addendum

[disturbeddreame]

What is the name of your state (FL)?

we signed a consent order, says visitation supervised first (dd doesnt know dad and is very clingy) until she decides to go with him without crying, also back child support and child support were agreed to.

DD's dad's family is toxic. he admits this but hopes they will change. (DD's dad's family have never asked to see her and look the other way if we enter the same grocery store)

so dad and I want an addendum. granting him additional visitation on birthdays holidays etc. because as the order stands it only mentions how much time a week. AND saying that during the visits, DD will not be allowed around any third parties without my permission.

the reasoning is that IF dd's dad's family comes around and want a relationship with her, and to stop spitting when they pass her in the street, that I will not object to them seeing her.

BUT. my question is, if we both sign this addendum, is it really worth it if he can just go back to court at some point and time and petition for it to be modified?

my prob is that its hard for me to encourage their bonding at our visits ("here baby throw the ball to dad too") when Im scared he's going to toss her to the wolves that have hated her since her birth because he wants it to work and "hope" they love her as he does.

 

[Zephyr]

so dad and I want an addendum. granting him additional visitation on birthdays holidays etc. because as the order stands it only mentions how much time a week.

you can just give him additional time you know

AND saying that during the visits, DD will not be allowed around any third parties without my permission.

never happen

BUT. my question is, if we both sign this addendum, is it really worth it if he can just go back to court at some point and time and petition for it to be modified?

if somehow you could convince a judge to sign it- dad could go back to court at any time and petition for it to be modified

my prob is that its hard for me to encourage their bonding at our visits ("here baby throw the ball to dad too") when Im scared he's going to toss her to the wolves that have hated her since her birth because he wants it to work and "hope" they love her as he does.

share your concern with dad and work together to figure out what is best for the child

 

[wileybunch]

(DD's dad's family have never asked to see her and look the other way if we enter the same grocery store)

This may be because they dislike you so is more directed at you and they may also spill over to how they feel about your DD when they see her as YOUR DD. Just some food for thought why you can let Dad deal with his family and maybe they will warm up to her when they start to see her more as DAD's child (and therefore "one of them").

 

[disturbeddreame]

Dad knows that his family sometimes "slips" and says terrible things. even to him. so he's threatened them that if they do behave badly and DD tattles to me that they said ima bleep bleep then there will be issues.

Dad SAYS he foresees this and wants the addendum signed so that he can "blame" him keeping DD's distance from them on me until we both think they have calmed down and shown that they can hold their tongue and refrain from spitting and cursing when they see me if DD is around.

I want to trust him and help his non existent relationship with DD..... so I guess I'll just have to do my best & if he does throw her to the wolves do the best I can then.

I understand if they don't like me, but how can you hate anyone so much that you would not ever meet a grandchild for the first 2 years of their life?

 

[LdiJ]

Dad knows that his family sometimes "slips" and says terrible things. even to him. so he's threatened them that if they do behave badly and DD tattles to me that they said ima bleep bleep then there will be issues.

Dad SAYS he foresees this and wants the addendum signed so that he can "blame" him keeping DD's distance from them on me until we both think they have calmed down and shown that they can hold their tongue and refrain from spitting and cursing when they see me if DD is around.

I want to trust him and help his non existent relationship with DD..... so I guess I'll just have to do my best & if he does throw her to the wolves do the best I can then.

I understand if they don't like me, but how can you hate anyone so much that you would not ever meet a grandchild for the first 2 years of their life?

If dad thinks that the addendum will help him keep his toxic family under control, then why not go ahead and sign it? They already hate you so its not going to change anything there, and it may help dad out.

 

[disturbeddreame]

Thanks for the advice, I took it and there was an addendum saying that the two parties who had been hostile were excluded from any visitation and it has been very helpful.

Sorry if it was unclear I didnt want her to not be allowed around any third parties without my ok, just the hostile ones.