You need to establish paternity and make sure you are a decent father to the child. Apparently the child has already had a fairly rough road and while you cannot make up for the loss the child has endured to date, it is not too late to establish a healthy father/child relationship. I would suggest, if you get custody, to get family counseling with the child and try to get over this reluctance to deal with the authorities, as that is the only way this will work (By the way, my brother fathered a child out of his marriage, the woman did not tell him until the child was 3 or 4 and she decided she wanted child support. She fought the paternity test but the judge made her cooperate (and he lived in Indiana). Long story short, he was the dad, he paid child support, he exercised regular visitation (and his wife cooperated as well even thought he had cheated on her and made this baby) and now the young man is in his early 20s, married and a baby on the way and has his dad, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. You made a terrible mistake years ago, but try to correct it. Do the right thing. Man up. Do not give up.