Many ex-wives do get alimony despite the same arguments from husbands that you have. And I believe YOU would ask for and receive alimony if the roles were reversed.This isn't about me "controlling" him, it is about his "ability" to earn more than he currently is so he is purposely keeping himself underemployed. So no, I can't and have no intention of asking the court to "force" him to do anything. Bringing up the argument to the judge is about me showing that he has the ability if he chooses to to earn more money and if he CHOOSES not to fine but I shouldn't have to pay him just because he doesn't want to get off his rear and actually play grown up.
Here are the facts you have given:
1. You have a long term marriage as defined by your state statutes.
2. You clearly have more earning power than he does.
3. He could not maintain the current standard of living that he is accustom to without some of your money.
4. You married him and allowed his behaviour for 12 years that you now object to.
Sounds like you don't want to play by the same rules when wives ask for and receive alimony.