any answers? ;o)

[gina573]

I live in Missouri, and have lived here for over a month now, though I have lived between Kansas, Missouri and California over the past few years. I am 17 years old and will turn 18 this summer, but I am planning to move in with my boyfriend(whom I've known for years) this Christmas. The problem here is that my dad(who I am currently living with)does not want me to move with him, and very likely I will just end up leaving in the middle of the night soon. My question is this: Is there any legal recourse that my father or mother (who lives in another state and wants little to do with me) can take that would force me to move back with them until my 18th birthday? From what little I know about MO law, at 17, I should be able to move where and when I want to...I think.

 

[REParker819]

You are still a minor. Why cant you just wait until summer when you can be legal and move then? If your boyfriend loves you, then he will wait. Your parents still have the right to say what you can and cannot do. Just give it time. Family is everything. One day you may need them, though you think now that you dont. You dont want to alienate yourself from your parents. Another few months isnt going to hurt anything, if the two of you really love each other.

 

[gina573]

Well, I do care about my father(who I am with now), but he is an alcoholic, and can be abusive at times (though only verbally recently). Me and my boyfriend love each other a great deal, or we wouldnt even consider this option--but I am just unhappy where I am now. I have been tossed from mom to dad so many times, that I feel as though I am nothing more than baggage, and I am tired of it. I do realize that at some point I may need my family (or what few of them that I get along with), but I really am at my wits end--so many times I feel that the only person that truly 'loves' me is my bf, because he has been with me through thick and thin. I had planned all along to leave simply when I turned 18, but I'm growing very tired of waiting.
REParker, so what you are telling me is that my father DOES have the right to come and forcibly remove me from my boyfriends residence?
(I consulted a local lawyer this morning, and he told me that he could think of no reason off the top of his head that my father could force me to come back with him.--But I'm looking for a solid answer, not an 'i dunno'.)

 

[REParker819]

Gina, I can understand how you feel. Lawyers out there, any ideas? I am not a lawyer, so I dont know about the laws on emancipation. Have you sat down and talked to your father again? Like him or not, he is your dad. I am confused about what the lawyer told you. I would think since you are a minor still, he would have every right to come and take you back. report you as a runaway, and have the police haul you in. IAAL, Legal Beagle, Lady Blu (anyone else that is knowledgable that I forgot, no, i do not think you are chopped liver!), what do you guys know about emancipation in her state?

 

[gina573]

Contrary to what both of us feel(me and my bf), I have made the decision that I will stay with my father at least until the summer starts. I hate it here, and these next 6 months ARE going to be pure hell for me (heh, could be worse, I guess my dad could send me back to my mom again). If there is any chance that they can come take me out of my bf's house and niether of us can do anything about it, we decided that it would be worth just waiting a while longer. Thanks REP for your advice, and even though I would just love to throw it out the window and do what me and my bf know is the right thing, it appears that I am restricted by laws that bind family together even when it is non-functional.

 

[REParker819]

Gina, good luck with that. I am sure it must be hard, i know what it is like to have a purely disfunctional family. If you need any more support, email me and I will gladly give it. [email protected]

Rebecca

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Very nice job, Rebecca. You didn't need me after all. I wanted to see how this young lady's post would "play out" and she's made a wise decision, based in no small part to you encouraging assistance.

Our writer didn't necessarily need the "law". She needed, and received, a caring shoulder and someone to just listen.

IAAL

 

[REParker819]

Thanks IAAL. I appreciate the pat on the back. I really hope things work out for her. I know how hard living with an alcoholic father is. But it takes time and patience. I am sure she has made the right decision.

 

[gina573]

Well, 'right decision' is not exactly what I would call it. As I said, my bf and I love each other very much and every part of me knows that my life would be so much fuller with him--but if both of us are gonna have to put up with grief AND not be able to be together, well, I guess I would have to choose the lesser of two evils and not be with him now. Everyone says that it's the 'right decision', but even hearing that saddens me, because I don't think it is the right decision...and niether does the only person in my life that really wants what is best for me (and us). I truly cannot wait until I'm 18--maybe then I can finally make the decisions that I already know are the 'right' ones.

Thx again ;o)

 

[REParker819]

Gina, maybe it's not the right decision for you RIGHT NOW! Use this time to establish a better relationship with your dad. Your mom too. Parents are very important. I am happy about the decision you have made, its the only good choice you have. Good luck!