alimony support in CA

Ms. Chloe · Sep 17, 2005

What is the name of your state? CA

My friend's wife recently filed a divorce against him. His wife has never worked her entire life. They have been married for 10+ years, with 2 children both in elementary. I hear that in CA that marriage over 10 years, the alimony is for life or remarriage. Can this be changed based on the agreement of the two? Since CA is a community state that all properties must be divided 50/50? Does that include stocks, 401k? what about the house he purchased? It was bought during the marriage but she put nothing towards the mortgage. What is the basic child support he needs to provide? He makes 100% of the money to maintain the family. He has tried getting his wife to pick up a few job skills but she shows zero interest nor willingness. In fact, she blames him for pushing her to pick up a few basic office job skills.

I feel terrible for my friend and unfortunately, he doesn't have the time to consult a lawyer since he is working so hard to support a family of 4.

ceara19 · Sep 17, 2005

Ms. Chloe said:
What is the name of your state? CA

My friend's wife recently filed a divorce against him. His wife has never worked her entire life. They have been married for 10+ years, with 2 children both in elementary. I hear that in CA that marriage over 10 years, the alimony is for life or remarriage. Can this be changed based on the agreement of the two? Since CA is a community state that all properties must be divided 50/50? Does that include stocks, 401k? what about the house he purchased? It was bought during the marriage but she put nothing towards the mortgage. What is the basic child support he needs to provide? He makes 100% of the money to maintain the family. He has tried getting his wife to pick up a few job skills but she shows zero interest nor willingness. In fact, she blames him for pushing her to pick up a few basic office job skills.

I feel terrible for my friend and unfortunately, he doesn't have the time to consult a lawyer since he is working so hard to support a family of 4.

He's going to have to find time to see a lawyer. Even if they come to an agreement on their own, they need to have an attorney review it. Whether or not she worked her entire life has no bearing on property division. Besides, she's been raising 2 kids, that's the hardest job a person could ever have.
One question though, what is your relationship to all of this?

BelizeBreeze · Sep 17, 2005

Ms. Chloe said:
What is the name of your state? CA

My friend's wife recently filed a divorce against him. His wife has never worked her entire life. They have been married for 10+ years, with 2 children both in elementary. I hear that in CA that marriage over 10 years, the alimony is for life or remarriage. Can this be changed based on the agreement of the two? Since CA is a community state that all properties must be divided 50/50? Does that include stocks, 401k? what about the house he purchased? It was bought during the marriage but she put nothing towards the mortgage. What is the basic child support he needs to provide? He makes 100% of the money to maintain the family. He has tried getting his wife to pick up a few job skills but she shows zero interest nor willingness. In fact, she blames him for pushing her to pick up a few basic office job skills.

I feel terrible for my friend and unfortunately, he doesn't have the time to consult a lawyer since he is working so hard to support a family of 4.

First of all, alimony is NOT based on the length of the marriage. It is based in equity. In this case, there is no other option BUT to take time to see an attorney who can weigh all facts and give your friend a valid opinion.

Just so you can tell him, there are two types of alimoney, permanent or rehabilitative. If the wife has the opportunity to rehabilitate herself (in the workforce) then a fixed amount for a fixed timeframe (rehabilitative) can be ordered by the court. If not, then permanent.

If they can come to an agreement before court and if it isn't contrary to state law, (i.e., child support of $1 a month and alimony for 1 day for example) then the court will usually allow such.

Tell your friend to take a few hours to consult with an attorney. If he doesn't he'll be paying for that mistake the rest of his life.

rmet4nzkx · Sep 17, 2005

Your "friend" makes 125k per year, why did you leave that fact out?
Your "friend" needs an attorney, even so he can expect to pay out a big chunck every month for child support and spousal support. She is entitled to 1/2 the marital property and more than likely the marital home while the children are minors. Perhaps if he spent more time with his family and less time working, he might not need a divorce attorney or a "friend" to ask questions for him.
https://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?searchid=729078

Ms. Chloe said:
What is the name of your state? CA

Two child. Wife never worked. Has encouraged her to pick up some job skills but she showed zero interest or willingness. Support the entire family of 4. Income is $125K. What is the minimum CS to my children? Most likely the children will stay with mother. Marriage over 10+ years.

Thanks

ceara19 · Sep 17, 2005

rmet4nzkx said:
Your "friend" makes 125k per year, why did you leave that fact out?
Your "friend" needs an attorney, even so he can expect to pay out a big chunck every month for child support and spousal support. She is entitled to 1/2 the marital property and more than likely the marital home while the children are minors. Perhaps if he spent more time with his family and less time working, he might not need a divorce attorney or a "friend" to ask questions for him.
https://forum.freeadvice.com/search.php?searchid=729078

Finally, someone that saw the big picture here. I replied to both posts and got some angry replies at the other. Sounds like this concerned 'friend' is the new girlfriend. HMMMMM.....maybe that's why mom filed for divorce???

AHA · Sep 17, 2005

Ms. Chloe said:
What is the name of your state? CA

My friend's wife recently filed a divorce against him. His wife has never worked her entire life. They have been married for 10+ years, with 2 children both in elementary. I hear that in CA that marriage over 10 years, the alimony is for life or remarriage. Can this be changed based on the agreement of the two? Since CA is a community state that all properties must be divided 50/50? Does that include stocks, 401k? what about the house he purchased? It was bought during the marriage but she put nothing towards the mortgage. What is the basic child support he needs to provide? He makes 100% of the money to maintain the family. He has tried getting his wife to pick up a few job skills but she shows zero interest nor willingness. In fact, she blames him for pushing her to pick up a few basic office job skills.

I feel terrible for my friend and unfortunately, he doesn't have the time to consult a lawyer since he is working so hard to support a family of 4.

Millions of people support a family of 4, but still find time to make a couple of phone calls to settle their issues!! NO ONE is 100% busy 24/7.

Ms. Chloe · Sep 18, 2005

a friend who cares

I am not his girlfriend. I am a friend of his and his family. There were just too many things that his wife has done or not done that I feel unfair for him. He works hard to provide his family a very good living yet his wife is so naive to think that work is nothing. I think his friends are a lot more supportive to him than his wife.

jackedbyjudge · Sep 18, 2005

BelizeBreeze said:
First of all, alimony is NOT based on the length of the marriage. It is based in equity. In this case, there is no other option BUT to take time to see an attorney who can weigh all facts and give your friend a valid opinion.

Just so you can tell him, there are two types of alimoney, permanent or rehabilitative. If the wife has the opportunity to rehabilitate herself (in the workforce) then a fixed amount for a fixed timeframe (rehabilitative) can be ordered by the court. If not, then permanent.

If they can come to an agreement before court and if it isn't contrary to state law, (i.e., child support of $1 a month and alimony for 1 day for example) then the court will usually allow such.

Tell your friend to take a few hours to consult with an attorney. If he doesn't he'll be paying for that mistake the rest of his life.

alimoney?? by god i figured it right!! you are an attorney and you sound like a darned good one too

if the duration of the marriage isn't a factor in determining alimony, then why do most states (i believe california is one) include it as a consideration for the courts determination?

i think it's so the judge can tack on a higher amount for every year that she was married to the wife beating, insensitive, cheating drunk

boy don't you just love the way some of these replies jump to that conclusion??

OP: if he doesn't have a good attorney he is "jacked"

Ms. Chloe · Sep 18, 2005

BelizeBreeze said:
First of all, alimony is NOT based on the length of the marriage. It is based in equity. In this case, there is no other option BUT to take time to see an attorney who can weigh all facts and give your friend a valid opinion.

Just so you can tell him, there are two types of alimoney, permanent or rehabilitative. If the wife has the opportunity to rehabilitate herself (in the workforce) then a fixed amount for a fixed timeframe (rehabilitative) can be ordered by the court. If not, then permanent.

If they can come to an agreement before court and if it isn't contrary to state law, (i.e., child support of $1 a month and alimony for 1 day for example) then the court will usually allow such.

Tell your friend to take a few hours to consult with an attorney. If he doesn't he'll be paying for that mistake the rest of his life.

Thank you for the advice. At least there are a few who are objective rather than subjective. I posted the child support in my other thread and has been attacked personally. People there are making so many subjective comments, not to mention making ignorant assumptions about my relation with my friend. There are only a handful of friends that I will go beyond for them. He is one of them. I know he would do the same for me if I was ever stuck in a terrible situation like this. That is my definition of true friend.

ceara19 · Sep 18, 2005

jackedbyjudge said:
OP: if he doesn't have a good attorney he is "jacked"

I don't think he'll have to worry about this....$125K a year can buy him a really good attorney, possibly one good enough to get him out of being responsible for anything!

jackedbyjudge · Sep 18, 2005

ceara19 said:
I don't think he'll have to worry about this....$125K a year can buy him a really good attorney, possibly one good enough to get him out of being responsible for anything!

that's just the way things are darling....if he doesn't get a good attorney, he'll have to moonlight to pay his taxes, while his Ex is out opening accounts (funded with court awarded money coming out of his earnings) in different banks to stay under the federally mandated maximum insurance

ceara19 · Sep 18, 2005

jackedbyjudge said:
that's just the way things are darling....if he doesn't get a good attorney, he'll have to moonlight to pay his taxes, while his Ex is out opening accounts (funded with court awarded money coming out of his earnings) in different banks to stay under the federally mandated maximum insurance

It's a 2-way street. The party with the best lawyer usually wins. Most of the time the one with the most money gets the best lawyer. What I'm saying is that since he makes $125K a year he can afford one. As a matter of fact since the wife isn't working, he can hire a great attorney and screw her & the kids out of EVERYTHING!

Ms. Chloe · Sep 18, 2005

Can we please stop making subjective comments here? I think my friend just needs some good advice and a lawyer by referral. No one here is going to screw another person's life or lives here.

Thank you.

ceara19 · Sep 18, 2005

Ms. Chloe said:
Can we please stop making subjective comments here? I think my friend just needs some good advice and a lawyer by referral. No one here is going to screw another person's life or lives here.

Thank you.

My last comment was not in any way directed towards you or your situation. jackedbyjudge appears to be a very bitter, spiteful person and my remark was directed to and only meant for HIM. It is in, no way my opinion that any person should try to find a way around what the LAW ALLOWS, either way.

Ms. Chloe · Sep 19, 2005

ceara19 said:
My last comment was not in any way directed towards you or your situation. jackedbyjudge appears to be a very bitter, spiteful person and my remark was directed to and only meant for HIM. It is in, no way my opinion that any person should try to find a way around what the LAW ALLOWS, either way.

My comment was addressed to everyone so it was never meant to target you at all. Jackedbyjudge appears to be somewhat bitter in this thread as well as other threads.

Again, my posting was at the request of my friend here. He is seeking advices from those who have personally experienced similar situation to his. In addition, if any lawyers people can refer him to is much appreciated. He is located in the bay area in CA.

Thank you.

alimony support in CA

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