17 year old doesn't want to return to custodial parent

[Zigner]

I have to wonder if the two parents have communicated about this matter...

 

[LdiJ]

Please explain how I am overstepping. I understand I am just her stepmom and I have no decision making rights in this situation.

I did not tell her to leave when her mother kicked her out, I did not tell her she did not have to go back the police did,I have not told her not to talk to her mother. These are all things that she chose to do. She asked her father and I if she could come back here we didn't make her. Of course her father is not gonna let her stay on the streets nor would I so we said ok.

My concern is my husband and what could happen to him if the mother decides to take him to court. Like I said in my previous post she's 9 months from turning 18 she's been enrolled in school here since Feb. has a job and friends and just wants to finish her last year of school here.

Again, if the child's best interest is all that you care about and child support is all that mom cares about then why not consider giving mom the amount of child support she thinks she is entitled to receive until the child graduates from high school and its no longer an issue.

 

[A_PAYNE]

They have been speaking. My husband was out of state when it all happened so they've been talking on the phone. When the daughter left she called her dad and told him where she was at he then called her mother and told her where she was and to call the police to go get her. The mothers response was no she's on her own now she didn't want her to come back. When the daughter couldn't stay with her friend anymore she went to her bf house after asking his mom. When her mother found out where she was she called the police to report her as a runaway but because she told her not to come back they could only report her as missing. When the police went to the bf house she refused to go back home and they told her they couldn't make her because of her age. The daughter called her dad and asked him if she could come back to our house after discussing it with me we decided to let her come back. My husband then called her mother and told her he talked to the daughter and that she could come back to our house. After that conversation the mother started blaming everything on my husband. It was all his fault that the daughter left,where she went,why she wouldn't go back to her mom's, and that he was keeping the daughter away from the mom. Mind you we live in Louisiana and my husband works in New Jersey and he wasn't even home when all this happened. So after that my husband had as little communication with her as possible.

 

[Zigner]

They have been speaking. My husband was out of state when it all happened so they've been talking on the phone. When the daughter left she called her dad and told him where she was at he then called her mother and told her where she was and to call the police to go get her. The mothers response was no she's on her own now she didn't want her to come back. When the daughter couldn't stay with her friend anymore she went to her bf house after asking his mom. When her mother found out where she was she called the police to report her as a runaway but because she told her not to come back they could only report her as missing. When the police went to the bf house she refused to go back home and they told her they couldn't make her because of her age. The daughter called her dad and asked him if she could come back to our house after discussing it with me we decided to let her come back. My husband then called her mother and told her he talked to the daughter and that she could come back to our house. After that conversation the mother started blaming everything on my husband. It was all his fault that the daughter left,where she went,why she wouldn't go back to her mom's, and that he was keeping the daughter away from the mom. Mind you we live in Louisiana and my husband works in New Jersey and he wasn't even home when all this happened. So after that my husband had as little communication with her as possible.

It sounds to me as if the child won't even be "staying" with her dad.
I really think these two parents need to focus on communicating. It's admirable that you want to help, but you really are on the borderline of overstepping. I'm not convinced that you've crossed it...but you're teetering on the edge.

 

[A_PAYNE]

The daughter does not want to live with her mother. Before this happened her mother would kick her out on a regular basis. How is she going to concentrate on finishing school when she has to worry about a place to stay much less how to get to school.

I tried to just stick with the basics of the situation that's going on now because my concern is for what might happen to my husband but this has been an ongoing thing with the mother.

My husband and his ex wife have 3 children together. When their oldest couldn't stay with his mother anymore and wanted to come live with us she agreed if we would pay her 2000.00 dollars. So he lived with us from the time he was 14 until he graduated. When he was 15 his mother moved 12 hrs away and wanted to see him so we flew him there only for her to kick him out of her house in the middle of the night with nowhere to go and not knowing anyone else there. Now we are dealing with his daughter. I wouldn't have even posted on here if it wasn't for my lack of legal knowledge and wanting to know if my husband would be put in jail for letting his 17 year old daughter live with us.

 

[Proserpina]

The daughter does not want to live with her mother. Before this happened her mother would kick her out on a regular basis. How is she going to concentrate on finishing school when she has to worry about a place to stay much less how to get to school.

I tried to just stick with the basics of the situation that's going on now because my concern is for what might happen to my husband but this has been an ongoing thing with the mother.

My husband and his ex wife have 3 children together. When their oldest couldn't stay with his mother anymore and wanted to come live with us she agreed if we would pay her 2000.00 dollars. So he lived with us from the time he was 14 until he graduated. When he was 15 his mother moved 12 hrs away and wanted to see him so we flew him there only for her to kick him out of her house in the middle of the night with nowhere to go and not knowing anyone else there. Now we are dealing with his daughter. I wouldn't have even posted on here if it wasn't for my lack of legal knowledge and wanting to know if my husband would be put in jail for letting his 17 year old daughter live with us.

If Mom's primary concern is child support, why do you think she'd cause a fuss if her child support payments didn't change?

 

[A_PAYNE]

Thank you to everyone that offered advice to help.

My husband and stepdaughter have gone back to her mother's to get some of her belongings and have spoken to the police. We now know what will be done and I no longer have to worry about my husband going to jail.

For the ones stuck on "well she won't even be with her dad" all because his job requires him to work out of state yall are ridiculous. So it would be different for her to stay here if he was working a min. wage job and home every night but since he has to work out of state to make a decent living and provide for his children they shouldn't be aloud to live with him when their mother is clearly mentally and emotionally abusing them.

 

[Just Blue]

Thank you to everyone that offered advice to help.

My husband and stepdaughter have gone back to her mother's to get some of her belongings and have spoken to the police. We now know what will be done and I no longer have to worry about my husband going to jail.

For the ones stuck on "well she won't even be with her dad" all because his job requires him to work out of state yall are ridiculous. So it would be different for her to stay here if he was working a min. wage job and home every night but since he has to work out of state to make a decent living and provide for his children they shouldn't be aloud to live with him when their mother is clearly mentally and emotionally abusing them.

Charming.

 

[Proserpina]

I think we have a somewhat manipulative, very canny teenager who has been able to play off one parent against the other for a long, long time. Note that I'm not putting the blame solely on anyone ... it's unfortunately the custodial equivalent of the Perfect Storm. For whatever reason this young lady is running the show.

That's not to say she is beyond help, by any means - but frankly she has needed a steady, solid parent to ... well, parent her ... and that hasn't happened. Dad's work schedule has not helped, but it's also not the only reason she's turned out this way.

Basically all that's left to do is make sure she gets through the next 9 months in one piece.

Sorry guys, but mistakes were made and this is the fallout.

 

[Zigner]

Thank you to everyone that offered advice to help.

My husband and stepdaughter have gone back to her mother's to get some of her belongings and have spoken to the police. We now know what will be done and I no longer have to worry about my husband going to jail.

For the ones stuck on "well she won't even be with her dad" all because his job requires him to work out of state yall are ridiculous. So it would be different for her to stay here if he was working a min. wage job and home every night but since he has to work out of state to make a decent living and provide for his children they shouldn't be aloud to live with him when their mother is clearly mentally and emotionally abusing them.

Wow - where did you come up with that? If you weren't a jerk, I'd explain why I (and others) thought it might be relevant.

 

[Proserpina]

Thank you to everyone that offered advice to help.

My husband and stepdaughter have gone back to her mother's to get some of her belongings and have spoken to the police. We now know what will be done and I no longer have to worry about my husband going to jail.

For the ones stuck on "well she won't even be with her dad" all because his job requires him to work out of state yall are ridiculous. So it would be different for her to stay here if he was working a min. wage job and home every night but since he has to work out of state to make a decent living and provide for his children they shouldn't be aloud to live with him when their mother is clearly mentally and emotionally abusing them.

Huh. His children are clearly being mentally and emotionally abused and he's done exactly WHAT about rescuing them?

Oh. Okay.

You are walking on extremely thin ice here. Watch. Your. Tone.

 

[A_PAYNE]

Her child support payments did change that is why she wants her back. She even told my husband and the daughter that. When my stepdaughter came to live with us in Feb the child support was reduced and she is not happy with it.

 

[Just Blue]

Her child support payments did change that is why she wants her back. She even told my husband and the daughter that. When my stepdaughter came to live with us in Feb the child support was reduced and she is not happy with it.

Your Husband could not be bothered to even post for himself. What a "great" "dad".

 

[A_PAYNE]

He has tried many things to get them out of that situation. We have gone to court and called child protective services and they did nothing. So it is not from lack of trying that they are still there.

 

[A_PAYNE]

Nobody is perfect and I never said he was but he is a good dad that cares about his kids and works hard to provide for them.

No he did not post because he isn't worried about the consequences all he's worried about at the moment is his daughter and her well being.