16yo vandalized/tresspassed??

[CdwJava]

if it were my kid, we'd go first to the neighbor who owned the four-wheeler and see what could be done to make it right. If need be, I'd be with my boy at the police station.

What would it be teaching my children about owning up to one's responsibilities if I just said, "Shh! Be quiet and don't say a word!" I do not want that kind of moral teaching being passed on to my children.

If my son makes a mistake of this magnitude, he should own up to it. And if I have to drag his sorry little butt to the piper so that he faces the music, then so be it.

- Carl

 

[fairisfair]

if it were my kid, we'd go first to the neighbor who owned the four-wheeler and see what could be done to make it right. If need be, I'd be with my boy at the police station.

What would it be teaching my children about owning up to one's responsibilities if I just said, "Shh! Be quiet and don't say a word!" I do not want that kind of moral teaching being passed on to my children.

If my son makes a mistake of this magnitude, he should own up to it. And if I have to drag his sorry little butt to the piper so that he faces the music, then so be it.

- Carl

Well, that makes two of us. Unfortunately others appear to believe that the important issue at hand is keeping quiet and laying low. Wonder how many times that is going to work in a lifetime??

 

[CdwJava]

Well, that makes two of us. Unfortunately others appear to believe that the important issue at hand is keeping quiet and laying low. Wonder how many times that is going to work in a lifetime??

I don't understand that way of thinking.

Maybe it's just me.

Heck, I recently bought 6 plastic storage tubs at Wal-Mart and somehow managed to get 7 ... oops! My oldest son said, "Cool!" The next day I went down and bought 5 more and paid for 6 and told the clerk there what happened. The Asst. Mgr. said I didn't have to do that, and I told him. "Yes, I do."

My oldest son was there with me.

I have returned money when I received too much change, and have gone back to pay for items that i was not charged for after looking at a receipt. My kids know that.

It's not what you TELL them that they remember, it is what you DO that they remember. The words go in one ear and out the other ... the actions are engrained into the psyche.

EDIT: Being the legal path (not owning up or 'fessing up) is not always the RIGHT path. I would prefer the right path over the legal one in any circumstance. if they run parrallel - great. If they don't ... well, I have to look myself in the mirror each morning, and my kids are looking up at me in that same mirror.

- Carl

 

[xylene]

Thats great wisdom Carl.

I don't understand that way of thinking.

Maybe it's just me.

Heck, I recently bought 6 plastic storage tubs at Wal-Mart and somehow managed to get 7 ... oops! My oldest son said, "Cool!" The next day I went down and bought 5 more and paid for 6 and told the clerk there what happened. The Asst. Mgr. said I didn't have to do that, and I told him. "Yes, I do."

My oldest son was there with me.

I have returned money when I received too much change, and have gone back to pay for items that i was not charged for after looking at a receipt. My kids know that.


It's not what you TELL them that they remember, it is what you DO that they remember. The words go in one ear and out the other ... the actions are engrained into the psyche.

EDIT: Being the legal path (not owning up or 'fessing up) is not always the RIGHT path. I would prefer the right path over the legal one in any circumstance. if they run parrallel - great. If they don't ... well, I have to look myself in the mirror each morning, and my kids are looking up at me in that same mirror.

- Carl

I agree with you, but this isn't a 2.99 mistake.

Kid commited a serious crime along with several others.

It just seems smart to make sure that your willingness to be honest doesn't result in your son being the only one held culpable.

 

[CdwJava]

I agree with you, but this isn't a 2.99 mistake.

Kid commited a serious crime along with several others.

It just seems smart to make sure that your willingness to be honest doesn't result in your son being the only one held culpable.

It doesn't matter. How you treat the small things is how you treat the big things. Small indiscretions lead to the big ones.

And whether others are held culpable should not be the issue. If my son commited a crime or even some childish prank, he will face the consequences - whether it is alone or with others. When we hold to a standard that says, "I'll take my punishment only if they are punished, too" then we continue to travel town the road that absolves us of personal responsibility.

I was not raised that way and I will certainly not raise my children that way.

- Carl

 

[stealth2]

Bravo, Carl! That's the way we work here, too.

 

[CdwJava]

Bravo, Carl! That's the way we work here, too.

Thank my father - he instilled it in me as his father instilled it in him ... and my mother's Quaker upbringing didn't hurt.

- Carl

 

[bobbitim]

NYS vandalism laws

Is his first offense considered a misdameanor or a felony type offense. What are the laws or link to a websit?.
thanks