Arrest Warrant - Hiding for 1 year - wants to turn himself in

[paulat]

Outonbail: He is a guy who got caught up in the system. Out of the 3 wives he had - 2 got pregnant after saying they were on birth control (then they had to get married) and he didn't want anymore children with his last wife but she did. The courts most always side with the mother-when it takes 2 to have a child. Then what I don't understand is - how does someone survive when more than half their income is going to child support. He never had enough money to pay rent so eventually he lost his apartment - now he has lost everything. he is a good guy with a good heart and the more time goes by without seeing his children, he is getting deeper and deeper into depression and just doesn't want to do anything. it's very depressing for me to see him shell out day after day....this is why i am now looking into what the consequences will be.

I will be paying the attorney fees and helping him with back child support payments. i feel partly responsible for his situtation.

 

[moburkes]

Paula, stop talking. Like, now.

 

[outonbail]

Paula, stop talking. Like, now.

Really, I agree. I'm sorry to say, but someone needs to slap you up the side of your head and bring you back to reality!

he is a good guy with a good heart and the more time goes by without seeing his children, he is getting deeper and deeper into depression and just doesn't want to do anything. it's very depressing for me to see him shell out day after day....this is why i am now looking into what the consequences will be.

You should be looking into a new boyfriend rather than letting this one drag you down into his miserable "poor me" life of excuses!

I will be paying the attorney fees and helping him with back child support payments. i feel partly responsible for his situation.

How did this guy ever convince you that you are partly responsible? Were you there when he planted the seed? Did you guide it in for him? Were you there in the bed holding him down when he wanted to pull out? Did you poke holes in his condoms? If the answer is no to all of these questions, THEN YOU ARE NOT THE LEAST BIT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS CHILDREN!

If he can't get a job for over a year he's either a drug addict, a complete moron or the laziest SOB on earth. Stop supporting him and stop making excuses for him. Tell him to man up and do something constructive instead of sitting around feeling sorry for himself!

 

[Ohiogal]

Outonbail: He is a guy who got caught up in the system. Out of the 3 wives he had - 2 got pregnant after saying they were on birth control (then they had to get married)

Birth control is not 100%. Only abstinence is. And there is NO LAW stating that someone has to get married if they get pregnant. He made that decision. he also made the decision to have sex and have children.

and he didn't want anymore children with his last wife but she did.

Then he should NOT have had sex.

The courts most always side with the mother-when it takes 2 to have a child.

Actually the court sides with the child in that they believe BOTH parents shoudl support said child.

Then what I don't understand is - how does someone survive when more than half their income is going to child support.

Several ways -- keep paid up on child support so that there are no arrears. Get a better job. Work more than one job. Ask for a downward deviation if income changes. Quit having sex.

He never had enough money to pay rent so eventually he lost his apartment - now he has lost everything.

How did he lose everything?

he is a good guy with a good heart and the more time goes by without seeing his children, he is getting deeper and deeper into depression and just doesn't want to do anything.

Visitation is a separate issue. He can enforce any visitation court order that he has or he can request the court for a court order allowing him visitation which would then be enforceable. He has options.

it's very depressing for me to see him shell out day after day....this is why i am now looking into what the consequences will be.

I will be paying the attorney fees and helping him with back child support payments. i feel partly responsible for his situtation.

We will see you back here in six months griping because he has left you and won't pay you the money YOU GAVE HIM to pay his child support.

 

[paulat]

thanks everyone for your relationship advice. i have contacted a real attorney for the real issue involved here.

 

[outonbail]

thanks everyone for your relationship advice. i have contacted a real attorney for the real issue involved here.

The real issue is that he is behind on his child support and that is what was left to snowball into the legal troubles he now facing. He will not get out from under the responsibility of having to pay child support. He may be able to go to court and have it reduced, but he will always have to pay for his children. So the real issue was addressed. You will hear the same thing from the attorney you are going to pay for advice.

The reason you received the relationship advice is because you have made every excuse in the book, for your boyfriend getting himself in this situation. But it really isn't that complicated. None of these things blind sided him and hiring an attorney is not going to see him released from having to pay a good portion of his paycheck to support his children. So he will be back in the same boat as the one he claims forced him into this state of depression. Hopefully, this time he will paddle a little harder to keep up with the current he'll be fighting. If not, you can tow him to shore over and over again. Until you realize that it isn't worth all the time, money and effort to save him just because he's a nice guy. There are plenty of nice guys in this world who wouldn't think about dumping their troubles in your lap. The one's who do bring you their troubles, have a tendency to make a habit of it.

You will be discovering this soon enough.

by now!