Appeal?

[Fairy4]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? VA

My ex & went to court on 9-15-05. My attorney says to expect an appeal. The GAL stated that the children were better off to stay with me. Ex was granted every other weekend visitation, and over night every Wednesday; which I have no problem with at all.

Ex called me last Thursday night, saying that he had received a copy of our orders and agreed with everything except one thing:

Since neither my ex or I have dental insurance offered to us through our respective employers, my attorney asked the judge if she submitted an order would he sign it to allow my husband to put dental insurance on the kids (it wasn't open enrollment so the insurance company was requesting a court order). My ex feels that my attorney "slipped" this in & the judge just signed it; and that it wasn't discussed in court...which it was! My ex even had a court reporter (which he paid for) there. Wouldn't that subject be in her report?? When he called he wanted to know "how much" the dental insurance will cost? I didn't have any intention of requesting that he cover the cost; even though the judge clearly stated that I could petition the court to recover the dental insurance expenses for the children. I can only assume that he has a problem with the amount of child support he was ordered to pay (including arrearages it's $1100 per month), but I tried to work it out with him, but he wanted to take the matter to court. Ex stated that "he should be ordered to put dental on the kids", and "did I understand why he was upset?"

My question is this: Is an appeal really going to change anything? I'm so aggrevated that this is just going to cost more in attorney's fees for no reason! Also, can the judge at the appeal make my husband do away with the dental insurance he has just put on the kids, so that my ex can find a dental policy outside of his work?

My ex used to provide clothing, etc for the kids when they were with him, since the court date he has requested me to provide everything. Down to toothbrushes, clothing, etc. Everything is returned filthy in a plastic bag. He also requests that I send each child (3) with breakfast & lunch money when they go with him on Wednesday evening for the following day; so that they can eat breakfast & lunch at school. Will this recent behavior have any effect on his case if he appeals?

I have been sure to be very cooperative with him (ex: letting him take the kids when it's not schedulled, etc) Making sure that I inform him of school related information, and other info concerning the kids. He also has been cooperative, although his wife is/has always been a pain!

 

[kat1963]

If he wasn't given credit for the cost of the new dental coverage when support was calculated then yes, he'll have to appeal....and it's likely the court will modify it accordingly.
Other then that, I don't understand what your lawyer means by "there will be an appeal". He can't appeal simply because he didn't like the custody ruling.
KAT

 

[betterthanher]

What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? VA

My ex & went to court on 9-15-05. My attorney says to expect an appeal. The GAL stated that the children were better off to stay with me. Ex was granted every other weekend visitation, and over night every Wednesday; which I have no problem with at all.

Ex called me last Thursday night, saying that he had received a copy of our orders and agreed with everything except one thing:

Since neither my ex or I have dental insurance offered to us through our respective employers, my attorney asked the judge if she submitted an order would he sign it to allow my husband to put dental insurance on the kids (it wasn't open enrollment so the insurance company was requesting a court order). My ex feels that my attorney "slipped" this in & the judge just signed it; and that it wasn't discussed in court...which it was! My ex even had a court reporter (which he paid for) there. Wouldn't that subject be in her report?? When he called he wanted to know "how much" the dental insurance will cost? I didn't have any intention of requesting that he cover the cost; even though the judge clearly stated that I could petition the court to recover the dental insurance expenses for the children. I can only assume that he has a problem with the amount of child support he was ordered to pay (including arrearages it's $1100 per month), but I tried to work it out with him, but he wanted to take the matter to court. Ex stated that "he should be ordered to put dental on the kids", and "did I understand why he was upset?"

My question is this: Is an appeal really going to change anything? I'm so aggrevated that this is just going to cost more in attorney's fees for no reason! Also, can the judge at the appeal make my husband do away with the dental insurance he has just put on the kids, so that my ex can find a dental policy outside of his work?

He could appeal to have him carry the dental insurance. If he wants to carry dental on the children, then let him. What's the big deal? Isn't this something you two can workout among yourself and have a Judge sign off on it?

The court would only be interested in the children having coverage in general. If your ex wants to cover the dental, then he could be ordered to provide it and where he gets the coverage is up to him.

My ex used to provide clothing, etc for the kids when they were with him, since the court date he has requested me to provide everything. Down to toothbrushes, clothing, etc. Everything is returned filthy in a plastic bag. He also requests that I send each child (3) with breakfast & lunch money when they go with him on Wednesday evening for the following day; so that they can eat breakfast & lunch at school. Will this recent behavior have any effect on his case if he appeals?

Is this spelled out in the order? The only thing that will be addressed at appeals is what issue(s) are brought to the attention of the court.

Usually, the CP is responsible for providing clothing and other necessities during the visitation period with the other parent.

And usually, each parent is responsible for costs incurred while the child is in their possession. If he's making that big of a deal over lunch money, then just provide it.

I have been sure to be very cooperative with him (ex: letting him take the kids when it's not schedulled, etc) Making sure that I inform him of school related information, and other info concerning the kids. He also has been cooperative, although his wife is/has always been a pain!

You are supposed to provide that kind of information to him -- he is entitled to it.

 

[Fairy4]

Kat:

It was My husband (children's step-father) that was ordered to put dental on the kids, not their father my ex. So you're saying that a judge could over turn that decision and let the kids' father put dental on them?

From what I understand that's why he's filing an appeal. From what my attorney said, ex and his attorney filed the appeal before the judge gave his decision on 9-15-05 (there was a little recess). My attorney called the court house and asked about it, and the clerk said that the appeal was filed on that day at 3:15 p.m. before the hearing was over, but that it couldn't be processed until the court order was in the system. Since my attorney was the one writing the order up I guess she took her sweet time, because it wasn't filed until the 6th of October. If it's going to appeal, then won't I receive the paperwork soon? Or can they wait months?

 

[betterthanher]

Kat:

It was My husband (children's step-father) that was ordered to put dental on the kids, not their father my ex. So you're saying that a judge could over turn that decision and let the kids' father put dental on them?

You should have mentioned this rather important bit o' info at the start. Why was your husband, who is a legal stranger to these children, ordered to provide insurance on kids that are not his responsibility?

Or did you offer this, hence the Judge stating you could go after your ex to recover the costs of dental insurance?

If your husband already has them on, he would need to check about having them removed. He could be stuck until another open-enrollment, unless they have a policy of removing per a court order.

Yes, if the father wants to cover them, then a Judge will allow that...especially since it's his and your responsibility -- not your husbands.

From what I understand that's why he's filing an appeal. From what my attorney said, ex and his attorney filed the appeal before the judge gave his decision on 9-15-05 (there was a little recess). My attorney called the court house and asked about it, and the clerk said that the appeal was filed on that day at 3:15 p.m. before the hearing was over, but that it couldn't be processed until the court order was in the system. Since my attorney was the one writing the order up I guess she took her sweet time, because it wasn't filed until the 6th of October. If it's going to appeal, then won't I receive the paperwork soon? Or can they wait months?

It depends on their caseload. And with the holidays quickly approaching...

Again, is this something you really need to go back to court for?? Can't one of the attorneys simply draw up the paperwork reflecting the change in coverage, the child support amount reflecting that and file it with the court and have the Judge sign it??

 

[tigger22472]

You should have mentioned this rather important bit o' info at the start. Why was your husband, who is a legal stranger to these children, ordered to provide insurance on kids that are not his responsibility?

um... she did. Reread her original post (and it's not edited)

OP I'm lost as to what they think they were appeal and what ERROR they think was made. As far as the dental if they order he is to pay a percentage of that it will readjust the CS but that's all I see. I also don't understand how they could appeal something that wasn't ordered yet, doesn't make sense.

 

[Fairy4]

He could appeal to have him carry the dental insurance. If he wants to carry dental on the children, then let him. What's the big deal? Isn't this something you two can workout among yourself and have a Judge sign off on it? The court would only be interested in the children having coverage in general. If your ex wants to cover the dental, then he could be ordered to provide it and where he gets the coverage is up to him.

He kept saying he was going to do just that, but never did, yet he was complaining in court that I didn't carry any dental on the kids? I guess the "big deal" would be that if my husband already has dental on the kids by the time we get to the appeal, it's the hassle of taking them off, then having to wait until my ex gets them covered. Anyway, if my husband has coverage then it's not costing the ex a dime!! Ex is the one with the issue...I've patiently waited for him to put dental on the kids for almost a year, he kept saying he was going to but never did.

Is this spelled out in the order? The only thing that will be addressed at appeals is what issue(s) are brought to the attention of the court. Usually, the CP is responsible for providing clothing and other necessities during the visitation period with the other parent. And usually, each parent is responsible for costs incurred while the child is in their possession. If he's making that big of a deal over lunch money, then just provide it.

Our order says nothing either way. Personally I've never heard of anyone's court order requesting that the CP provide shampoo, soap, toothpaste, lunch money, etc when the kids are with NCP! Clothing, maybe...but the other requests are silly! I send them only because I don't want the kids to do without. So if NCP asks for $$ to go out to eat with the kids when he's got them I'm suppose to give it to him? That's not going to happen! What reasoning does he suddenly have for requesting these things? My guess is simply to be a jerk!

You are supposed to provide that kind of information to him -- he is entitled to it.

I always have given him this info, I was just stating that we were both trying to be very civil and detailed with eachother now.

 

[betterthanher]

um... she did. Reread her original post (and it's not edited)

Yep, she did and I stand corrected. There's the word "husband" buried in there.

 

[betterthanher]

He kept saying he was going to do just that, but never did, yet he was complaining in court that I didn't carry any dental on the kids? I guess the "big deal" would be that if my husband already has dental on the kids by the time we get to the appeal, it's the hassle of taking them off, then having to wait until my ex gets them covered. Anyway, if my husband has coverage then it's not costing the ex a dime!! Ex is the one with the issue...I've patiently waited for him to put dental on the kids for almost a year, he kept saying he was going to but never did.

Actually it WILL cost your ex because his child support amount will reflect that he is NOT providing that coverage. Just like if he would provide it, the amount he would be ordered to pay would reflect that.

Our order says nothing either way. Personally I've never heard of anyone's court order requesting that the CP provide shampoo, soap, toothpaste, lunch money, etc when the kids are with NCP! Clothing, maybe...but the other requests are silly! I send them only because I don't want the kids to do without. So if NCP asks for $$ to go out to eat with the kids when he's got them I'm suppose to give it to him? That's not going to happen! What reasoning does he suddenly have for requesting these things? My guess is simply to be a jerk!

You're mentioning lunch money and going out to eat. Two different things. If he's going to take them out to eat, then he is responsible for that cost. Can he not cook? LOL For him to expect you to pay for that is...well, pretty funny. And a Judge would laugh at him, too.

It shouldn't be a big deal for the NCP to have toiletries (he does use them, doesn't he?? LOL). But if he's going to get his undies THAT MUCH in a bunch, then pack some trial sizes with the children and make sure you get them back if he's going to be that anal. You might also want to include a "checklist" of things you send with the kids to make sure what you send comes back.

 

[Fairy4]

During our hearing my attorney stated to the judge:

"Since the father (my ex) has a problem with the children not having dental insurance would you sign the court order needed for the step-father to cover them." The judge agreed. Both my ex and his attorney were present, and neither spoke up and said they disagreed to anything. So then the judge said that he would sign the order so that the kids would have coverage.

My husband and I have no problem paying for the entire expense of the dental coverage. I'm not going to seek out reimbursement from my ex. That's just nit-picking as far as I'm concerned!

I know the appeal doesn't make much sense. My attorney doesn't understand how they could file an appeal before the judge handed down his decision? She guesses it was that he knew what the GAL recommendation would be before we went to court (both attorneys got that information 3 days before we went to court). Maybe the GAL thought by giving our attorneys the info before hand that we all could work out an agreement before we went to court. My attorney did try, and my ex's attorney stated "we'll appeal it if we have to!" Can they assign a new GAL??

Thanks Tigger...I thought maybe I made an error in my first post!

 

[betterthanher]

During our hearing my attorney stated to the judge:

"Since the father (my ex) has a problem with the children not having dental insurance would you sign the court order needed for the step-father to cover them." The judge agreed. Both my ex and his attorney were present, and neither spoke up and said they disagreed to anything. So then the judge said that he would sign the order so that the kids would have coverage.

My husband and I have no problem paying for the entire expense of the dental coverage. I'm not going to seek out reimbursement from my ex. That's just nit-picking as far as I'm concerned!

I know the appeal doesn't make much sense. My attorney doesn't understand how they could file an appeal before the judge handed down his decision? She guesses it was that he knew what the GAL recommendation would be before we went to court (both attorneys got that information 3 days before we went to court). Maybe the GAL thought by giving our attorneys the info before hand that we all could work out an agreement before we went to court. My attorney did try, and my ex's attorney stated "we'll appeal it if we have to!" Can they assign a new GAL??

Thanks Tigger...I thought maybe I made an error in my first post!

At this point, I'd just sit back and wait for the ruling or any paperwork that is filed. If him and his attorney failed to speak up, then they very well could be denied their appeal. But, wait to see what happens.

 

[tigger22472]

I know the appeal doesn't make much sense. My attorney doesn't understand how they could file an appeal before the judge handed down his decision? She guesses it was that he knew what the GAL recommendation would be before we went to court (both attorneys got that information 3 days before we went to court). Maybe the GAL thought by giving our attorneys the info before hand that we all could work out an agreement before we went to court. My attorney did try, and my ex's attorney stated "we'll appeal it if we have to!" Can they assign a new GAL??

They could request a new GAL but it would it probably wouldn't be granted. An appeal for this reason doesn't make sense because a GAL gives recommendations.. UNLESS he has come up with a reason as to why the GAL would be bias and it had better be good.

 

[Fairy4]

Actually it WILL cost your ex because his child support amount will reflect that he is NOT providing that coverage. Just like if he would provide it, the amount he would be ordered to pay would reflect that.

What if I don't request to be reimbursed? If my ex (NCP) goes and purchases an insurance policy in the street, it's going to cost him twice as much as my husband's does...and more than likely it wouldn't be as good of coverage.

You're mentioning lunch money and going out to eat. Two different things. If he's going to take them out to eat, then he is responsible for that cost. Can he not cook? LOL For him to expect you to pay for that is...well, pretty funny. And a Judge would laugh at him, too.

Funny...he never asked for lunch or breakfast money for the kids before court??? I think a judge would laugh at him anyway!

It shouldn't be a big deal for the NCP to have toiletries (he does use them, doesn't he?? LOL). But if he's going to get his undies THAT MUCH in a bunch, then pack some trial sizes with the children and make sure you get them back if he's going to be that anal. You might also want to include a "checklist" of things you send with the kids to make sure what you send comes back.

Evidently this is yet another attempt to piss me off! I packed 3 toothbrushes, a new tube of toothpaste, a new bar of soap, new bottle of shampoo; and told him to keep these at his house. Needless to say they come back each time unopened and unused! So I can't help but assume he only asked to "get me going"...too bad it didn't work. I keep sending all of this each time, regardless! Our oldest asked his wife (step-mother) why they needed to bring toothbrushes from home when they already had some there; and step-mother got up and threw the toothbrushes they already had there in the trash, and told our daughter..."now you don't have any here!"

 

[Fairy4]

They could request a new GAL but it would it probably wouldn't be granted. An appeal for this reason doesn't make sense because a GAL gives recommendations.. UNLESS he has come up with a reason as to why the GAL would be bias and it had better be good.

Not sure what their excuse for a new GAL could be? When the GAL was assigned to our case the judge asked both of us if we agreed to using him...we both answered yes! We live in a small town, and I know where the GAL's office is, etc. but I've never spoken to him, or seen him until our case came about!

At this point, I'd just sit back and wait for the ruling or any paperwork that is filed. If him and his attorney failed to speak up, then they very well could be denied their appeal. But, wait to see what happens.

I guess that I'll have to do just that. I just hate wasting money on something like this. I understand the original court proceedings but an appeal just because he didn't get his way?? Can I sue him for my attorney fees for the appeal if nothing is changed?? Just wondering!

Word has it (told to me by a mutual friend of mine abd my ex's) that my ex is going to get a new attorney for the appeal because his "wasn't worth sh*t!"

 

[Fairy4]

It never ceases to amaze me...

...that my ex can come up with the most outrageous reasons to call me!

I just got off the phone with him! He called to talk to the kids (which is fine), then asked to speak with me. He said that he went to eat lunch with our oldest today at school, and that she didn't eat much of her sandwich. His "fix" to the situation is to pack them less to eat for their lunch! And I quote: "Just pack a sandwich, a drink and one snack!" That then she'd eat her sandwich. Evidently he doesn't understand children's logistics. She still wouldn't eat the sandwich, and be hungry for the rest of the day. At least by packing enough food, even if she doesn't eat the sandwich she has plenty of other healthy food to eat!

This is insane! Now he's calling to tell me what to pack in their lunches??? The same person who COULD pack their lunches when they stay with him on Wednesday nights; but instead asks ME to either pack their lunch or send them with lunch money??

There really needs to be another planet to send parents like these to...that way they wouldn't ruin our gene pool and they could bred amongst themselves! I'm not sure when he became this way...he really wasn't a "bad" person when I was with him. Sure we had issues or we wouldn't be apart...