Witnesses in visitation case PLZ HELP!

What is the name of your state? Ohio

My X and I have been disputing visitation for several years now. He has had some trouble making up his mind if he even wanted it. He had supervised visits for a long time, then I agreed to let him have standard visits because I had thought he'd grown up. I found out my son was being abused by his step brother who is only in kindergarten(5mo. older than my son) and also that my son was being physically punished by his step mother which has already been an issue and she was told it was innapropriate by the judge at our last hearing. These are only a few of the problems I have had with their visits. I recently filed a motion to modify visitation. They subpeonaed my aunt and a mutual friend to go to court. My question is, since this is a visitation case, not a custody case and I have physical custody of my son, can they use a witness to testify against me or to question my parenting or lifestyle? I really can't think of anything they can use against me, but court just has a way of making even the most innocent people feel nervous. From what I understand, the only thing they can use a witness for is to testify that they are good parents and that my allegations are not true. Am I right? The witnesses they supeonaed are going to testify that he uses drugs in the presence of their children, including my son, that he has been left in a vehicle alone even in 80 degree weather and also that they use their children to shoplift. My sons councelor told me that my son told him that his stepmother locks him in the bathroom when he has an accident, which he has quite frequently since he started visiting there, and also that his dad cusses at him and tells him he's going to take him home and never come and get him again if he's not good. Do I really have anything to worry about? The thing is, I had a friend who was coming to my house nearly every day. My x told me that this man was a sex offender so I looked it up on the computer and he was right. I have not allowed this man in my home or around my children ever since, and he was never alone with my children in the first place. Can my x still use this against me? I really don't think he can question me about my parenting or home life when he is the one trying to get visitation. PLZ give me an answer soon! I have court next week.What is the name of your state?

Yes, he can call witnesses to tesstify AGAINST you if they have information relevent to the case at hand.

You will have to PROVE your allegations. "My son told me such and such happened" is NOT proof.

Allowing a registered sex offender can be used against you in court. The judge is not likely to overlook it just because you didn't know. Ignorance is not an excuse for bad judgement. If you immediately cut off contact with the person upon discovering his past, that could work to your advantage.

He has just as much right to question YOUR parenting abilities and lifestyle as you do his.

The witnesses he supeonaed are going to testify against him about several of my allegations. Is that proof enough? They were present when some of these things happend and he told them himself that his stepson did innapropriate things to my son and they continued to be unsupervised. They will testify to that as well. Also, my son has told his counselor a lot of alarming things about his visits with his father and it was her who suggested I try to get supervised visits again. Do you think it would help if I supeona her?

xxnatalixx said:

The witnesses he supeonaed are going to testify against him about several of my allegations.

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How stupid can someone be... oh, nevermind, don't answer that... we are talking about a drug user who uses intimidation to control behavior. By the way, what kind of threat is "I will never pick you up again" from a person like this?

What ever he thinks he is doing bringing your relatives into this, it is likely to backfire.

Hang in there! And good luck!

xxnatalixx said:

The witnesses he supeonaed are going to testify against him about several of my allegations. Is that proof enough? They were present when some of these things happend and he told them himself that his stepson did innapropriate things to my son and they continued to be unsupervised. They will testify to that as well. Also, my son has told his counselor a lot of alarming things about his visits with his father and it was her who suggested I try to get supervised visits again. Do you think it would help if I supeona her?

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Why is it that he would supeona witnesses to testify AGAINST him? Normally, you call witnesses that can either testify FOR you or AGAINST the other party.

Anyway, no matter WHO testifies, they can only testify about events that they actually WITNESSED. Testifying that dad TOLD them or the child TOLD them is hearsay.

The counselor may or may not be able to testify. What type of couselor is she? What are her credentials? The first thing dad's lawyer will do is try to block the testimony. Probably by claiming that either she is not qualified as an expert issue based on her credentials or that the information she has to offer is protected by doctor/patient confidentiality.

ceara19 said:

Why is it that he would supeona witnesses to testify AGAINST him? Normally, you call witnesses that can either testify FOR you or AGAINST the other party.

Anyway, no matter WHO testifies, they can only testify about events that they actually WITNESSED. Testifying that dad TOLD them or the child TOLD them is hearsay.

The counselor may or may not be able to testify. What type of couselor is she? What are her credentials? The first thing dad's lawyer will do is try to block the testimony. Probably by claiming that either she is not qualified as an expert issue based on her credentials or that the information she has to offer is protected by doctor/patient confidentiality.

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WRONG on this Ceara. Testifying what DAD said is not hearsay because dad is a party to the action. Dad's statements ARE admissible as statements of a party opponent provided they don't fall under double hearsay or some such thing.

ceara19 said:

Why is it that he would supeona witnesses to testify AGAINST him? Normally, you call witnesses that can either testify FOR you or AGAINST the other party.

Anyway, no matter WHO testifies, they can only testify about events that they actually WITNESSED. Testifying that dad TOLD them or the child TOLD them is hearsay.

The counselor may or may not be able to testify. What type of couselor is she? What are her credentials? The first thing dad's lawyer will do is try to block the testimony. Probably by claiming that either she is not qualified as an expert issue based on her credentials or that the information she has to offer is protected by doctor/patient confidentiality.

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It would be hearsay to testify what the child told them. It would NOT be hearsay to testify about what DAD told them. Dad will be present in the courtroom to testify himself.

My aunt was seeing my x's brother, so maybe he thought she would lie for him or something. She simply told me to be thinking about what I want to ask her because she has seen all kinds of things that would help me but won't just straight out tell me what. I did ask her if she was there while he was using drugs in the same house as the children. She said he was not in the same room while he was doing it, but the children were in the room afterwards and he was around the kids while under the influence. Also, she took me to pick my son up one day during the summer and my son was outside in the van sleeping by himself. He was 4 then. They said he fell asleep on the way home from the water park and they did not want to wake him. It was 80 some degrees out. I have seen my son's step mother smack him in the head, and no, it was not very hard but still. I've seen her smack her own daughter to the point where she fell over. Can I testify to things I've seen her do to other children or only my own? I'm trying not to be too worried because the Judge knows us both by now and when I had an attorney before(neither one of us has one now) the judge told my attorney he was very unimressed with my x. Last year my x went to court and said he wanted to give up all his rights but found out he can't because I have no husband to adopt him and when he found out he still had to pay child support he said he wanted to see him again and I told him he didn't have visitation anymore so he filed contempt charges against me. So, the judge is about as fed up with him as I am. We go to court once or twice a year. Oh yeah, and since I have a witness to his drug use around the children is that alone enough to get the visits supervised again? Is it possible to ask for him to be tested for drugs? Any advice will help. Thanks!

thefid said:

How stupid can someone be... oh, nevermind, don't answer that... we are talking about a drug user who uses intimidation to control behavior. By the way, what kind of threat is "I will never pick you up again" from a person like this?

What ever he thinks he is doing bringing your relatives into this, it is likely to backfire.

Hang in there! And good luck!

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Not much considering I had to peel my son off the back door and send him kicking and screaming the last few times he went. I quit sending him unitl we go to court. Even on Christmas I tried to sound very excited about him going and told him about all the presents he was going to go open and he said he had enough at home and did not want anymore. This is coming from a 5 year old. Tell me that's not a red flag! Also, when they did take him on Christmas we agreed he would bring him home at 6:00 and he refused to bring him home until I called the police and they called him and told him he had to. My son misses him now though and wants to see him, but his dad has already told me and the judge he will not do supervised visits again, he'd rather just not see him. He's dumb enough to say this in court, is that going to help my case?

xxnatalixx said:

Not much considering I had to peel my son off the back door and send him kicking and screaming the last few times he went. I quit sending him unitl we go to court. Even on Christmas I tried to sound very excited about him going and told him about all the presents he was going to go open and he said he had enough at home and did not want anymore. This is coming from a 5 year old. Tell me that's not a red flag! Also, when they did take him on Christmas we agreed he would bring him home at 6:00 and he refused to bring him home until I called the police and they called him and told him he had to. My son misses him now though and wants to see him, but his dad has already told me and the judge he will not do supervised visits again, he'd rather just not see him. He's dumb enough to say this in court, is that going to help my case?

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I had to physically carry my 11 year old out to her car (my ex) a couple weeks ago. I know how difficult it is to go against the wishes of my child. You know as well as I that refusing to go is not the first red flag but symptoms of a bigger issue of neglect or abuse in some form.

If he mentioned he does not want supervised visits in front of the judge and the judge is convinced it is not safe to grant unsupervised visits, then I doubt his words will be taken for anything. I could be wrong, but from my understanding, few cases will ever do away with visitation altogether. The judge will probably grant supervised, then leave it up to the father to neglect his responsibilities. I don't think a judge would want to be held responsible for severing parental rights without a difinitive reason, even with what you have, I doubt that will happen.

You should NOT have quit sending him. The judge is NOT going to be happy about that regardless of your reasons. Ohio judges will look at that as major contempt which may be enough to give custody to dad. He hasnt' gone since DECEMBER? Four months of contempt? Dear, your attorney if you have one must be totally ticked. There are ways of doing this -- asking for a temporary suspension of the visitation order through the court. But you can't do what you did. That is INTERFERENCE WITH PARENTAL RIGHTS/CUSTODY! This is ONE of the factors that can cause a judge to remove you as the custodial parent. YOu need to do something to remedy this. You do NOT have the right to quit sending your child in violation of a court order.
If he is going for full custody or an increase in visitation -- unless you can PROVE he is doing something illegal or is unfit -- and you better have a TON of proof to show that -- he will get MORE visitation or even custody. Ohio does that.

My x hasn't even botherd to file contempt charges against me. He has done that 5 times in the past few years and the judge always said I had good reason for not sending him and said it was an unwilfull contempt. My x had to pay all court cost. He is not trying to get custody. I filed the motion to modify to get the visits supervised again. They were supervised last year and I agreed to do build up visits until he had standard visits becasue I really wanted my son to have a good relationship with his father. He has made such an ass of himself in front of the judge and even his wife sat in the court room and rolled her eyes and made nasty faces at the judge until he threatend to put her in jail for the night. This judge has seen us soo many times that when I see him on the street somewhere he calls me by name. I do have proof and witnesses, but honesty he's just stupid enough to admit to anything I say as long as it's true. He is truely ignorant and does not see that what he is doing is wrong.

xxnatalixx said:

My x hasn't even botherd to file contempt charges against me. He has done that 5 times in the past few years and the judge always said I had good reason for not sending him and said it was an unwilfull contempt. My x had to pay all court cost. He is not trying to get custody. I filed the motion to modify to get the visits supervised again. They were supervised last year and I agreed to do build up visits until he had standard visits becasue I really wanted my son to have a good relationship with his father. He has made such an ass of himself in front of the judge and even his wife sat in the court room and rolled her eyes and made nasty faces at the judge until he threatend to put her in jail for the night. This judge has seen us soo many times that when I see him on the street somewhere he calls me by name. I do have proof and witnesses, but honesty he's just stupid enough to admit to anything I say as long as it's true. He is truely ignorant and does not see that what he is doing is wrong.

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You still NEED to go about this legally and not just decide to not send him.

xxnatalixx said:

My x hasn't even botherd to file contempt charges against me. He has done that 5 times in the past few years and the judge always said I had good reason for not sending him and said it was an unwilfull contempt. My x had to pay all court cost. He is not trying to get custody. I filed the motion to modify to get the visits supervised again. They were supervised last year and I agreed to do build up visits until he had standard visits becasue I really wanted my son to have a good relationship with his father. He has made such an ass of himself in front of the judge and even his wife sat in the court room and rolled her eyes and made nasty faces at the judge until he threatend to put her in jail for the night. This judge has seen us soo many times that when I see him on the street somewhere he calls me by name. I do have proof and witnesses, but honesty he's just stupid enough to admit to anything I say as long as it's true. He is truely ignorant and does not see that what he is doing is wrong.

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First issue: The judge should recuse himself. PERIOD.

Second issue: your Aunt telling the court she was in one room and he in another 'doing drugs' is not going to be admissible. Unless she actually saw him do the drugs, or is a qualified expert in the detection of drug usage her testimony is heresay.

Third issue: The court can, upon it's own motion, change custody and/or visitation. Your ex does not have to file a specific motion for the discretion of the court to come into play.

Fourth issue: Violating the existing court order has weakened any case you may have brought.

Fifth issue: Your posts are not consistent. In one you say you filed recently to modify visitation and in another you say " since he doesn't have visitation anymore..". your credibility is now in question.

sixth issue: Your judgement, based on the sex offender, will NOT go away. it is not an issue of the children being alone with the offender but your lack of judgement and exercise of such.

Well, here's the thing, how can I continue to send him knowing that he is being sexualy abused. My x told me that himself. Also, my Aunt did witness him doing the drugs, my son and the other children were in the other room. I didn't mean that leagally he doesn't have visitation I meant since my son wasn't going there right now. I was not going to just quit sending him until I took him to the doctor and counselor and they told me I was neglecting him if I continued to send him knowing he was being abused. His step mother smacks him and no, I don't mean just spanking him and locks him in the bathroom when he has an accident and her son pinches his penis to the point where he comes home bruised. I even have a doctors report about that. They will not keep him supervised or away from this other kid, all they do is tell him not to do it. They will go in Walmart and leave the kids who are only 5, 5, and 4 in the car the whole time. As far as I'm concerned, it's an emergency and I honestly didn't know how else to go about keeping him safe. His dad does not even really want visitation. He told me himself he only does it to keep his wife from yelling at him and I'm sure if I asked him about it in court he would even tell the judge. I don't mean for it to sound like I think it's no big deal that I quit sending him. It makes me a nervous wreck, but I am really scared for my son's saftey. What else could I have done? I didn't know there was anything else I could file.