Medical appointments

[Drmomdc]

What is the name of your state? TX
I have exclusive decision making for medical and psychological. Kids have been seeing a counselor almost every Wednesday for 2 years. Last summer, he refused to take them to their appointments, but allowed me to take them. This year, he’s refusing altogether. 3 of the 4 kids are really struggling, 1 may need to be referred to another provider. Ages 8-14. Anything I can do? My oldest is really coming unraveled at the thought of not getting to see her counselor.

 

[Taxing Matters]

Anything I can do?

I can think of two options: first, file an action in court to enforce the order. The second would be calling Child Protective Services (CPS) if the kids are really suffering without their therapy. The first option would cost some money, perhaps a lot of money. The second would bring CPS into the mix, and that might not be a good thing. My observation is that the CPS agencies in the states in which I have have lived were quick to take the kid away, but rather slow in getting the kid back the other parent. That's because once CPS involved they want to ensure that they aren't sending the kids to another home where they would suffer mistreatment. Their investigation of the matter could take a long time. It may different in your state.

I suggest you meet with a family law attorney to go over your options and how each would turn out. There may be more options in your than the two I've mentioned. So meeting with an attorney would get you information on all the options. Maybe there is something in your state that would be better in your situation. You don't have to hire the attorney you consult to do anything else for you. That's up to you what else you'd the attorney do.

 

[stealth2]

What parenting time do you have during the summer? If you see the kids weekly, perhaps schedule their appointments on your time? Otherwise, perhaps you could see if the counselor would agree to do phone appointments over the summer?

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? TX
I have exclusive decision making for medical and psychological. Kids have been seeing a counselor almost every Wednesday for 2 years. Last summer, he refused to take them to their appointments, but allowed me to take them. This year, he’s refusing altogether. 3 of the 4 kids are really struggling, 1 may need to be referred to another provider. Ages 8-14. Anything I can do? My oldest is really coming unraveled at the thought of not getting to see her counselor.

Are you scheduling the appointments on HIS TIME? If so, KNOCK IT OFF! You don't have the right to do that. His time is his time. NOT yours. You schedule appointments on YOUR TIME.

 

[Ohiogal]

I can think of two options: first, file an action in court to enforce the order. The second would be calling Child Protective Services (CPS) if the kids are really suffering without their therapy. The first option would cost some money, perhaps a lot of money. The second would bring CPS into the mix, and that might not be a good thing. My observation is that the CPS agencies in the states in which I have have lived were quick to take the kid away, but rather slow in getting the kid back the other parent. That's because once CPS involved they want to ensure that they aren't sending the kids to another home where they would suffer mistreatment. Their investigation of the matter could take a long time. It may different in your state.

I suggest you meet with a family law attorney to go over your options and how each would turn out. There may be more options in your than the two I've mentioned. So meeting with an attorney would get you information on all the options. Maybe there is something in your state that would be better in your situation. You don't have to hire the attorney you consult to do anything else for you. That's up to you what else you'd the attorney do.

If she is scheduling the appointments on his time, she is in the wrong. She needs to schedule the appointments on HER TIME. She doesn't get to dictate what he does. So unless the court order states he is required to give up his time, he is not in violation of the court order.

CPS would be a bad option. Trust me on that. Calling them puts your own custody in jeopardy.

 

[stealth2]

Are you scheduling the appointments on HIS TIME? If so, KNOCK IT OFF! You don't have the right to do that. His time is his time. NOT yours. You schedule appointments on YOUR TIME.

I had the same thought but realized this is only an issue during the summer. I'm guessing Dad has extended parenting time...

 

[Ohiogal]

I had the same thought but realized this is only an issue during the summer. I'm guessing Dad has extended parenting time...

But mom cannot schedule things on Dad's time. Doesn't matter what it is. Unless dad agrees.

 

[stealth2]

But mom cannot schedule things on Dad's time. Doesn't matter what it is. Unless dad agrees.

True. Depending on the summer schedule, Mom might need to get creative.

 

[Just Blue]

Perhaps Zoom.

 

[commentator]

I have a very poor opinion of counseling at a distance, as in Zoom or by telephone. It's like birth control, anything is better than nothing, but some things just are not very good. The interpersonal interaction, the being in the same room with the person you are talking to is a big part of the counseling process, IMHO of course. I'd do all I could to see that the children get to see the counselor, except that like Ohio, I really don't recommend getting CPS involved. The actual situation of the children here is questionable, we'd need to know. If Dad has the kids during the summer, she may, if he will not cooperate with her taking them, as he did last year, need to threaten to take him to court, and be willing to do so. I really feel that the counseling is important. Surely her getting them to counseling wouldn't intefere with his parenting time too much. Are the parents in the same area? Is he the one who is paying for it? But I say "surely they can work it out" with tongue in cheek, of course if they can't work things out, this will be a hill to die on and the fight goes on. Poor kids.

 

[stealth2]

I have a very poor opinion of counseling at a distance, as in Zoom or by telephone. It'like birth control, anything is better than nothing, but some things just are not very good. The interpersonal being in the same room with the person you are talking to is a big part of the counseling process, IMHO of course. I'd do all I could to see that the children get to see the counselor, except that like Ohio, I really don't recommend getting CPS involved. The actual situation of the children here is questionable, we need to know. If mom has no time with them when she could schedule counseling appointments, then how'd she end up with "exclusive decision making?"

I would guess Mom has the bulk of the time during the school year, and Dad the summer.

And while I agree that Zoom/telehealth appointments aren't optimal, it may have to suffice.

 

[cbg]

Is it that Mom is actively making an appointment during the week and making it during Dad's time, or is it (as I interpreted what the OP said) that the kids have a standing appointment every week at the same time, winter, fall, spring and summer 52 weeks out of the year? That's not QUITE the same thing as "scheduling appointments on Dad's time".

 

[stealth2]

Is it that Mom is actively making an appointment during the week and making it during Dad's time, or is it (as I interpreted what the OP said) that the kids have a standing appointment every week at the same time, winter, fall, spring and summer 52 weeks out of the year? That's not QUITE the same thing as "scheduling appointments on Dad's time".

That's also how I interpreted it, and then factored in the likelihood of summer parenting time. Given that we're at just about July, I suspect Mom may be best off trying to sort out a remote workaround for this summer (and get Dad's buy-in) and sort out the legalities for next summer.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? TX
I have exclusive decision making for medical and psychological. Kids have been seeing a counselor almost every Wednesday for 2 years. Last summer, he refused to take them to their appointments, but allowed me to take them. This year, he’s refusing altogether. 3 of the 4 kids are really struggling, 1 may need to be referred to another provider. Ages 8-14. Anything I can do? My oldest is really coming unraveled at the thought of not getting to see her counselor.

About all you can do is take it back to court. However, that is unlikely to get any results in time for this summer even if you could convince a judge to treat it as an emergency. Do you have any time with them during the summer? If so, could you switch the appointments to take place during your time? I realize that the standard TX summer schedule may make that difficult/impossible.

 

[cbg]

That's also how I interpreted it, and then factored in the likelihood of summer parenting time. Given that we're at just about July, I suspect Mom may be best off trying to sort out a remote workaround for this summer (and get Dad's buy-in) and sort out the legalities for next summer.

That may be so, and I'm not arguing that point. I just thought that chastising her for "making appointments on Dad's time" was a bit over the top if she's talking about a standing appointment that's the same each and every week. Especially if she has the exclusive decision-making rights for medical and psychological appointments. We're some of us a bit too quick to be accusatory about things we know only a paragraph or so about.