adult-minor relationships for international students

[comoq3c]

well, just forgive my writing skill. it's not the right time.
I tried to contact the teacher, they are always forcing my girlfriend to tell them my information and phone number. but when I call them and send them messages, they choose to be silent. my girlfriend asks them why, they just say that they have no interest contacting me.
one thing I want to make sure is that what we are doing is not illegal, so our visa will not be revoked.
thanks

Okay, I have to ask, what PhD program are you involved in? Your writing skills here don't seem to indicate that level of learning.

As for the rest of it, your opinion of her host guardian are, legally, irrelevant. As a minor her guardian (the teacher) has the final say in what happens. And if they really wanted to kick her out of the house and the school, it would not be all that difficult. And, if expelled, she will likely have her visa revoked and be sent home.

I will wager that you are getting this information solely from the 17 year old girl, correct? Have you ever met her in person? Have you ever met the family? It could very well be that everything you are being told is a lie. It wouldn't be the first time that someone has <gasp> lied on the internet about who they really are!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmx4twCK3_I

 

[CdwJava]

well, just forgive my writing skill. it's not the right time.

Usually you can tell something about a person by the quality of even their casual writing. Perhaps it's the texting generation that has caused so many to write so poorly.

I tried to contact the teacher, they are always forcing my girlfriend to tell them my information and phone number. but when I call them and send them messages, they choose to be silent. my girlfriend asks them why, they just say that they have no interest contacting me.
one thing I want to make sure is that what we are doing is not illegal, so our visa will not be revoked.
thanks

The guardians do not have to respond to you. In fact, as they are legally responsible for her, I'd be entirely opposed to a relationship with a 24-year-old in another state, too.

And what's this bit about "our visa" being revoked? Are you an exchange student as well?

I will repeat what has been said here so far ... the age of consent in both states is 16. However, while she can agree to leap in the sack with you, she can NOT agree to disobey her guardians. If you aid or encourage her to disobey them, you can be charged with a crime. If you encourage her to cross state lines in order to leap in the sack, the feds may get involved and that could mean very dire things for your visa (assuming you have one).

If this is "love" (or, even the more likely candidate, "lust") it will wait for a few months until she is old enough to make her own decisions and to live on her own ... assuming that her visa permits her to stay on her own.

If you truly are a PhD candidate, you are smart enough to understand this. You should also be smart enough NOT to ruin your career and educational prospects just to get close to a minor. Take a cold shower, and wait.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

I think the bottom line is OP wants to tag her before school is out and she goes back home to China. The Host family is not cooperating with his agenda.

 

[comoq3c]

basing on what you are saying, I won't be charged with a crime. then the last thing I care about is whether she will be fired by the school or not? Assuming she is really fired by the school because she breaks the school regulation, but she is not committing a crime. can she still stay here and applies for other high school?
thanks

Usually you can tell something about a person by the quality of even their casual writing. Perhaps it's the texting generation that has caused so many to write so poorly.


The guardians do not have to respond to you. In fact, as they are legally responsible for her, I'd be entirely opposed to a relationship with a 24-year-old in another state, too.

And what's this bit about "our visa" being revoked? Are you an exchange student as well?

I will repeat what has been said here so far ... the age of consent in both states is 16. However, while she can agree to leap in the sack with you, she can NOT agree to disobey her guardians. If you aid or encourage her to disobey them, you can be charged with a crime. If you encourage her to cross state lines in order to leap in the sack, the feds may get involved and that could mean very dire things for your visa (assuming you have one).

If this is "love" (or, even the more likely candidate, "lust") it will wait for a few months until she is old enough to make her own decisions and to live on her own ... assuming that her visa permits her to stay on her own.

If you truly are a PhD candidate, you are smart enough to understand this. You should also be smart enough NOT to ruin your career and educational prospects just to get close to a minor. Take a cold shower, and wait.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

basing on what you are saying, I won't be charged with a crime. then the last thing I care about is whether she will be fired by the school or not? Assuming she is really fired by the school because she breaks the school regulation, but she is not committing a crime. can she still stay here and applies for other high school?
thanks

Nope. Once the school year is over, her foreign exchange period is over and she goes home. You can be charged with a crime, which will likely result in your visa being revoked. Sorry, you do not get to take her for a test drive, prior to deciding whether to attempt a long term relationship. She cannot stay beyond the scope of her foreign exchange contract. At least you finally admitted you do not care about any consequences for her.

 

[comoq3c]

sorry, I am not quite understanding you.
the high school will decide on Monday whether to fire her or not. because she is not committing a crime, she can still go back to China and apply for another high school in USA again, even though the possibility that she still wants to come to USA is very low.
For me, what I concern most is that if I am charged with a crime for this, will I be thrown into jail or just be sent back to China? Sending back to China is what I can accept, because the life opens another door for me at least.

Nope. Once the school year is over, her foreign exchange period is over and she goes home. You can be charged with a crime, which will likely result in your visa being revoked. Sorry, you do not get to take her for a test drive, prior to deciding whether to attempt a long term relationship. She cannot stay beyond the scope of her foreign exchange contract. At least you finally admitted you do not care about any consequences for her.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

If you are charged and convicted, you can potentially be incarcerated, then deported.

 

[comoq3c]

well, then there is nothing for me to be afraid. I just do not want to waste time in jail.
all I care about is that I do not want her to be fired by the school, because she is not committing a very serious mistake

If you are charged and convicted, you can potentially be incarcerated, then deported.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

well, then there is nothing for me to be afraid. I just do not want to waste time in jail.
all I care about is that I do not want her to be fired by the school, because she is not committing a very serious mistake

Then by all means get out of here with your molesting self. No one here is going to advise you to destroy another persons life.

 

[quincy]

sorry, I am not quite understanding you.
the high school will decide on Monday whether to fire her or not. because she is not committing a crime, she can still go back to China and apply for another high school in USA again, even though the possibility that she still wants to come to USA is very low.
For me, what I concern most is that if I am charged with a crime for this, will I be thrown into jail or just be sent back to China? Sending back to China is what I can accept, because the life opens another door for me at least.

*comoq3c, you could go to jail. The possibility is there.

The possibility exists because you indicate the girl lies to her host family and lies to the school. There is no reason to believe, therefore, that she has not been lying to you and that she won't lie to the police, should they question her about her relationship with you.

Your friend could (and probably will) be sent back to China.

So, yes. Life may, indeed, open another door for you - but you may not be happy with what is through that door.



*As a note, I am leaning toward CdwJava's earlier assessment. comoq3c's writing skills are not consistent with those of a PhD candidate (from China or elsewhere). Rather, the writing is indicative of a trollish U.S. middle school student, who seriously needs to spend more time on English studies and less time playing on the internet.

 

[swalsh411]

Then by all means get out of here with your molesting self. No one here is going to advise you to destroy another persons life.

Molesting? LOL. A little heavy on the drama juice today don't you think? She is 17 not 11.

 

[OHRoadwarrior]

Molesting? LOL. A little heavy on the drama juice today don't you think? She is 17 not 11.

Not drama at all if the person doing it can be criminally charged. Perhaps you would prefer to give him your daughters contact info, so he can use her instead?

Verb

Pester or harass (someone), typically in an aggressive or persistent manner.
Assault or abuse (a person, esp. a woman or child) sexually.

 

[quincy]

There could be "drama juice" if the 17 year old girl decides to tell another lie - this time to the police and this time about consenting to a sexual relationship with her 24 year old friend.

Apparently the girl has already (and this is assuming any of comoq's story is true - which may be quite the assumption) lied to her school and lied to her host family. It is not too hard to imagine, therefore, that she might try to lie her way out of trouble by telling her host family, the school or the police that comoq molested* her or by creating some other story that could lead to comoq's arrest.





*definitions of molestation from Black's Law Dictionary: 1. the persecution or harassment of someone; 2. the act of making unwanted and indecent advances to or on someone, esp. for sexual gratification.

Child molestation would be any indecent or sexual activity on, involving, or surrounding a child, usually under the age of 14. See Fed. R. Evid. 414(d).