100 Mile Leash Law

[BelizeBreeze]

If you're not divorced, you've never been through ANYTHING like what I'm going through, and I really don't want your advice.

Jesus. I hate it when people are so self-riteous.

I came on here because I wanted to know if anyone had been through an experience like mine. What I get is high & mighty martyrs who have never been where I am and have no idea what they're talking about.

I refuse to believe that wanting to be happy is a bad thing. Yes, I want to be happy! Is that so bad? I want my kids to be happy! I want my future husband to be happy! My ex? Eh, not my concern.

All I wanted to know was whether the 100 mile leash is a binding rule.

And I refuse to believe that making myself miserable is the best thing for my kids. Come on, people! How happy can kids be living with miserable parents?
This is like the mom that stays with the cheating husband for the kids. A good idea?
Umm. NO! Not in my opinion.

Instead of playing the 'poor me' card, there is a very easy solution to your problem so that you will never be faced with the restrictions placed on you by such an order.

Petition the court to change custody and you take on the non-custodial parent role.

Now, that was easy wasn't it?

 

[ceara19]

I AM divorced. I also have 2 kids with my exhusband. I'm not being self rightous AT ALL. But it DOES piss me off when mothers have no concern for the kids being able to have a good relationship with dad. YOU said yourself that he is a GOOD father.

I'd give anything for my kids to have a HALF WAY DECENT father. I'm not even asking for a GOOD one. I'd bend over backwards to make sure that they could see dad whenever they wanted. Instead, they got stuck with a father that chooses to ignore the fact that they were even born so that HE could "move on with" HIS life and "be happy". Kinda like what YOU want.

Just because you think the ex was a mistake on your part and you NOW have someone new and the chance to have the "perfect family" that you WANTED, is no excuse for trying to push out a father that LOVES and WANTS a relationship with his kids. If you want to move on with your life with the new hubby and live happily ever after half way around the world, you're free to do so, but you don't have the right to take your ex husband's kids with you.

 

[ceara19]

Actually, she is not required to put the children's father ahead of her new man. She is required to follow the CO.

If you are moving, notify the court and the ex, like it states in your order. If he wants to fight you in court, he has every right to do that. But you need to follow the CO and go ahead in a legal manner, not an emotional one.

I beleive everyone here is trying to point out that it will be hard to show the court how this will be in your CHILDRENS best interest to move. You can, however, try to prove it.
Everyone here is trying to explain to you that this is difficult, and they are making points your ex's attorney will throw at you. So, eveything they are telling you that is irrelevant (your new hubby's future, your job, etc.) you may not want to bring up as your REASON. Fair or not, that is the court system.

You really never know how the judge is going to decide, but since you have not disrupted or tried to limit the childrens relationship with their father, you may have a shot, thoguh it may be small. It is up to you to pursue.

I would notify the court and ex, see what he is willing to do as far as taking you to court. Then you may be able to make a more informed decision on how to proceed for yourself and your kids.

Just my 2 cents

One of the biggest reasons that the judge won't see the move as being in the children's best interest is because evem IF she claims that it won't affect the relationship with dad and that she will make sure that the visitation continues as it is now, most judges have heard the same excuse many times before. Most have even made the mistake of believing it the first few times they heard it. But they all catch on at some point that a parent will say anything in court in order to get their way. Fast forward a few months down the road and suddenly the parent that made all of the promises is now claiming that it's just too much of a burden for THEM to be expected to carry all of the added expense and inconvienience of following the original order now that they live so far apart. They will b*tch and moan that the other parent isn't doing ANYTHING at all to help or cooperate or make it easier for THEM.

A parent may go into court with only the best intentions in mand at the time. But the judge is already very well aware of the old saying about the road to hell and isn't likely to see things in the same way as the parent.

 

[nicetryadmin]

If you're not divorced, you've never been through ANYTHING like what I'm going through, and I really don't want your advice.

Jesus. I hate it when people are so self-riteous.

I came on here because I wanted to know if anyone had been through an experience like mine. What I get is high & mighty martyrs who have never been where I am and have no idea what they're talking about.

I refuse to believe that wanting to be happy is a bad thing. Yes, I want to be happy! Is that so bad? I want my kids to be happy! I want my future husband to be happy! My ex? Eh, not my concern.

All I wanted to know was whether the 100 mile leash is a binding rule.

And I refuse to believe that making myself miserable is the best thing for my kids. Come on, people! How happy can kids be living with miserable parents?
This is like the mom that stays with the cheating husband for the kids. A good idea?
Umm. NO! Not in my opinion.

Oh, boo-freaking-hoo!! Like you're the ONLY woman in the world to allegedly go through what you have. For chrissakes...send your story to Lifetime. I hear they're looking for fodder for movies of the week.

Here's a simple solution to your problem:

- you relinquish residential custody to dad. He becomes residential parent, with you having visitation.

- you then pay him child support

- you BOTH remain joint legal custodians.

- YOU can now move on with your life and with dad being primary residential, the child is no longer holding you back (because that is essentially what your issue is here...the child holding you back).

 

[Zephyr]

Are you people serious? Are you suggesting that I put my ex-husband's wishes ahead of my current (future) husband's? I never once suggested that I would prevent the children from seeing their father. I would never do that. However, I refuse to believe that it's in ANYBODY'S best interest for him to expect me to live in the same town in the same house with the same job and same financial rut because it's best for him.
At what point after a divorce, in your opinion, am I allowed to live for myself? At what point is it okay for me to expect to be able to live my life as I see fit, not what's most convenient for my ex-husband?
My children have never been deprived a relationship with their father and that's not what I'm suggesting.
I'm appalled that there are people out there that would honestly expect me to put my ex-husband before my current husband. No wonder you're all divorced.

And the best interest of the children is to be more financially secure, in a better school, in a family that is happy, not perpetually trapped.

And just so you know, the ex husband? Left me and the kids on Christmas Eve to go be with his new girlfriend. Yeah, what a noble guy. So worthy of your support.

just so you know- most of the people here are NOT in support of one parent or the other- rather, they support what is best for the child- the best thing for children is to have a close and loving relationship with both parents, how he left you is of no concern.

 

[bononos]

If you're not divorced, you've never been through ANYTHING like what I'm going through, and I really don't want your advice.

Jesus. I hate it when people are so self-riteous.

I came on here because I wanted to know if anyone had been through an experience like mine. What I get is high & mighty martyrs who have never been where I am and have no idea what they're talking about.

I refuse to believe that wanting to be happy is a bad thing. Yes, I want to be happy! Is that so bad? I want my kids to be happy! I want my future husband to be happy! My ex? Eh, not my concern.

All I wanted to know was whether the 100 mile leash is a binding rule.

And I refuse to believe that making myself miserable is the best thing for my kids. Come on, people! How happy can kids be living with miserable parents?
This is like the mom that stays with the cheating husband for the kids. A good idea?
Umm. NO! Not in my opinion.

I...I...I...
Me...Me...Me...

I am divorced from the cheating husband.
I hate him more than life itself.
But, still stay living within minutes of him.
If your kids are unhappy because YOUR miserable, that's YOUR fault.
And, by the way, don't you think Dad will be miserable should you move the kids away??????
YOU are being selfish to the kids and to their Father.

 

[ceara19]

Oh, boo-freaking-hoo!! Like you're the ONLY woman in the world to allegedly go through what you have. For chrissakes...send your story to Lifetime. I hear they're looking for fodder for movies of the week.

Here's a simple solution to your problem:

- you relinquish residential custody to dad. He becomes residential parent, with you having visitation.

- you then pay him child support

- you BOTH remain joint legal custodians.

- YOU can now move on with your life and with dad being primary residential, the child is no longer holding you back (because that is essentially what your issue is here...the child holding you back).

Even Lifetime's sick of hearing this same story over and over.

 

[BadDecision]

One of the biggest reasons that the judge won't see the move as being in the children's best interest is because evem IF she claims that it won't affect the relationship with dad and that she will make sure that the visitation continues as it is now, most judges have heard the same excuse many times before. Most have even made the mistake of believing it the first few times they heard it. But they all catch on at some point that a parent will say anything in court in order to get their way. Fast forward a few months down the road and suddenly the parent that made all of the promises is now claiming that it's just too much of a burden for THEM to be expected to carry all of the added expense and inconvienience of following the original order now that they live so far apart. They will b*tch and moan that the other parent isn't doing ANYTHING at all to help or cooperate or make it easier for THEM.

A parent may go into court with only the best intentions in mand at the time. But the judge is already very well aware of the old saying about the road to hell and isn't likely to see things in the same way as the parent.

Yes, but I do not believe this is always the case. Plus dad is the one who moved far away to begin with, so how importatnt is his relationship with his children?

He may be handing out empty threats as well, just to try and inhibit mom's happiness, nothing to do with the kids. Both sides have motive for misleading the court.

I do not agree that parents should just pick up and move the kids and harm relationships with the other parent, but she has the right to notify court and ex about the move, and see how it plays out.

I wanted to point out to op that everyone here is giving her the other point of view (the one most don't consider), the reasons it will be difficult to prove in court. But she has every right to try.

Also, if she is granted the move, and does not follow through on the new CO, ex can file contempt and they can start the battle all over again.

Who knows, he may not even fight the move in the end anyway.

 

[Bethany]

Freeway Miles

Where I am considering going to, it would be freeway miles.
My fiance is willing to commute to this new job, however..
We would both like to move closer if that's possible.
If it comes down to moving or losing my kids, I'll stay right here until they're off to college.

Hating my ex-husband the entire time for stopping me from moving on with my life.

Giving up physical custody is not an option.

And again, if you're not divorced, or a parent, then you're not anybody I was eliciting advice from in the first place. After all, the forum is about visitaion and child custody.

This tiny little town is a trap in itself. I want my kids to know that there are other options for them. I want them to see that you don't have to stay in one place your entire life.

My kids are not holding me back. I don't even know if my ex-husband would attempt to hold me back. I'm simply trying to prepare myself for any even that may come up.

My kids' dad has never sought physical custody. He has, however, shown me several times that he has no intention of letting me move on with my life, here or anywhere, without his interference. My own personal life, not having to do with the kids.

Fact is: I have to follow the court order. So does my ex.

Some support forum. I came on here and asked a question. Immediately I was attacked by self-riteous martyrs and people who seem to just want to be mean.

Hey, sorry if your ex is a crappy dad. Sorry if your kids don't live with you. Sorry for you. That sucks.

 

[Ithildriel]

Listen Pinhead

Sorry Bethany, but when you decide to post your question on an internet forum that anyone with an e-mail address can post on, you don't get to pick and choose who responds to your post.

Neener neener neener...

 

[ceara19]

I don't know how it is you confused this site, that offers legal ADVICE, for a support site. If you want sympathy and support call mommy. It's also not a requirement to be a spouse or a parent in order to know what the LAWS are concerning custody and visitation matters.

I also don't want any sympathy from anyone, especially YOU. I married my ex, I had children with him. Now I have to live with the consequences whether I LIKE it or not. Just as you have to live with the choices YOU made. I don't expect you to appologize to me for the fact that my ex is a lousy father anymore then you should expect me to appologize to YOU for being a selfish mother only concerned with her OWN happiness, instead of what's best for the children that she chose to bring into the world.

 

[Bethany]

Hmm. Legal advice.
This must be why I'm getting attacked for even entertaining the idea of moving!
Legal advice. This must mean you're all lawyers, then, right?
All I wanted to know is what legal recourse he may have to prevent me from moving.
And this is what I've come up with:
After going through all the legal motions to notify him and the courts that I intend to move, he may well protest.
His legal right.
Also, I have a legal right to attempt to prove to the court that the move would be beneficial for the children.
The judge would then decide the outcome.

I am really beginning to think, after reading some other posts and responses, that this site is nothing more than a platform for harrassment!
I also don't believe, after reading more on this site, that everybody has children's best interests at heart. Some of the stuff I read on here was really unbelievable.

But, I do have to concede to Ithildriel's point.

 

[BadDecision]

Hmm. Legal advice.
This must be why I'm getting attacked for even entertaining the idea of moving!
Legal advice. This must mean you're all lawyers, then, right?
All I wanted to know is what legal recourse he may have to prevent me from moving.
And this is what I've come up with:
After going through all the legal motions to notify him and the courts that I intend to move, he may well protest.
His legal right.
Also, I have a legal right to attempt to prove to the court that the move would be beneficial for the children.
The judge would then decide the outcome.

I am really beginning to think, after reading some other posts and responses, that this site is nothing more than a platform for harrassment!
I also don't believe, after reading more on this site, that everybody has children's best interests at heart. Some of the stuff I read on here was really unbelievable.

But, I do have to concede to Ithildriel's point.

Yes... read previous posts on this exact same thing. Everyone gets attacked that asks this question. But, there has been many questions about the same thing you are asking. Search through those posts. Try to weed through the personal comments to find the alternate point of view. It can be helpful, just don't take it personally.

Also, I suggest a consult with an attorney in your area. This is a very common question/situation and a local attorney can better answer your questions about your chances, and what is likely to happen should you try to move.

One more thing... very important... close/lock this thread so it doesn't go on and on and on

 

[Bethany]

Closing the Post

I've just joined this site today, and I don't know what you mean by locking or closing the post. Could you explain further?
Thanks.

 

[BadDecision]

I've just joined this site today, and I don't know what you mean by locking or closing the post. Could you explain further?
Thanks.

You can close it or delete (so that no one can post on this thread anymore) It helps the thread from becoming a MONSTER

If you look at the top of the thread while viewing, there is an option "Thread Tools"

Click on that and you can close it or delete it...