Abuse involved

[CuriuosINpa]

I had not heard of that before. Is such a thing available in PA? Yes, i will inquire about that.
Thank you Candice

 

[Halls]

you don't have to have a lawyer to ask them a simple question. Call a family lawyers office tomorrow and see if they do a free phone consult than once a lawyer gets on the phone tell them everything and ask them what they think you can do legally and should do. Simple as that. If they say you are going to need to file something in court that is going to cost a lot of money than you say thanks, and goodbye. But still you will get your answer whether you end up being advised to hire a lawyer or not.

I know in many cases if there is not a court order saying you can't move away most of the time you have to just notify the courts and the ex 31 days in advance or so, but this is just a guess cause most states are like this. Your children's father can than file something to try and stop the move or not. If he doesn't than chances are you can take off and move. This doesn't cost anything to inform the court in a letter as well as a letter to the ex, but please understand this is all speculation advice. Please talk to a lawyer and hopefully for your sake it is something easy like this.

 

[CuriuosINpa]

hypothetical

What if I had not involved the custody folks and just left without them being involved? What would have happened then? Isn't it wiser for a single mother to just leave them out of a situation? It seem like getting them involved makes everything more complicated.

 

[LdiJ]

What if I had not involved the custody folks and just left without them being involved? What would have happened then? Isn't it wiser for a single mother to just leave them out of a situation? It seem like getting them involved makes everything more complicated.

You situation could have been just as complicated. Dad still could have asserted his own rights legally, which would have left you in the same position you are in now.

 

[ceara19]

Of course there have been threats, that's why I have a protection order against him. He still ignores that order.
What if I were to marry someone from out of state? I would want to move with him, and take my boys. So you're saying I should just wait until the court finish, so to speak, with the matter? I don't trust my exboyfriend at all. He has made many threats against me, he has also threatened to take them, the boys, to another country. Which is just another reason i want to get as far away from him as possible

If you married someone out of state that won't give you a better chance of being allowed to legally remove the children from the state. Just because your ex-boyfriend has threatened to hurt you or even physically hurt you in the past, does not mean that the court will determine that he is a danger to the CHILDREN.

If he has a lawyer and you don't, the chances of him being able to keep you from moving the children are better then average. If you move without permission from the court or in violation of a court order, you are asking for trouble. You're better off staying where you are so that you are there to keep your children safe. If you just up and leave with the kids, you could easily lose custody and possible risk jail time.

You have a better chance of getting the judge to order supervised visitation if you stay in the same general area as the father. If you move across the country, supervised visitation would be virtually impossible and he would most likely be given unsupervised, overnight visitation with the boys.

 

[LdiJ]

When it comes right down to things....nobody here wants to be responsible for you being another "statistic", but at the same time nobody here wants to see you lose custody because you made stupid legal manovers.

You honestly need an attorney and need to be listening to your attorney.

 

[ceara19]

When it comes right down to things....nobody here wants to be responsible for you being another "statistic", but at the same time nobody here wants to see you lose custody because you made stupid legal manovers.

You honestly need an attorney and need to be listening to your attorney.

Exactly! There's really no GOOD solution to this. You want to protect the children, but taking off with them can easily make matters much worse.

http://www.pcadv.org/

OP - This is the site for the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence. There are many resources for assistance on this site. Hopefully, you can find a center near you that can help you retain an attorney and get the help you need.

 

[CuriuosINpa]

Thanks for all the good advice. I am going to call an attorney in th morning, it is still very hard to resist the temptation to leave. I just want my kids to be safe.