Cyper Stalking/harassment. I'm scared, what can be dones about this?

[EmilyJ]

What is the name of your state? Alabama

joined a BB sometime ago to talk about horses. There were some trolls, but nothing serious...until they decided to attack me.

There is one poster who really has it out for me. She's 18 years old(let's call her Jane) and like to stalk my posts. Jane and her friends on this BB would take my posts from another respected BB, post it on theirs and make fun of it. Ok, no problem, I didn't respond to it.

But now, this Jane e-mails me, calling me stupid, wacky, creepy and what have you. I told her to leave me alone but Jane still contacts me. I changed my e-mail, got a new BB ID and went on with my life. Jane along with her friends found me (they have no life) and then began to send me more harassing e-mails. It got so bad that she started to stalk my posts on the respected BB and harass me in a passive agressive way.

I warned Jane that I have has all the crap she has posted and her e-mails to me on file and I'll get a lawyer if she doesn't stop. Jane even took my photos and modified them to make me look bad. I had to change my photo links (I share my photos with family and friends) to get away from her but she always finds me. Jane and her friends take great joy finding who I am and then start to talk **** about me on the BB.

I got fed up. I told Jane's mom what she has been doing to be but her mom replied that I can't do anything about it. Her mom is also a lawyer and said that this was all my fault. All I asked her mother was to tell her daughter to quit e-mailing me harassing e-mails and to stop stalking me on the internet. But you know who mothers are when it comes to their own daughters.

The scary part is that Jane and her friends did this to another poster(let's call her Becky). One of Jane's friend boarded with this person and one day they all got together and went to that barn. They started to spread lies that she was cheating on her husband and put Becky into a nervous breakdown. I don't want that happening to me.
I have horses and I want to train with an excellent trainer, but since the Jane is rich and has connections(her mom and dad are "big time" lawyers as Jane puts it), I'm afraid that she'll conact the trainer that I want to train with and say all sorts of lies. I know it's far out there, but I don't want to take any chances.

What can I do? I don't feel safe anymore. I want to talk about my horses but how can I when Jane is stalking me? I'm also in fear that she'll hurt my horses when I'm at a show.

 

[JETX]

What can I do?

Simple answer.... ignore her. Your reactions are exactly what is 'feeding' this problem.

I don't feel safe anymore.

Why not??? There is absolutely NOTHING in your post that would indicate you are in any physical danger. Heck, there is nothing to even show that she knows your name or location. Further, quit putting yourself in this position!! Why are you posting pictures, etc. on the internet?? Clearly, this is could lead to such a situation.

I want to talk about my horses but how can I when Jane is stalking me?

So what?? Talk all you want... just don't give any specifics (name, location, identifying information, etc.) to anyone you don't know. Very common, common sense.

I'm also in fear that she'll hurt my horses when I'm at a show.

Why??

 

[meganproser]

Everything JETX said and:

But now, this Jane e-mails me

Why haven’t you BLOCKED her email address?

I changed my e-mail

Wasn’t that the hard way of avoiding her mail? All you had to do was block her.

Jane along with her friends found me (they have no life) and then began to send me more harassing e-mails.

Blocking is a wonderful thing!

All I asked her mother was to tell her daughter to quit e-mailing me

Did the mom suggest the use of the blocking feature?

What can I do? I don't feel safe anymore. I want to talk about my horses but how can I when Jane is stalking me? I'm also in fear that she'll hurt my horses when I'm at a show.

There is no way this girl or her friends would be bothering to email you unless you are reacting to the emails in some way.

You’ve made a bad enemy. Now you are going to live with the consequences, which include the fear that she may be willing to break the law in order to harm you.

You may want to consider the possibility of making peace with her. Otherwise, until she does something criminal or tortuous, all you can do is watch your back.

 

[EmilyJ]

I did make an attempt to make peace with her but she won't do it.

The point is that I do ignore her every way I can. I delete her e-mails and do to read them anymore. The PT she uses to reach me doesn't have an ignore feature or I've would've done that long ago. Also she uses multiple e-mail address (isn't yahoo great?) to contact me.
As for the mother, she's even worse then the child.
I'm just wondering if there is anything I can legally do if this keeps up.
I'll take your advice and see what I can do with it.

Thanks a bunch!

Oh Jext: They are on my webshots. I share my pictures of my horses to my friends and family. And Jane has done this to other people too. I'm not the only one.

 

[meganproser]

If she's as bad as you say, maybe she has already done something that qualifies as criminal or tortuous.

This They started to spread lies that she was cheating on her husband could be grounds for a defamation suit.

You haven't mentioned anything that serious when you listed what she's done to you though.

Jane and her friends take great joy finding who I am and then start to talk **** about me on the BB.

You are making it a game for them by changing screen names. Don't do that. It is dishonest, unnecessary, and only gives them more reason to attack you.

She is allowed to post in the same forums you post in, even though you know she's only there BECAUSE of you.

I don't know what a "PT" is but some email programs have a feature that is the opposite of banning. The feature allows you to set up a list of addresses you WANT to hear from, and no one else can get through.

The end of school is almost here and maybe she’ll be moving on to bigger things soon. Good luck in dealing with this girl.

 

[EmilyJ]

I hope things will get better. Right now it's been smooth and I just stick with my horse forum that I've been going to since 2000, BB1 (the place is like a huge family). Other posters agree with me (on BB1) that Jane is stalking my posts but the Mod can't do anything unless Jane makes a threat to my horses or myself.
You can see why that I'm a bit scared for my horses. There was an incident about 6 months ago where a young rider was returning to the barn at a show. Two teenagers walked up to her, asked if she was riding "jumper(name changed)" and the rider said yes. Then one of the teenagers took a syringe and needle, slammed it into the horse's neck and ran away. In horse showing, you MUST not have any drugs in the horse's system or you will be suspended, even banned from the USEF. The report didn't state what was in the syringe but it could've been anything.
There are even worse things that go on. Tails getting cut off, tack stolen, horses being poisoned (race horses(Thoroughbreds) have a guard dog at each stall to prevent that) etc...

I haven't changed my name and I plan on not doing it. Like you said, it gives them fuel. PT is Private Topic on BB1 that you use to talk to people privately. Sadly, it doesn't have an ignore feature. So, what I do now is just delete without opening it. So far it has worked. Jane LOVES it when people respond to her garbage. I'm not the only one Jane torments.

What I have done too is that I moved my wedding photos and put them in a private Webshot. I was showing them to my friends on BB1 because they wanted to see how my wedding looked. Everybody says that I looked like Penelope Cruz's twin(I'm full Italian) and said that my wedding was beautiful. That's when that Jane took my wedding photos and butcher them up. It was funny, Jane put the face of my favorite rider (mind you he's 68) and put it in front of my husband's face. After that I put my photos on a private album. The only thing on my public webshots is me riding, jumping and when I went to Ocala HITS show (it's a HUGE "A" show with big time riders) and nothing personal. The funny thing is that Jane won't butcher those pictures.

When does it become borderline stalking? The funny things is that Jane and her friends go allover the internet and find stuff that I said YEARS ago and make fun of it. I mean anything; movie reviews, horse classifieds of horses that I sold, want ads of horses that I was looking to buy. This stuff was like 3-6 years ago too. I don't respond to those posts, but DAMN, don't these girls have lives? I thought everyone on the BB2 rode horses or had something to do with horses, that's why I joined. Now I know BB2 is just a cesspool of negativity and that's why I left.

 

[meganproser]

Hey Emily, I hope you are still around.

It seems you were right...you can probably have “Jane” charged with harassment. It’s only a misdemeanor, but it’s criminal so the cops will handle it.

Since you already know who she is, you can call the police where she lives and file a complaint if you really think that is a wise course of action.

Keep in mind she is only going to get fined and evidently, she knows where you and your horse live.

Just something to think about.

 

[atxcoolguy]

hey bitc*, this is "jane" i know who you are. i know where you live. and i'm never gonna stop messing with you. ha ha

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

hey bitc*, this is "jane" i know who you are. i know where you live. and i'm never gonna stop messing with you. ha ha

You must have a lonely pathetic life. Why is your name "Jane", if your such a cool guy?

 

[CLOE3]

Coolguy?????

or is it jane???? i will say this,, there are many loosers in this world,, and you are one of them!!! i bet, if i tried to email you,, you would have no current address!!! oh and cool..... there are many stalkers in this world,, and they do get caught up with... ya know,,, WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND... coolguy,,, you are a LOOSER!!!!! you just jumped on the bandwagon, because you have nothing better to do....... god bless you hun,, you will need all of the blessings you can get,,,,,,, cloe

 

[CLOE3]

emily

send it all to spam!!!!! block the emails and im's... if its not this person, it will be someone else.... there are many people out there that are mentally challenged stalkers!!!!!!!!! they will get caught up with,, believe me,, they always do....... if i where you,, i would change my name..... unless you can handle all of this abuse!!! there are many ways to stop this!!!!! they are playing a game with you,, get off the board!!!!!!!! god bless,, and good luck,, cloe

 

[ScaredOfHer]

Dont ignore her

Simple answer.... ignore her. Your reactions are exactly what is 'feeding' this problem.


Why not??? There is absolutely NOTHING in your post that would indicate you are in any physical danger. Heck, there is nothing to even show that she knows your name or location. Further, quit putting yourself in this position!! Why are you posting pictures, etc. on the internet?? Clearly, this is could lead to such a situation.


So what?? Talk all you want... just don't give any specifics (name, location, identifying information, etc.) to anyone you don't know. Very common, common sense.


Why??

I was given the same advice, and it has become a nightmare. Get a restraining order, hire cyberstalking PI's. I did and now Federal and state charges are being filed. Stalkers do not stop!

 

[cbg]

This thread is two years old. I doubt the poster is coming back for additional information at this point.