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Neglect, or normal kid stuff?

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CJane

CJane

Senior Member
What is the name of your state? Missouri

My girls were with their father this weekend. He took them camping at his brother-in-law's house, and they were playing in the farm pond. Apparently, on Saturday, my ex developed a headache and went into the camper to lay down for awhile, leaving his wife and her mother to supervise the girls.

My ex's wife wouldn't actually get in the water with the girls, because she just found out she's pregnant and was afraid there was 'too much bacteria in the water', and her mother has MS and 'can barely walk'. So, I'm wondering who, exactly would have rescued the children if they'd gotten into serious trouble, not to mention the fact that if there's bacteria in the water that's THAT scary, what were my kids doing in it????

Anyway, my oldest daughter cut her foot on something in the water. No one knows what. She's got a gash about 4 inches long down the center of the sole of her foot, which required a trip to the emergency room where they superglued it closed.

I really feel like this would not have happened if:

1) The kids had been properly supervised (an adult IN the water with them)
2) The kids had been properly attired (river shoes on their feet)

So, am I just being a momma bear? Neither of the children have ever been injured on my watch (and I was a stay at home mom for 5 years). Yet, it seems like EVERY time they come home from their dad's house, there's an injury or an illness or even something as 'minor' as them being absolutely covered with mosquito bites.
 


B

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
This is called 'growing up'.

you have nothing legal that can be done. And dad did nothing legally wrong.

Geeez. Should he sue you for neglect each and every time they get a cold or trip and scrape their knee? Do you REALLY want to open that can of crap?
 
stealth2

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Ya know..... stuff happens. I cut myself swimming in a lake when I was a kid - I think it was a shell, and yeah I had to go to the hospital to get it stitched up. Kids get cuts, scrapes, broken bones, etc all the time - just from being kids. If yours never have on your watch, either you're very lucky or overprotective.

I suspect that if one of the kids was in trouble in the water, stepmom would not have just stood there.
 
R

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
Children get injured and river/water shoes an modern invention. I'm sure if your child was drowning someone would have jumped in to save her, they wouldn't stand there and say "I won't go in because there are microbes in there! :eek: " Exposure to pond water can represent an increased risk for Ecoli and Salmonella for pregnant women and less for children.
 
C

casa

Senior Member
CJane said:
What is the name of your state? Missouri

My girls were with their father this weekend. He took them camping at his brother-in-law's house, and they were playing in the farm pond. Apparently, on Saturday, my ex developed a headache and went into the camper to lay down for awhile, leaving his wife and her mother to supervise the girls.

My ex's wife wouldn't actually get in the water with the girls, because she just found out she's pregnant and was afraid there was 'too much bacteria in the water', and her mother has MS and 'can barely walk'. So, I'm wondering who, exactly would have rescued the children if they'd gotten into serious trouble, not to mention the fact that if there's bacteria in the water that's THAT scary, what were my kids doing in it????

Anyway, my oldest daughter cut her foot on something in the water. No one knows what. She's got a gash about 4 inches long down the center of the sole of her foot, which required a trip to the emergency room where they superglued it closed.

I really feel like this would not have happened if:

1) The kids had been properly supervised (an adult IN the water with them)
2) The kids had been properly attired (river shoes on their feet)

So, am I just being a momma bear? Neither of the children have ever been injured on my watch (and I was a stay at home mom for 5 years). Yet, it seems like EVERY time they come home from their dad's house, there's an injury or an illness or even something as 'minor' as them being absolutely covered with mosquito bites.
Click to expand...
Remedies: Send daughter with water shoes and bug lotion/spray in her bag for the future. Include sunblock just in case. I send all these things for my children...they have a blast when they get to visit and play at the lake or beach- so instead of trying to change where they go on visits, use this as an opportunity to teach them how to properly protect themselves.
 
CJane

CJane

Senior Member
stealth2 said:
Ya know..... stuff happens. I cut myself swimming in a lake when I was a kid - I think it was a shell, and yeah I had to go to the hospital to get it stitched up. Kids get cuts, scrapes, broken bones, etc all the time - just from being kids. If yours never have on your watch, either you're very lucky or overprotective.

I suspect that if one of the kids was in trouble in the water, stepmom would not have just stood there.
Click to expand...

Well, I'm certainly not overprotective, the kids run around like heathens a lot of the time. And yeah, they get the normal scrapes and bumps and bruises when they're with me. But this is the 3rd emergency room trip on his watch in the past year. That seems more than a little excessive to me.

Mostly, I wanted to know if I was just being excessively irritated by what seems to be happening far more often than it should.
 
CJane

CJane

Senior Member
casa said:
Remedies: Send daughter with water shoes and bug lotion/spray in her bag for the future. Include sunblock just in case. I send all these things for my children...they have a blast when they get to visit and play at the lake or beach- so instead of trying to change where they go on visits, use this as an opportunity to teach them how to properly protect themselves.
Click to expand...
I'm not at all trying to change where they go. The kids are water babies, and spend a HUGE amount of the time that they're with me in the lake or the pool. But it's been a rule (that my ex and I agreed on) since before the kids could even walk, that they wear river shoes if they're in anybody of water that isn't a swimming pool.

And yes, we had a LONG talk about wearing proper clothing in the water (including river shoes). My 8 year old said "I know mom, but dad wouldn't let us call you to get our shoes, and he didn't want to buy any." Grrrrrrr.

Ah well. She'll heal, I suppose, and in the future, maybe his head will spend less time in his a**.
 
stealth2

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Hmmmm in the past few years, I've had my share of ER trips with my kids. Daughter & grandpa went to turn off a fondue pot at the same time - hot oil all over her right hand. Daughter sprained wrist. Daughter sprained finger. Son cut open his heel at my parents' pool. Daughter was thrown from horse. Son cut hand on Scout trip. Those just off the top of my head.

Are they supervised. Yep, they are. Accidents STILL happen. I understand being irritated, but it's life with kids.
 
C

casa

Senior Member
CJane said:
I'm not at all trying to change where they go. The kids are water babies, and spend a HUGE amount of the time that they're with me in the lake or the pool. But it's been a rule (that my ex and I agreed on) since before the kids could even walk, that they wear river shoes if they're in anybody of water that isn't a swimming pool.

And yes, we had a LONG talk about wearing proper clothing in the water (including river shoes). My 8 year old said "I know mom, but dad wouldn't let us call you to get our shoes, and he didn't want to buy any." Grrrrrrr.

Ah well. She'll heal, I suppose, and in the future, maybe his head will spend less time in his a**.
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LOL don't bet on it. :cool:

Like I said, when dealing with a parent who may not be as vigilant as you are, it's easier to just make sure the things they need are packed with them when they go. ;)
 
R

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
My Grand daughter's ages 2 & 5 regularly swim in a pond/lake with my son the 5 yo was bumbed by a fish! :eek: She lived! Ponds/lakes have fish p00p in them
:eek:
Have you ever eaten a sardine?

Send them with water shoes, bug spray, sun block, first aid kit .... and Superglue, thank goodnes for superglue and butterfly bandages!
 
CJane

CJane

Senior Member
rmet4nzkx said:
My Grand daughter's ages 2 & 5 regularly swim in a pond/lake with my son the 5 yo was bumbed by a fish! :eek: She lived! Ponds/lakes have fish p00p in them
:eek:
Have you ever eaten a sardine?

Send them with water shoes, bug spray, sun block, first aid kit .... and Superglue, thank goodnes for superglue and butterfly bandages!
Click to expand...
Dude, where on earth did I say that they shouldn't be in the pond/lake? I said that they do, in fact, spend a TON of time in the lake when they're with me. They're outdoorsy kids, spend almost every weekend camping, ride horses, garden, collect rocks and bones and 'treasures' like it's going out of style.

My issue wasn't and won't be WHERE THEY WERE. My issue is that proper supervison (to me) isn't 2 adults sitting on the dock - 1 who CAN'T get in the water, and 1 who WON'T.
 
stealth2

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Well, this did sort of indicate that you didn't think they should really be in that pond:

not to mention the fact that if there's bacteria in the water that's THAT scary, what were my kids doing in it????
Click to expand...
There are bacteria (as mentioned before) that are more dangerous for pregnant women than for children. My kids often swim in lakes, ponds, POOLS even, while I hang out on the side because I plain don't feel like going swimming. Doesn't mean I wouldn't go in after one if there was a problem.

Honestly, I do think the simple answer is that you're over-reacting on this. Stuff happens, and this isn't "stuff" that's on a level of taking it to court.
 
R

rmet4nzkx

Senior Member
CJane said:
Dude, where on earth did I say that they shouldn't be in the pond/lake? I said that they do, in fact, spend a TON of time in the lake when they're with me. They're outdoorsy kids, spend almost every weekend camping, ride horses, garden, collect rocks and bones and 'treasures' like it's going out of style.

My issue wasn't and won't be WHERE THEY WERE. My issue is that proper supervison (to me) isn't 2 adults sitting on the dock - 1 who CAN'T get in the water, and 1 who WON'T.
Click to expand...
Pleazzzz!
You said "My ex's wife wouldn't actually get in the water with the girls, because she just found out she's pregnant and was afraid there was 'too much bacteria in the water', and her mother has MS and 'can barely walk'. So, I'm wondering who, exactly would have rescued the children if they'd gotten into serious trouble, not to mention the fact that if there's bacteria in the water that's THAT scary, what were my kids doing in it????"

You are overreacting and looking too hard for evidence of what ever your intent.
 
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