1st Post. Question about "back support"

[mcwjjm]

I have two sons age, 2 and 4. While their mother [we were not married] & I lived together I paid almost all the bills [rent/utilities/car/insurance/kids on my medical] and split the other costs 50/50. She covered day care which was title 20 and I picked up the nominal tutition. She moved out with the kids in mid-November. I began paying her support shortly before that and have continued to do so. Now she is denying me the visitation we agreed upon, taking me for child suport and treatening me with "back support" for our youngest child. Even though I've always provided much more then 50% of his needs. I live in Ohio.

I have records of the payments I've made since November but all the support prior to that isn't documented [other than medical and vehicle useage] on either side, so it's a case of "he said, she said". Though her work record was very spotty since his birth [worked 1 week in 2005]. Can her child support officier or judge go after me for "back support"? Thanks in advance.

 

[fairisfair]

http://www.ncsea.org/international/intl_visitors/laws/retrochart2.php3

Your state allows back child support to the birth of the child**************..

 

[Neal1421]

I have two sons age, 2 and 4. While their mother [we were not married] & I lived together I paid almost all the bills [rent/utilities/car/insurance/kids on my medical] and split the other costs 50/50. She covered day care which was title 20 and I picked up the nominal tutition. She moved out with the kids in mid-November. I began paying her support shortly before that and have continued to do so. Now she is denying me the visitation we agreed upon, taking me for child suport and treatening me with "back support" for our youngest child. Even though I've always provided much more then 50% of his needs. I live in Ohio.

I have records of the payments I've made since November but all the support prior to that isn't documented [other than medical and vehicle useage] on either side, so it's a case of "he said, she said". Though her work record was very spotty since his birth [worked 1 week in 2005]. Can her child support officier or judge go after me for "back support"? Thanks in advance.

If there was never a court order for support, then no. It will only go back to the time that she file for support with the court.

Since you all are no longer together, I strongly suggest that all support and visitation/custody issues be dealt with through the court.

 

[Neal1421]

http://www.ncsea.org/international/intl_visitors/laws/retrochart2.php3

Your state allows back child support to the birth of the child**************..

Thanks, I didn't know that. I stand corrected.

If you can prove that the two of you lived together for the majority of the time she is requesting back support, you may have a better chance.

 

[mcwjjm]

Thank you for the link but in my case where I've provided more than 50% of the care of the child would they still go after "back support" to his birth? There is no court order established and I'm already paying her support for both children since she moved out.

Neal, she has petitioned for a court hearing to establish support payments. Till then I'm providing support voluntarally. Well, I have a lease with OUR names on it.

 

[Neal1421]

Thank you for the link but in my case where I've provided more than 50% of the care of the child would they still go after "back support" to his birth? There is no court order established and I'm already paying her support for both children since she moved out.

I hate to say this but stop paying until the order has been set. Any money that you are giving her now will probably be seen as a gift, not support.

 

[mcwjjm]

Neal, I won't do that. I just do not want to have to pay support twice!

 

[Neal1421]

Neal, I won't do that. I just do not want to have to pay support twice!

You may be paying it twice though doing that though if you continue to send payments w/o an order set.

 

[MrsK]

If you can prove you've paid since November, dont worry about that until now.

If you can prove you lived together prior to Nov, then you stand a better chance of NOT being ordered to pay support from his birth until Nov. Things like bills with HER name on them with your address, etc. And then you should provide (if possible) receipts for bills paid by you during that time, receipts for daycare, etc.

Also- check to see if its legal to record phone calls in your state. If it is, then try & get her on tape threatening you with back support, get her talking about you supporting the children while you were together, etc., then you can give it to the judge & she may not have a leg to stand on.

And, honestly- STOP PAYING support until there is an order...or, make her sign something saying she is receiving support, because it will otherwise be viewed as a gift and you will be paying twice.

 

[mcwjjm]

So, you're saying that if I don't send any payments I won't be hit with "back payments" but if I do I may be hit with "back payments". That makes no sense.

MrsK. I may have phone records to that effect but I know I have Emails with us agreeing on the amount of support she wanted till the court order is set.

 

[MrsK]

So, you're saying that if I don't send any payments I won't be hit with "back payments" but if I do I may be hit with "back payments". That makes no sense.

Ok, lets make this simple.

If you stop paying, you will owe arrears from the time of filing until court. If thats 3 months, you will owe 3 months of support.

If you pay, she will say you havent, and you will owe 3 months of arrears. But since you've already paid those 3 months, you will actually pay for 6 months. AND for any time you can not prove you paid her, because it will be considered a gift. And even if you DO have proof, they may decide to make you repay it all again. So you could possibly pay twice from Nov until court.

I'd stop paying completely, IMO. Put the money into an acct, so that when the amount is ordered & you are in "arrears", you can give her the $$ then & then you will no longer be in arrears & she cant screw you.

Simple, see?

 

[Neal1421]

So, you're saying that if I don't send any payments I won't be hit with "back payments" but if I do I may be hit with "back payments". That makes no sense.

MrsK. I may have phone records to that effect but I know I have Emails with us agreeing on the amount of support she wanted till the court order is set.

You will be hit with back payments either way. So, to avoid paying twice stop what you are sending or get her to sign something which I doubt she will.

 

[MrsK]

So, you're saying that if I don't send any payments I won't be hit with "back payments" but if I do I may be hit with "back payments". That makes no sense.

MrsK. I may have phone records to that effect but I know I have Emails with us agreeing on the amount of support she wanted till the court order is set.

Ok, get her to email you something to the effect that you supported your children while you were together & you MIGHT get off without paying all those months (from your son's birth til...) .

 

[mcwjjm]

Thanks MrsK but she can say what she likes but I have M.O. receipts proving the payments I made since November. Since she recently curtailed visitation I told her that I would establish a bank account in our children's name and put the money there. But I feel bad they won't benefit till the order is established.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

You need to get the orders set in court.
Have you established paternity for any of these children?

She has filed for CS, you will have to file for visitation, until the court orders neither of you is obligated to pay child support or visitation if you don't have orders already.
Have you clearly indicated on the MO that they are for child support since November?
While you can mediate out of court nothing is binding unti the judge rules.
If she was on state aid you could be held responsible for back support otherwise it will be back support until November, and th eocurt may take into account what you have already paid. Put future child support into an account for the children then your arrears will be covered, perhaps if you stop child support she will allow visitation again.