13 year old in trouble for receiving topless photo of classmate

[Ohiogal]

I'm in Southern California. Everything is OK. It turns out the other boy did not send the photo on to anyone else. The girl herself is responsible for the mass distribution, although knowing the circumstances I don't believe that is what she intended. It is all very unfortunate, and I do not envy her parents right now. I guess the girl is mortified. A very hard lesson learned today. But, I am changing my son's phone plan - he will not be able to send or receive any media of any sort.
Even though he didn't make any excuses, I don't want him receiving anymore of these, I can't be sure he will do the right thing, at least not at thirteen. Thank you.

You are in the same spot as the girl's parents. Are you embarrassed? Are you mortified? Your son is guilty as well. THis may not be over. And changing his cell phone plan won't do much if you don't have an in depth conversation with him about distributing child porn, pornography and sex crimes as well as sex itself.

And within two hours, the school decided to break the law and not follow through on mandated reporting and told you the outcome of the other girl as well as your son and tied everything up in a little bow"?

 

[Proserpina]

I'm astonished.

Are we really to believe that the OP didn't know that sending/keeping photos of a half-naked 13 year old was wrong?

 

[Ohiogal]

I'm astonished.

Are we really to believe that the OP didn't know that sending/keeping photos of a half-naked 13 year old was wrong?

Notice how she criticizes the girl's parents and the girl? Her little angel did nothing wrong but made a mistake and why is everyone picking on him? And the school within a total of two hours communicated this to her and then resolved the entire investigation? Are we to believe this actually happened and was resolve that quickly and the school would just totally ignore the law in this situation?

 

[CdwJava]

It has been my experience that schools tend to report anything even SMELLING of sexual abuse! Even rumors!

But, I have also seen schools fail to act out of ignorance or perceived self-interest, so I cannot discount the possibility that the school never did report it. But, if they did, they might not tell junior's mom about it.

 

[ajkroy]

Speaking as a teacher, it isn't just the school who would have had to decide not to report, it would have to be each and every individual mandated reporter involved themselves. I know that if my school gave me some party line about "keeping this to ourselves"...I might have nodded agreement, but gone home and reported it anyway.

This doesn't smell right to me, but I teach in Mass, so what the heck do I know about California?

 

[stealth2]

Notice how she criticizes the girl's parents and the girl? Her little angel did nothing wrong but made a mistake and why is everyone picking on him? And the school within a total of two hours communicated this to her and then resolved the entire investigation? Are we to believe this actually happened and was resolve that quickly and the school would just totally ignore the law in this situation?

Oh come on.... Boys will be boys - every adolescent's wet dream - a pic of a naked female classmate on his phone to... well you know... to. So much easier than buying/stashing Playboy. SHE should be the one ashamed.

/sarcasm

 

[Ohiogal]

Oh come on.... Boys will be boys - every adolescent's wet dream - a pic of a naked female classmate on his phone to... well you know... to. So much easier than buying/stashing Playboy. SHE should be the one ashamed.

/sarcasm

I get your sarcasm but sadly I can see some parents excusing it for that very reason.

 

[RRevak]

By not reporting it, they are breaking the law. Schools are MANDATED to report this type of stuff. MANDATED.

Yes i'm well aware of this fact which is the reason we are speaking to an attorney to see what the best course of action is. Since its a charter school, i'm not sure if its the school board that accepts the complaint or some other governing entity. While i'm unable to divulge too much on the public internet since this is ongoing, I can say that measures are being taken by us to ensure they become WELL aware of how mandated reporting is supposed to work for any future incidences.

 

[Ladyback1]

I'm in Southern California. Everything is OK. It turns out the other boy did not send the photo on to anyone else. The girl herself is responsible for the mass distribution, although knowing the circumstances I don't believe that is what she intended. It is all very unfortunate, and I do not envy her parents right now. I guess the girl is mortified. A very hard lesson learned today. But, I am changing my son's phone plan - he will not be able to send or receive any media of any sort.
Even though he didn't make any excuses, I don't want him receiving anymore of these, I can't be sure he will do the right thing, at least not at thirteen. Thank you.

First of all: Do you live under a rock? Not knowing about sending/receiving pornographic pictures? Geez...must be a big rock!

Second of all: There is no way the school should have told you anything about the other students involved. NONE! That is a huge breach of privacy/confidentiality.

And finally: Sounds to me like some 13 y/o aren't ready for the responsibility of owning a cell phone. If you can't be sure he will do the right thing in these kind of situations, I have serious doubts about whether he should be allowed access to any electronic device without close supervision.

 

[Zigner]

This doesn't smell right to me, but I teach in Mass, so what the heck do I know about California?

When my daughter was young...oh, first or second grade...he teacher was reading a story to the class about a boy that was being spanked with a belt. My daughter, in the middle of the group of kids, was nodding (in understanding of the story.) The teacher felt the need to report it, so we had a nice visit from CPS within a day or two. Of course, the report was filed as "unfounded" - but it shows how sensitive to their duties some teachers can be.

 

[justalayman]

Yes, I have. What I didn't know is that a 13 year old girl who sends a photo of herself to a 13 year old boy could end up having to register as a sex offender for the rest of her life. I also didn't know the boy she sent it to could also.

she would be guilty of distributing child pornography, even if the pic was of her. He would not be guilty of anything if all that happened was that she sent it to him, unsolicited and unknowing what it was, as long as he deleted it from his phone asap. Once he retained it, he was guilty of possession of child porn. Once he sent it to anybody, he was guilty of distributing child porn.


he needs a lawyer and he needs to talk to nobody, including you, about the issue without his lawyer approving the discussion.

 

[Just Blue]

Yes, I have. What I didn't know is that a 13 year old girl who sends a photo of herself to a 13 year old boy could end up having to register as a sex offender for the rest of her life. I also didn't know the boy she sent it to could also.

Think the problem with your child started with him sending the child porn to others. This has been discussed MANY times in the National News.

 

[Ohiogal]

Think the problem with your child started with him sending the child porn to others. This has been discussed MANY times in the National News.

The problem with her child started BEFORE then. Like -- when she didn't talk to him about sex, the age of consent, pornography and what is illegal.

 

[Proserpina]

I'm in Southern California. Everything is OK. It turns out the other boy did not send the photo on to anyone else. The girl herself is responsible for the mass distribution, although knowing the circumstances I don't believe that is what she intended. It is all very unfortunate, and I do not envy her parents right now. I guess the girl is mortified. A very hard lesson learned today. But, I am changing my son's phone plan - he will not be able to send or receive any media of any sort.
Even though he didn't make any excuses, I don't want him receiving anymore of these, I can't be sure he will do the right thing, at least not at thirteen. Thank you.

The only change you need to make to your son's phone plan is to remove it completely.

You think after this he's not going to be sexting?

Really?

Take the phone away.

 

[CdwJava]

To be honest, while a crime appears to have been committed, the odds of charges actually being filed are slim. The nature of the actions taken by the OP's son, in particular (and, if true), would tend to lean towards leniency. Then there is also the issue of the issue of age and the fact that being under the age of 14 California requires that the state show that the minor possessed the requisite knowledge and intent to commit a crime.

I cannot see the issue going all too far criminally, but, I continue to be confused and concerned by the school's apparent inaction on the issue.