50/50 for an 18 mth old???

[casa]

Actually, all it really tells anyone is that his parts work.

Or that there is a pattern of him picking unfit spouses/partners...3 kids who can't be raised by their Mom, then another kid who can't be raised by another Mom- then there's now this 'new' one. Makes me wonder what the current sig. other's issues are.

 

[kiki56031]

50 / 50 Is NOT a good idea!

I can understand you being upset with these replies. They are being offered as "truths" when in fact they are only opinions. A person coming to this site looking for advice is looking for support, or suggestions, not ranting. If these people don't have advice that is useful, then they don't need to reply.

I have seen 50/50, I grew up with it, it was awful. A child needs stability, not being tossed back and forth like an object. If the mother is not capable of giving the child a stable home, then prove it to the courts and let her have visitation. A child needs a good, stable loving environment. And all of this talk about money has NOTHING to do with it!

Good luck!

 

[LdiJ]

I can understand you being upset with these replies. They are being offered as "truths" when in fact they are only opinions. A person coming to this site looking for advice is looking for support, or suggestions, not ranting. If these people don't have advice that is useful, then they don't need to reply.

I have seen 50/50, I grew up with it, it was awful. A child needs stability, not being tossed back and forth like an object. If the mother is not capable of giving the child a stable home, then prove it to the courts and let her have visitation. A child needs a good, stable loving environment. And all of this talk about money has NOTHING to do with it!

Good luck!

Hon, you are wrong about one thing. One thing that this board is NOT for, is support. This board is for legal advice, pure and simple. I agree that sometimes we are a little too hard on the posters who come here for advice...but the reality of things is that a judge will be even harder on them than we are.

If they have outside evidence that mom is unfit...they can certainly go for primary custody....but they do need to realize that a judge is seriously going to wonder if they are not motivated by child support.

However I do agree with you about 50/50....your reaction to your history parallels what I have heard from many many children who have been in 50/50 situations. Even the one family that I know that did an exceptional job of making it work...recently ceased 50/50. Dad now has primary custody of the teenager and mom has primary custody of the gradeschooler. The KIDS asked this of their parents because they also were tired of the back and forth. However, the two parents live in the same neighborhood so the kids see both of them often. They don't really follow any kind of "set" schedule...the kids are still free to "roam" between the homes if they desire. (as long as they tell someone where they are going of course)

 

[Mr. Man]

Oh, we American's are so out of touch with reality......

Children live non-tramatic lives is all sorts of conditions. Some families travel as the weather changes, pitching tee-pees or huts for a home for years and years.

If you are concerned about neglect, contact CPS! It's there job, not the new wife's to determine that a Mother is unfit to raise her children.


With not ill will intended, I would suggest you check out other post with similar situations, spend a day in family court observing or watch an episode of "divorce court". You may be surprised how many new girlfriends and wifes are convinced that MOM is no good for the "new step-children" in her life.

I speak for experience....lots and lots. You are most likely caught up in a whole lot of drama that will in a few years leave you scratching your head at why you stressed so much.

Even better advice....family court judges hear these concerns from the majority of those with custody/support issues, it will most likely be a waste of time and energy. The objective of CA family court is to insure that the best interest of the child is the goal, and having a loving and continuous relationship with both parents is on the top of the list.