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all in one thread, ignore the rest, how's this work for ya dequeendistress?

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What is the name of your state? wisconsin

hopefully this will stop or at least clear up any confusion there has been about my posts....

“ hey all, i'm kinda confused on what to do about the situation my wife are in with her ex. within the past 6 months we have had the police over 3-4 times concerning him for anything from him walking into my house to threatening his kids. this past thursday he threatened both my wife and me with death threats. the police said it wasn't very "high risk" and said there wasn't much they could do. i called his probation officer and told her, she through him in jail. he got out yesterday, the kids don't want to go to his house or even his parents house but yet we tere told if we don't make them go we can be held in contempt. isn't something that has been thought through and planned differently for each pe4rson " premeditated"? and should the police have done some thing more than just trying to call him? and lastly, what can we do about him telling the kids how he is "going to harm their mother or me"? i flat out feel he is a dead beat and should not be around his kids at all for other reasons that i am not sure i can post on here. thanks for any advice.

we were told to file contempt charges by the courts so we got the paperwork from them. but the papers involve us getting all his financial statements, first off. how are we supposed to get those? secondly he just quit( supposedly) his job but i know for a fact he's working two different ones. but he's getting cash and therefore has no paper trail to follow for all the med. bills and insurance he owes her for the past year and a few months. now we showed the paperwork to our attorney and he told us not to even mess with it and to just tell the courts "he's in contempt and that you want him charged." so we talked to a judge we know ( a friend of her mom's) and he said we have to fill the paperwork out. just seems like we are getting the run around from everyone

what has been going on is death threats to me and my new wife , threats to the boys and some abuse to the boys ( 8 yrs old). this is all coming from her ex and his parents, so his po threw him in jail about 2 weeks ago and got out last week tuesday. when the boys came home my wife and i were told by the boys that their grandfather( using very loosely because any grand parent that threatens their grand children don't deserve it in my eyes) made the boys call their fathers po and tell her"theyloved him and missed him and to please let him out of jail" all while telling them if they didn't he was going to burn their a*s's. there have been threat to kill the puppy we have just gotten for the kids and things to that nature. so i talked to the po and she told me to have our attorney supena her into court and she would "gladly" come in.

after a long talk with my wifes ex-husbands probation officer the other day she told me to have our attorney supena her into court. she has had quite a few talks "interviews" as she calls them, with my two step boys and after hearing things they have said she called to tell me to have this done.

i have just gotten all the reports we have on file for our up coming court case. after going through and reading the reports over and over, none of them are what was said during the time the police were at our house. we have filed reports for death threats, abuse to kids and threats to the kids. the officers had talked with us and the kids and the reports aren't even close to what was said. they make it sound like my wife and i are just causeing problems or are trying to be vendictive. is this going to completely mess with us during court? and what should we do about them. they are close in the fact of why they were called but when it comes to the " descrption of the report" its entirely different”

these have been condensed in to this one thread so it is all in one place. all are quoted because they were all taken right off my other threads to be put here. i apologize to everyone for the length and confusion during this whole time.



Senior Member
Oh no

It is way too long...

I am kidding....

I am also not one to look to for approval ...I am a mere peon.

Good job getting it all in one place...I will read it when I get back with my bottle of wine...

Sorry must go report in


( bows)........ thank you , thank you....... i think i may have got it right this time.....haha.
hope the wine don't go to quick... i'd hate to see what the replies would be like.......



Senior Member
i called his probation officer and told her, she through him in jail.
OK so was he in jail due to the threats he made? If so regardless of what the police said to you there was a report showing there was cause for action, correct?

but yet we tere told if we don't make them go we can be held in contempt
This may be true according to an original visitation schedule that did not reflect the current circumstances...but WHO told you about possible contempt? Have you tried to go back to court and have the schedule changed due to current circumstance and ask the judge for supervised or no visitation due to the death threats and be sure to bring your proof and YES have the probation officer accompany you. (by subpoena)

Should the police do more than call him?
Don't know exactly what the police were told and the complete circumstance...did the police mention terrositic threatening? Which is hard to prove in court, but why was it he was in jail? He went to jail, correct?

we were told to file contempt charges by the courts
Contempt of what? You mention financial statements, is this for non support? If he is not paying child support then I would think the burden of proof would be his.

You talked to your attorney, how come your attorney is not advising you of what to do or filing for you? I say screw the paperwork, complete it with the information you know about where he works and how he is paid and write you have no way of proving it other than a possible explanation of how you know the information.

The police reports are written in the perception of the officer reporting it appears. You have no control over how the report is written, hopefully the report has the minimum of the facts. Just when they are presented if there is any clarification needed beyond the report, I would state this to the judge. Police reports should be void of the officers personal opinion, but not all officers are good and some good officers don't write a good report.

Do I think the PO officer will be of your benefit...based on your post yes.

Importantly if you feel the way you state and are in fear of the childrens and your wifes safety I would follow thru. I would try for a protection order for the children and your wife. In the least I would try for scheduled supervised visitation and not allow the man back on your property...There are several ways this can be worded your attorney should be able to do this easily.

I am curious as to the nature of the original charge which resulted him being on probation.

Now, there may be other readers with clearer and more precise advice.

Good luck.
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ok this will take time to answer and i may have to do it in a few different posts, because i am at work and am getting thrown around like a rag doll here.LOL..

first off the original reason he is on probation is the charges was:
" obstucion/resisting an officer"

he got a suspended 90 day jail term with conditions.. he had to go to a AODA classes, and 1 year of probation. any violation would compence the jail term.
so far he has not gone to AODA classes be cause he claims he's injured and can't work, his po said its hard to force someone to go when they are on pain killers( the same he was abusing in the first place) but yet says he's a complete liar. and that he lies about everything. even stated that he was "nuts" and doesn't like dealing with him at all.

as for the attorney..... he said we didn't have to fill the paperwork out , just to go to the court house and say he's in contempt and we want him held. now we have him filing the motion because we didn't want to get scr*wed if we did something wrong mistakenly.

he has been warned several times not to come on or in my property, the last was when he walked in my house uninvited and i pushed him out the door, the whole time telling me that i could not tell him what to do. that it wasn't my house. i was going to throw the paperwork in his face with my john henry on it but decided to walk away and report it. now there is a report stateing he is not to enter the property at all, land or house.

as for contemt charges on us... who told us?.

the judge threatened to throw my wife in jail because of it. she also stated that if it happens again she will be for contempt.

no mention of terroristic threat by the police were made. he did go to jail but not because of the police. they had stopped at his house( no answer), then called him on his cell( no answer), then they called his po. his po is the one that had him put in jail.

i think this covers all your questions. ( i hope) if not i'll be back on shortly. thanks again!



OOPS. i think i forgot some thing here... you also asked what the contempt charges were for. if they were for non child support payments or not.

the charges would be for the non payment of the order to him to pay the 1/2 insurance and 1/2 medical bills on the kids( which he has not done since Sept. of '02.

and yes on the police reports it shows just cause for action from the threats.

now this should cover everything.... we go to court on Wednesday about the child support differences, according to the state's lawyer, he expects this to go back to the original amount due to the fact he has supoenaed a balliff into court also.


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