participation. I don't agree with the decision or the representation of the events which were brought forth. However, I have no recourse to challenge the governing body and have moved on. This situation comes no where close to a criminal matter and has never been pursued.

Now this parent is continuing to search for my current location and employer (which is still in the youth development field) and pass on the decision made by the governing body to my employers. I am no where near the state and not participating in any many with the organization or activity.

I am unsure of what to do about this issue, as it is harming my career, but I don't know what category this may fall under if any to where I would have any recourse.

Any insight or advice would be great. I am not in the state and am unsure if that affects the situation.

Do I have any options to respond to this? Is this a legal issue that I can put a stop to?

There is a two-year statute of limitations for filing a defamation claim in North Dakota, with the limitations period commencing from the date of first publication of the defamatory statements (communicating the falsehood to a third party). It appears there is no defamation claim available for you to pursue at this point.

In addition, if all that was communicated to any current or prospective employer by the disgruntled parent was that a complaint about you was found “valid” by the sports club governing board - that it was determined that you verbally abused a child while you were coaching - that information would not be defamatory. It would be true. A statement must be false to be defamatory.

If you are still in a youth development field, however, I agree with cbg. You probably would save yourself some grief if you were open with employers about the sports club complaint and the governing board’s determination.

Here for informational purposes are links to North Dakota’s civil libel (written) and civil slander (oral) defamation statutes:

https://casetext.com/statute/north-dakota-century-code/title-14-domestic-relations-and-persons/chapter-14-02-personal-rights/section-14-02-03-civil-libel-defined

https://casetext.com/statute/north-dakota-century-code/title-14-domestic-relations-and-persons/chapter-14-02-personal-rights/section-14-02-04-civil-slander-defined

Instead of defamation, you might want to consult with an attorney in your area about the parent’s apparent stalking and harassment. Those could be legal areas to explore.

 

[AlmostThere]

What is the parent saying? There is a big difference between the parent saying "The governing body of the sports club x found a complaint of abusive behavior towards participant valid and CCIs participation" and CCI will harm your participants.

 

[CCI]

What is the parent saying? There is a big difference between the parent saying "The governing body of the sports club x found a complaint of abusive behavior towards participant valid and CCIs participation" and CCI will harm your participants.

I am pretty sure they are just passing on the incident and findings of the volunteer panel.

Would a cease and desist letter/warning stop the average person or encourage it?

I am just exasperated at this point. I don't want to pay for what won't be a solution. I am not sure why this person can't move on.

 

[quincy]

I am pretty sure they are just passing on the incident and findings of the volunteer panel.

Would a cease and desist letter/warning stop the average person or encourage it?

I am just exasperated at this point. I don't want to pay for what won't be a solution. I am not sure why this person can't move on.

A cease and desist letter sent from an attorney on attorney letterhead, advising that legal action is being considered and could be pursued if the harassment does not stop immediately, could be effective. But a cease and desist letter is just a letter, with no force of law behind it. The recipient is free to ignore it.

The reason to have an attorney send the cease and desist letter is that the recipient at least is made aware that you have consulted with an attorney, making the threat to take legal action more believable and, therefore, more intimidating.

Sitting down with an attorney for a personal review of the matter would be a good way to determine if there is a legal solution to your problem.