16 YO niece living with a non relative situation

[justalayman]

Ok, how about trying to get into contact with the mother and talk with her about the situation


If you haven't noticed your lackadaisical attitude about contacting the father has put you in a bad light. Why haven't you contacted him already?

 

[Ohiogal]

Wife is the Mothers sister

You have no rights. NONE at all.

 

[CTU]

As far as the concerned bit. . .that is all this really is. We have no hard proof, only a couple red flags of a strange situation. It's sort of a delicate issue as we don't want to estrange the daughter anymore than necessary, but do want to make sure there is no funny business going on if we can. It's possible the old guy recognized the mother is sorta crazy and really is interested in caring for her daughter after seeing how she was treated?

I think you should re-read your posts on this thread, but this time as a third party with no dog (real or imaginary) in the fight.

Do you see how you're coming across?

 

[shardisky]

I think you should re-read your posts on this thread, but this time as a third party with no dog (real or imaginary) in the fight.

Do you see how you're coming across?

Maybe holier than though and as someone not in the situation, but as an outsider? . . . I've just been talking for me(husband) and my wife. She has chimed in at times. She has been working a lot this week and I have much more free time to pick brains on here, but she has chimed in a couple times. I guess the whole explaining things as "us" instead of "me and my wife", and using statements like "the mother" instead of "my sister in law" makes it sound like I'm writing a murder mystery, instead of being in a murder mystery if you get my drift, but it wasn't intentional. . .Am I anywhere near answering this question as a third party? Doing my best, but it's hard to look at something and not be me?

 

[justalayman]

It's been nearly 24 hours since you have posted. Have you tried to contact the mother or father yet? If you are as concerned about the issues you spoke of, why would you wait one minute more in attempting to contact them?

 

[shardisky]

Ok, how about trying to get into contact with the mother and talk with her about the situation


If you haven't noticed your lackadaisical attitude about contacting the father has put you in a bad light. Why haven't you contacted him already?

My wife wants to be the one to contact him. I guess this is another relationship that has a lot of strain and past problems? I'm waiting for her and that's really all I have to say.

 

[justalayman]

My wife wants to be the one to contact him. I guess this is another relationship that has a lot of strain and past problems? I'm waiting for her and that's really all I have to say.

Then I would guess you are more concerned about the kid than her own blood relative. What a shame.

If I thought anything you suggested might be true I would be on the phone instantly. Then, even if the father said he approved the situstion, I would be researching the old guy's background and making every attempt to contact the mother


You came here suggesting the possibility of one of the worst things that could ever happen to a kid was a possibility. Now you talk like there's all the time in the world to deal with this.

 

[shardisky]

Then I would guess you are more concerned about the kid than her own blood relative. What a shame.

If I thought anything you suggested might be true I would be on the phone instantly. Then, even if the father said he approved the situstion, I would be researching the old guy's background and making every attempt to contact the mother


You came here suggesting the possibility of one of the worst things that could ever happen to a kid was a possibility. Now you talk like there's all the time in the world to deal with this.

That is true...I checked if the old guy had a record and he does not. The mother is a paranoid schizophrenic and took off so I don't know? My wife and I found the fathers number on a google search. My wife doesn't want to talk about it right now and mentioned she feared about getting the father involved? She visited the old guy and our niece last week like i said, but we are going to invite her over to visit us for a week and see if we can gain her trust and let her know we care about her and maybe get a better idea of whats going on. If she's not allowed to come out from this guy then maybe that is a sign he is trying to isolate her and we need to be more aggressive in our approach? Half our red flags and stories are from the Paranoid mother. I just don't know what to do as my wife sorta is waiting and as far as this goes it is her family...I'm just lost?

 

[justalayman]

I can get behind the attempt to have the child away from The old guy as you describe.

The rest; well, I'll leave that up to you to deal with. You obviously have more details than I ever will.

 

[shardisky]

I can get behind the attempt to have the child away from The old guy as you describe.

The rest; well, I'll leave that up to you to deal with. You obviously have more details than I ever will.

Learned a bit more of the situation. I guess the biological father has been interacting with the my my wife's niece and that may be where this old guy has "written permission" in front of a notary, but the biological father does not have legal custody of the daughter. He was into drugs and such as far as I understand and the guy I mentioned that lives near us who has been out of the picture for 10+ years is her adoptive dad. The adoptive dad's consent would be the one that matters right? . . . my wife plans to call him tomorrow and see if he is informed about the situation.

 

[justalayman]

Correct; bio father, if not also the legal father, has no rights in this. Legal parents are who have any rights here.

 

[stealth2]

Correct; bio father, if not also the legal father, has no rights in this. Legal parents are who have any rights here.

Like OP and his wife. No rights. No standing. No dog.