army child custody related question

[Silverplum]

so would that mean that we (our divorce) would fall under the TX laws instead of california?

Moot point. Doesn't matter. It's a TX divorce now.

 

[CeeP3oh]

Oh gosh, he raped you? Then why didn't you press charges?

look, i didnt ask for him to cheat on me. i didnt ask for any of this. preferrably, i wouldnt rather go through this mess but i have to.

i came in here for ADVICE and not snide remarks by an "anonymous" poster on a freeadvice legal forum.

so keep at it with your comments if it makes you feel better.

 

[Ohiogal]

so would that mean that we (our divorce) would fall under the TX laws instead of california?

At this point yes, the divorce, custody and support are under TX laws and NOT CA. Tx will retain jursidiction so long as ONE PARENT resides in that state.

 

[Ohiogal]

look, i didnt ask for him to cheat on me. i didnt ask for any of this. preferrably, i wouldnt rather go through this mess but i have to.

i came in here for ADVICE and not snide remarks by an "anonymous" poster on a freeadvice legal forum.

so keep at it with your comments if it makes you feel better.

How's about you start breathing and try to get with what you are being told. You are so full of emotion but it does NOT matter. What you FEEL matters NOT. The law is NOT emotional. So kill the emotions.

 

[SimplyMom]

how do i figure this amount out?

and thank you for the advice.

Go here: http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/perdiem/bah.html

Enter his duty zip code and his grade. Subtract his single rate from his dependant rate. This is the minimum he's required to pay according to the military.

However, when there's a court order for a higher amount he has to abide by that and the military will also hold him to it. In some states you can chose whether or not the child support services division handles the child support, make sure you chose to use them. They can work with the military to have the amount automatically garnished from his check and sent directly to you before he even sees it.

*Reading this might make it sound like I'm trying to help "get" dad for money, that's not the case. I'm just trying to make sure their child get's the support he needs and the military makes that easy as long as you take the right steps.

 

[CeeP3oh]

How's about you start breathing and try to get with what you are being told. You are so full of emotion but it does NOT matter. What you FEEL matters NOT. The law is NOT emotional. So kill the emotions.

i know. i came in here for advice on what would be the probability of a full custody and some advice on what i should do. i didnt know where to go or even where to start.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

Also, since you are still a dependant you can go to your local base legal services and get advice. When I did this, because we have 4 children they gave me a form that stated I was entitled to 1/2 of his pay until otherwise ordered by the court. With that document I was able to get an apartment etc which I would not have qualified otherwise for because my pay isn't 3x that of my rent. Legal services cannot give you advice on the divorce proceedings though.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Look up long+distance+parenting+plan and texas also.

 

[CeeP3oh]

Go here: Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH)

Enter his duty zip code and his grade. Subtract his single rate from his dependant rate. This is the minimum he's required to pay according to the military.

However, when there's a court order for a higher amount he has to abide by that and the military will also hold him to it. In some states you can chose whether or not the child support services division handles the child support, make sure you chose to use them. They can work with the military to have the amount automatically garnished from his check and sent directly to you before he even sees it.

*Reading this might make it sound like I'm trying to help "get" dad for money, that's not the case. I'm just trying to make sure their child get's the support he needs and the military makes that easy as long as you take the right steps.

wow, i just did the calculation and its a low amount. however, according to our decree, its way more than that.

i guess i'll have to take the appropriate steps to get his chain of command a part of this.

 

[SimplyMom]

i know. i came in here for advice on what would be the probability of a full custody and some advice on what i should do. i didnt know where to go or even where to start.

What are you looking for as far as full custody? Do you not want dad to have any visitation or legal say in your son?

What is the custody agreement that is currently pending?

 

[CeeP3oh]

Also, since you are still a dependant you can go to your local base legal services and get advice. When I did this, because we have 4 children they gave me a form that stated I was entitled to 1/2 of his pay until otherwise ordered by the court. With that document I was able to get an apartment etc which I would not have qualified otherwise for because my pay isn't 3x that of my rent. Legal services cannot give you advice on the divorce proceedings though.

good advice, thank you. i'll look into that. i know that the nearest army base here is actually a reserve base.

 

[SimplyMom]

Also, since you are still a dependant you can go to your local base legal services and get advice. When I did this, because we have 4 children they gave me a form that stated I was entitled to 1/2 of his pay until otherwise ordered by the court. With that document I was able to get an apartment etc which I would not have qualified otherwise for because my pay isn't 3x that of my rent. Legal services cannot give you advice on the divorce proceedings though.

1/2 his pay!? Wow. Did dad not keep the kids at all?

The difficulty in her case (from the way the military is going to look at it) is that they have "shared" custody. So they're not going to "take" a lot of dad's pay because they assume that he also has to provide for their child.

 

[CeeP3oh]

What are you looking for as far as full custody? Do you not want dad to have any visitation or legal say in your son?

What is the custody agreement that is currently pending?

yes, full custody. meaning stripping him of his rights. but i already know thats going to be a hard battle.

as for the custody agreement that currently pending.... spring break in odd and even years between us as well as holidays, alternative period weekends (not more than one weekend per month)...etc.

 

[Newlydivmomto4]

1/2 his pay!? Wow. Did dad not keep the kids at all?

The difficulty in her case (from the way the military is going to look at it) is that they have "shared" custody. So they're not going to "take" a lot of dad's pay because they assume that he also has to provide for their child.

No, he rents a room in a house that he agreed on the lease not to have kids in the house. He sees them every Saturday for about 5 hours. He's moving across the country in 2 wks, so the visitation will be even less. As it is, the court ordered child support comes to about 45% of his pay.

 

[AHA]

yes, full custody. meaning stripping him of his rights.

I get that you are bitter that he cheated on you, but that is not a good enough reason to keep your child and his father apart for the rest of their lives. It's not about you anymore, it's about the kid, and the kid deserves the chance to have a relationship with both of his parents. That is what a good parent would easily understand.