17 year old know it all

[shariboes]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas
I have a 17 year old daughter (who will be 18 on January 23) who thinks she knows everything. She has met a boy who is 20 on Facebook. He is in the army stationed in Tennessee and came to Texas to meet her. He seemed like a nice boy, but straight up gangter, tatoos all over. He is originally from California and I found out that he joined the army because he sold drugs in California. This is not something I want for my daughter. Well she has informed me that in August she wants to fly to Tennessee for a week to see him. She has already threated her dad and I that she will go and live with him. She works and said she will pay for the ticket. That does not matter to me. I do not feel like we should allow her to do this. I need advice!!!! She and I fight constantly about this boy. She is very very disrepectful! I know she cannot fly without parent consent. What do I do? If I tell her no I am not sure what she will do. If she leaves and finds someway to get there is she considered a runaway?

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas

Par for the course. ALL 17 yo's are arrogant.

 

[Antigone*]

Par for the course. ALL 17 yo's are arrogant.

and it is not illegal for them to think they do

 

[Just Blue]

and it is not illegal for them to think they do

Nope. Not a bit.

 

[Just Blue]

Nope. Not a bit.

ETA: A prudent parent picks the battles.

 

[shariboes]

So you would let your 17 year od daughter get on a plane to see a boy she hardly knows? That her parents do not know?

 

[mistoffolees]

So you would let your 17 year od daughter get on a plane to see a boy she hardly knows? That her parents do not know?

No one suggested that.

Your question is not a legal one. Legally, the child must live where you tell her to live and can not associate with anyone you don't want her to associate with.

Of course, you have the problem of getting her to do what you tell her to do, but 17 is a little late to start that. In any event, that's not a legal question.

 

[LeeHarveyBlotto]

As others have stated, yours is not a legal question.

My children lived by my rules until they were all of the above: 1) 18 or older, 2) paying their way in the world (100%), and 3) living on their own.

 

[shariboes]

I understand. She is 17 and by law she has to do what I say which right now is very hard because she thinks she can all of a sudden go out in the big world and make it on her own (I am assuming with the help this boy). She has pretty much always obeyed us with a little bit rebellion. She has never been in trouble with the law. And I am not just starting to discipline at 17. So if she finds a way to leave....legally what are my rights as a parent?

 

[cbg]

To go after her and drag her little behind back home.

 

[Just Blue]

So you would let your 17 year od daughter get on a plane to see a boy she hardly knows? That her parents do not know?

Please note that I responded to your first post BEFORE you posted any details. Please post more than the thread header and state so that you can get more than generic info.

 

[commentator]

I advise a little patience. If she goes to visit this guy with your permission, paying her own way, she may find that he's not as cute or as charming as she thought. It really isn't easy to make it out there in the great world at seventeen with a job that's just enough to buy a plane ticket and transportation that belongs to her parents I'd bet. And she's in loovve, as only an arrogant seventeen year old can be.

But if you decide have Armageddon at this point, "If you get on that plane, then just don't come home!" you've created a situation where she has to do it or die. Are you sure you want to do this? I'd hate to see you force your child to leave home, fort up with a bad person simply because they have no place else to go, having let mouth overload smart butt too far.

You have doubtless explained to her your issues with this person. Probably far more than she needs to hear it. But if you've raised her with a reasonable amount of intelligence and trust in the relationship, she'll be able, even at 17 to see that the egg is rotten if it is.

 

[shariboes]

Thank you for all the advice. Her dad and I have decided after much thought that we cannot in all good conscience let her go. Of course she is throwing a fit, but we have said under no circumstances may she go. So we will take it day by day. Thanks again for the advice.

 

[Antigone*]

Thank you for all the advice. Her dad and I have decided after much thought that we cannot in all good conscience let her go. Of course she is throwing a fit, but we have said under no circumstances may she go. So we will take it day by day. Thanks again for the advice.

Stand your ground.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

If it is true love, it will last 6 months.