Abuse involved

[CuriuosINpa]

What is the name of your state? PA
I live in PA and I'm in a situation where my ex-boyfriend was physically abusing me. I made him leave and I aquired a PFA. Unfortunately,he fathered both of the children and they have his last name. I am at my wits end and I just want to take them and leave (my kids). I have found out since the break up that he was convicted of felony rape and several other assaults and robbery. He isn't paying any kind of support and I have to wait for a second custody hearing. I currently have primary custody and the judge ordered that he not see the boys for an entire month. I do not want this man anywhere near my children. What would happen if I were to leave the state? We were never married. Someone please give me some decent advise, I just want to get my kids as far away from him as I can.

 

[stealth2]

Has he been legally declared the father?

 

[CuriuosINpa]

abuse involved

Sorry to say, yes, he signed that in the hospital

 

[garrula lingua]

You say the Judge ordered that he not see the children for one month ?
Do you have another court hearing pending ?

Re the felony rape: get some paperwork which backs this up.
Go to the courthouse where this case must have been heard & see if you can get a minute order/docket of the plea/sentencing. If that doesn't work, try one of the internet background searches and see if you can confirm the conviction.

Family court Judges are very careful when they are dealing with felon parents. They will, normally, order supervised visitation. Unfortunately, people think one court knows of convictions in other courts - not so.

Also, FL Judges react, favorable, to documents which prove an allegation. They are so used to mud-slinging by combatant parents, they frequently don't believe allegations of criminal convictions - you have to file proof.
File a declaration with the FL court, with a certified copy of the conviction minute order attached, and ask the FL Judge to suspend visitation or order supervised visitation.

PS - this man is Dad. He may be a terrible husband/boyfriend and a felon, but he is Dad and will always have rights to the children. Don't run - let the court order safe (or no) visitation. If you feel the need, get a restraining order for yourself; let the court decide safe visitation, but be sure they have all the info re your boyfriend when the issue is decided.

 

[ceara19]

You say the Judge ordered that he not see the children for one month ?
Do you have another court hearing pending ?

Re the felony rape: get some paperwork which backs this up.
Go to the courthouse where this case must have been heard & see if you can get a minute order/docket of the plea/sentencing. If that doesn't work, try one of the internet background searches and see if you can confirm the conviction.

Family court Judges are very careful when they are dealing with felon parents. They will, normally, order supervised visitation. Unfortunately, people think one court knows of convictions in other courts - not so.

Also, FL Judges react, favorable, to documents which prove an allegation. They are so used to mud-slinging by combatant parents, they frequently don't believe allegations of criminal convictions - you have to file proof.
File a declaration with the FL court, with a certified copy of the conviction minute order attached, and ask the FL Judge to suspend visitation or order supervised visitation.

PS - this man is Dad. He may be a terrible husband/boyfriend and a felon, but he is Dad and will always have rights to the children. Don't run - let the court order safe (or no) visitation. If you feel the need, get a restraining order for yourself; let the court decide safe visitation, but be sure they have all the info re your boyfriend when the issue is decided.

His criminal record may not mean much. If he committed these crimes BEFORE the children were born, it's not going to mean much since the OP had 2 children with him AFTER the fact. Saying "I didn't know he was like this" will lead to "you had 2 children with a man you didn't know" .

I'm not implying that the OP isn't justified worrying about the influence he may be on the children. But she needs to use caution when bringing up his history from BEFORE she met him.

 

[garrula lingua]

It always worked for me when I practiced FL.

Judges/Commissioners are frightened that their name will be in the paper, tomorrow, in a sad article about people injured, after granting unsupervised visitation to a wacky parent.

OP says rape & assaults - most Judges would react with caution when a parent has that violent background, however, many people say their ex was a criminal, without any proof.

 

[angelmama]

OP, what county do you live in?

 

[CuriuosINpa]

So, I"m supposed to wait until he does something to hurt me or my children. Then the courts will take action. You didn't answer my question, what if I just thake the kids and go? I"m very afraid of him.

 

[mb94]

If you take the kids and go, without permission from the court or your ex, you are going to get in trouble. The case seems to still be ongoing and you are going to look very bad if you disappear in the middle of it. It is going to look like you have something to hide and will make it harder for you to legally win this fight because if you just up and ran once they suspect you may do it again. It would even be possible that they take custody away from you because of it. Do Not Run.

Why do you assume he is going to do something to you? Has there been recent threats or actions? If so then contact the police. If not then it might be helpful for you to get in contact with a organization that provides help for abused women. After living in an abusive situation it is not uncommon for women for have PTSD which makes it harder for you to rationally judge the danger of a situation. You also need to figure out why you were with this man in the first place. Until you understand why you were attracted to him in the first place there is a good chance you will repeat this situation in the future.

 

[ceara19]

So, I"m supposed to wait until he does something to hurt me or my children. Then the courts will take action. You didn't answer my question, what if I just thake the kids and go? I"m very afraid of him.

If you take off with the kids, he can easily end up with CUSTODY.

 

[CuriuosINpa]

Of course there have been threats, that's why I have a protection order against him. He still ignores that order.
What if I were to marry someone from out of state? I would want to move with him, and take my boys. So you're saying I should just wait until the court finish, so to speak, with the matter? I don't trust my exboyfriend at all. He has made many threats against me, he has also threatened to take them, the boys, to another country. Which is just another reason i want to get as far away from him as possible

 

[CandiceH]

Each and every time he violates the order of protection, call the police. If you do not follow through with this you will be back to square one. You have the order for a REASON. Report EACH and EVERY violation, no matter how trivial. This will show a pattern. I know that you want to run but you cant. You need to have the case settled. Even then, you may not be able to take the children out of the court's jurisdiction. Be prepared for this. Do you have an attorney or the means to obtain one?

 

[Halls]

So, when was did the rape occur and has gone to prison for it or will he be? I'm confused about that.

I think at this point you need to ask a lawyer what you can legally do about moving and can make a phone call to one tomorrow. IMO I do not think a judge would award this man custody if you took off with the kids because clearly the best interest of these children arenot to be left in fulltime custody of this father. However, this doesn't mean you shouldn't do everything legally to move with the kids. So do yourself a favor and contact a lawyer where you live and let us know what they said. I'd be interested to know.

Good luck

 

[CuriuosINpa]

unfortunately I do not have and attorney and I cannot afford one, I would deffinately have one if I could afford one. However, everytime he , the ex, comes to court, he certainly has one, even though I have to beg him for money for the kids. I am fixing that problem soon by going through the court for support.

 

[CandiceH]

Have you thought about asking the courts for a GAL? If you dont have an attorney and can not afford one, at least have one for your children. There are many other ppl on this forum that can explain to you about GAL's if you are unsure.