malena23473
Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Idaho
I have two children- 4 yr old daughter and 9 yr old son. I have lived with their father for 15 years, since I was 17. The problem is that he has never made a real committment to marry me, for the exception when we were together the first year. However, he has been legally married to someone else since back in 1989 and never annulled or got a divorce. When he asked me to marry him that first year we were together in 1990, he wanted to marry me in his native country Mexico, regardless of the fact that he was still legally married in the U.S. I did not believe in doing this. The point to my concern is that I have set some conditions in which if he does not start the process of filing for divorce or is divorced by this summer- I am going to leave him. I am worried about my children's reaction and feelings towards this. We have had some domestic abuse issues and I am going through some grief loss after losing my mother to cancer last year. I am confused on what my first move should be. I know he cannot just take my children away, even though he makes more money than I do. What is a mother to do? Family members say I should stay for the children, but at the same time I am so miserable. After 15 years of waiting to be respected and loved the way I should be, its not getting any better. I do not want to wait another 15 years. I deserve better than this. I am 32 yrs old and want more from my life and to be happy. I know I should have taken care of this situation a long time ago before I had my children, but I always believed he would someday get divorced and marry me. Help? I am so confused and don't know how to plan all this out.
I have two children- 4 yr old daughter and 9 yr old son. I have lived with their father for 15 years, since I was 17. The problem is that he has never made a real committment to marry me, for the exception when we were together the first year. However, he has been legally married to someone else since back in 1989 and never annulled or got a divorce. When he asked me to marry him that first year we were together in 1990, he wanted to marry me in his native country Mexico, regardless of the fact that he was still legally married in the U.S. I did not believe in doing this. The point to my concern is that I have set some conditions in which if he does not start the process of filing for divorce or is divorced by this summer- I am going to leave him. I am worried about my children's reaction and feelings towards this. We have had some domestic abuse issues and I am going through some grief loss after losing my mother to cancer last year. I am confused on what my first move should be. I know he cannot just take my children away, even though he makes more money than I do. What is a mother to do? Family members say I should stay for the children, but at the same time I am so miserable. After 15 years of waiting to be respected and loved the way I should be, its not getting any better. I do not want to wait another 15 years. I deserve better than this. I am 32 yrs old and want more from my life and to be happy. I know I should have taken care of this situation a long time ago before I had my children, but I always believed he would someday get divorced and marry me. Help? I am so confused and don't know how to plan all this out.