What is the name of your state? California
Here's the situation: My ex and I share 50-50 joint legal and physical custody. We have a 7 day every other week schedule for our kids. One week with me, one week with their mom.
My ex and I had an agreement (not signed, just a verbal arrangement) that during my week of parenting time she would care for our 2 DDs after school 2 - 3 days a week. She'd get them from school or the bus and have them at her house usually until about 4 or 5:30.
There have been some issues, mainly homework not getting done or forgetting things at their mom's house. I do worry that this arrangement makes my DDs feel like they "overnight borders" at my house sometimes.
IMO, my older DD has had a tough time of it. She's 12 and is starting to butt heads with mom more and more. There have been a few blow-ups between them, particularly over the last month or so - to the point where I'm getting calls from my DD crying about the fights (verbal, not physical) that they are having. I know there's some level of playing mom and dad off each other. She also has a pretty good load of homework now and often isn't finished it by the time I pick her up and very stressed about it.
Contrast that to the 2 or 3 days when she stays at school. Her middle school has a homework hour in the library (with at least one teacher available for turoring/homework help) for a hour after school each day. I am usually able to pick her up at the end of homework hour, but sometimes she'll need to go to the "student union" - basically after school care, monitored by high school students for 30 minutes to an hour. This time is purely social, very little school work would be done there. When I pick her up from the library or student union, she's relaxed and almost always done with all her homework.
I've finally decided that this arrangement with the BM isn't working well for my older DD. So until the end of the school year, I'm going to have my older DD go to homework hour every day and not her mom's. I'm still going to have my younger DD go to her mom's. BM is livid about it, even though this is a program that I'm having my older DD go to on my parenting time.
I'm sure I'm making the best decision for my older DD, but I wonder if there is any legal basis the BM would have for fighting this? In our MSA, we have a mediation clause, so that would be the likely venue if this escalates.
I can find only one section in my MSA (on ROFR) that might possible deal with this issue, but in my reading I don't think the homework hour would be considered child care, though the time at student might be. But it's such a short amount of time (30 - 60 mins); would it still fall under ROFR? I kind've wish we would have been more explicit in defining when ROFR comes into play, but here's the clause:
"In the event the party/parent who is scheduled to have custodial time with the chidren is not available to care for them, then the other parent shall be given the first option of caring for them. If the other parent is not available, then the parent who is regularly scheduled to have them shall make the arrangements with a 3rd part for their care in his/her absence."
Thanks in advance for any help.
Here's the situation: My ex and I share 50-50 joint legal and physical custody. We have a 7 day every other week schedule for our kids. One week with me, one week with their mom.
My ex and I had an agreement (not signed, just a verbal arrangement) that during my week of parenting time she would care for our 2 DDs after school 2 - 3 days a week. She'd get them from school or the bus and have them at her house usually until about 4 or 5:30.
There have been some issues, mainly homework not getting done or forgetting things at their mom's house. I do worry that this arrangement makes my DDs feel like they "overnight borders" at my house sometimes.
IMO, my older DD has had a tough time of it. She's 12 and is starting to butt heads with mom more and more. There have been a few blow-ups between them, particularly over the last month or so - to the point where I'm getting calls from my DD crying about the fights (verbal, not physical) that they are having. I know there's some level of playing mom and dad off each other. She also has a pretty good load of homework now and often isn't finished it by the time I pick her up and very stressed about it.
Contrast that to the 2 or 3 days when she stays at school. Her middle school has a homework hour in the library (with at least one teacher available for turoring/homework help) for a hour after school each day. I am usually able to pick her up at the end of homework hour, but sometimes she'll need to go to the "student union" - basically after school care, monitored by high school students for 30 minutes to an hour. This time is purely social, very little school work would be done there. When I pick her up from the library or student union, she's relaxed and almost always done with all her homework.
I've finally decided that this arrangement with the BM isn't working well for my older DD. So until the end of the school year, I'm going to have my older DD go to homework hour every day and not her mom's. I'm still going to have my younger DD go to her mom's. BM is livid about it, even though this is a program that I'm having my older DD go to on my parenting time.
I'm sure I'm making the best decision for my older DD, but I wonder if there is any legal basis the BM would have for fighting this? In our MSA, we have a mediation clause, so that would be the likely venue if this escalates.
I can find only one section in my MSA (on ROFR) that might possible deal with this issue, but in my reading I don't think the homework hour would be considered child care, though the time at student might be. But it's such a short amount of time (30 - 60 mins); would it still fall under ROFR? I kind've wish we would have been more explicit in defining when ROFR comes into play, but here's the clause:
"In the event the party/parent who is scheduled to have custodial time with the chidren is not available to care for them, then the other parent shall be given the first option of caring for them. If the other parent is not available, then the parent who is regularly scheduled to have them shall make the arrangements with a 3rd part for their care in his/her absence."
Thanks in advance for any help.
