Assaulting a Minor??

[16&23]

What is the name of your state? Michigan

Ok, as many of you know, my boyfriend is 23 years old, and I am 16. I need help understanding what I can do to stop his ex and her mother from assaulting me. His ex "C" is 21years old, and her mom "P" is in her early 40's. "C" is jealous of my relationship with her ex and her son. They cornered me at the store and said they'd "kick my a*s, and f*c*i*g kill me. I know this has to be illegal somehow, or is it only if they actually hit me? Because they seem to be everywhere I go now. Luckily I've learned to go places with alot of people. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[JETX]

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

The best advice you are going to get (and you won't like it) is to grow up and get your ass out of that problem. There is simply NO excuse for a 16 year old to be 'with' a 23 year old. And the type of persons you describe doesn't say much for the 'class' of this 'group of folks' either.

 

[CdwJava]

Simply threatening to kick someone's tail end is not necessarily a criminal act. In my state it might be considered fighting words and fall under our disturbing the peace statutes, but not likely much else. The Constitution allows for people to say rude, crude and otherwise vulgar things to each other. And making those comments is not an assault. So they are not "assaulting" you - unless MI has a verbal "assault" statute of some kind.

And I can see where they would have a problem. As has been stated a number of times, this is not a normal relationship, and says a lot about this guy AND the fact that he must like walking the precipice between freedom and jail.

- Carl

 

[thelizzy]

Seriously, is this guy worth it? If you say yes, you're totally kidding yourself.

Cut your ties now and concentrate on high school.

 

[16&23]

And I can see where they would have a problem. As has been stated a number of times, this is not a normal relationship, and says a lot about this guy AND the fact that he must like walking the precipice between freedom and jail.

It is none of their business what I do with my life, or what J does with his. My parents have already said that they won't call the police, this was decided after a long drawn out argument with my father. He finally saw that j means alot to me, dad is not happy but he is living with it. So the only reason that "c" would have a reason tobe upset would be because J could possibly have went to jail. THatwould have taken him away from his son. However, J will not be going to jail, at least not for being with me. So, "C" should mind her own business. What I need to know is, if they do follow through on their threat, what should be done... legally?

 

[16&23]

Seriously, is this guy worth it? If you say yes, you're totally kidding yourself.

Cut your ties now and concentrate on high school.

I am concentrating on high school, I don't let my personal life interfere with school. I never have. I have straight A's, and am in a group called FCCLA. I will go to WMU, and become an obstetrician. I have my goals set, nothing will get in my way.

 

[CdwJava]

What I need to know is, if they do follow through on their threat, what should be done... legally?

Easy - call the police.

However, the drawback to that one might be that the cat would be out of the bag that you and this guy are seeing each other, and its possible that charges could ensue against everyone for permitting this affair to occur.

So, while they might be punished for assaulting you, boyfriend may get a jacket as a sex offender as a result ... and your parents might be in trouble as well for permitting it.

I'm working just such a case right now - got the case as a result of an unrelated incident, discovered 16 and 20 year old were doing the deed, and eventually found that mom had been permitting it at one time. Mom and 20-year-old have pending criminal charges as a result.

So, if you get assaulted - report it, by all means. But don't be surprised if the cat comes out of the bag at that time.

- Carl

 

[d8ddysgirl]

I agree with Carl. If you call the police and start talking and giving info they will come down on your b/f due to ages.

I can totally see how your blinded right now. Your only 16. Right now your seeing all the wonderful things J is doing for you. But lets look to the future. Your putting your poor parents through b/s just to prove a point. When J is gone and your sitting there after your parents have enough of this I hope you realized how much he wasnt worth it. And what if you were a parent, would you let this stuff happen to your daughter?

 

[AHA]

"THatwould have taken him away from his son"

Are you saying your bf has a child with this ex? If so, you have to realise that she and her mom will be in your life for as long as you are in the relationship with your bf. Are you ready for that?

So far there is no crime for you to report to the plice, so unless they get fysical with you, you are going to have to learn to live with this treatment from them.

Why isn't your bf doing what he can to stop this behavior from his ex? If he's not doing anything, that's a sure sign of how he feels about you, or rather how he DOESN'T feel about you! My man would have done everything within legal limits to protect me from s**t like that, and he wouldn't give up until the problem was gone.
If he's not being a man and stepping up for you in this serious situation, there's every chance he won't step up for you at any other time either. No woman needs a "man" like that. We can be sissies without the help of a guy.

Does your dad know about the verbal abuse from the ex and her mom? If he knew, that would very likely be the icing on the cake as far as calling the cops on your bf. No caring dad would want their minor daughter with an adult male AND to get verbal abuse from the adult male's ex and ex in-laws!!

This problem is easily solved, just leave the guy and focus on your life and future. No one else in your life seems to be lifting a finger to protect or help you, so if you don't do anything, this problem will remain. Verbal abuse is just the beginning, s**t like this usually end up getting worse.

 

[karihager1982]

Have you thought about a "Personal Protection Order"?

If you feel really threatened by these people, by all means, you should go and get a PPO.

Every time that you are threatened by them, you need to make a police report. Every piece of documentation that the police have, make it easier for you if something should happen in the future.

Also - don't get upset with what some of these people here reply. Some people are not helpful at all when it comes to answering the one question that you have.

And don't feel bad for being with who you are with. I am now 22 years old, and if I would have listened to my father, and other people, than I would not be with my fiance' now of 6 years. (Whom my entire family loves!)

I made it through high school, focused on my goals, and now work for a wonderful advertising agency. No one ever thought that I would make it as far as I have.

You'll do fine - just keep on the right track. (It already sounds like you are.) And remember - don't let these "ignorant" people intimidate you. There ARE things you can do!

Take care!

- Kari

 

[BelizeBreeze]

Have you thought about a "Personal Protection Order"?

Sure, go right ahead. And tell this child on what grounds such an order will be issued?

Oh, by the way, tell her also to start saving her allowance. She'll need it to bail her boyfriend out of jail.

(mary said I can't call you an idiot so I'll just roll my eyes)

 

[AHA]

Have you thought about a "Personal Protection Order"?

If you feel really threatened by these people, by all means, you should go and get a PPO.

Every time that you are threatened by them, you need to make a police report. Every piece of documentation that the police have, make it easier for you if something should happen in the future.

Also - don't get upset with what some of these people here reply. Some people are not helpful at all when it comes to answering the one question that you have.

And don't feel bad for being with who you are with. I am now 22 years old, and if I would have listened to my father, and other people, than I would not be with my fiance' now of 6 years. (Whom my entire family loves!)

I made it through high school, focused on my goals, and now work for a wonderful advertising agency. No one ever thought that I would make it as far as I have.

You'll do fine - just keep on the right track. (It already sounds like you are.) And remember - don't let these "ignorant" people intimidate you. There ARE things you can do!

Take care!

- Kari

You are right, some minors end up in good relationships, but those are far and few in between.
And it's a lot easier if you have your parents full blessing AND don't have the bf's ex and her family chasing you around threatening you.

 

[16&23]

Easy - call the police.

However, the drawback to that one might be that the cat would be out of the bag that you and this guy are seeing each other, and its possible that charges could ensue against everyone for permitting this affair to occur.

So, while they might be punished for assaulting you, boyfriend may get a jacket as a sex offender as a result ... and your parents might be in trouble as well for permitting it.

I'm working just such a case right now - got the case as a result of an unrelated incident, discovered 16 and 20 year old were doing the deed, and eventually found that mom had been permitting it at one time. Mom and 20-year-old have pending criminal charges as a result.

So, if you get assaulted - report it, by all means. But don't be surprised if the cat comes out of the bag at that time.

- Carl

Thank you for that information, I didn't know that J could get into trouble even if my parents don't report it. Thanks.

 

[d8ddysgirl]

As a social worker I am appauled that someone would tell this girl to ignore people like us. We are trying to tell her this is not a healthy situation. Just because relations worked out for you doesnt mean it will for all.

I used to wonder why our children go in the wrong direction. Now its easy to see that others who lead them that way make it seem like its going to be a yellow brick road to sunshine.

I hope its worth it to you. Your lucky to have parents that care enough to argue about it. If they didnt I would wonder?

Honestly, take a step back in this situation. Go hang out with friends your own age, go be goofy and giggle with your true friends. These are the best years of your life and you dont need to worry about your b/f ex and being harrassed. I mean why hasnt he done anything about it?

 

[16&23]

"THatwould have taken him away from his son"

Are you saying your bf has a child with this ex? If so, you have to realise that she and her mom will be in your life for as long as you are in the relationship with your bf. Are you ready for that?

So far there is no crime for you to report to the plice, so unless they get fysical with you, you are going to have to learn to live with this treatment from them.

Why isn't your bf doing what he can to stop this behavior from his ex? If he's not doing anything, that's a sure sign of how he feels about you, or rather how he DOESN'T feel about you! My man would have done everything within legal limits to protect me from s**t like that, and he wouldn't give up until the problem was gone.
If he's not being a man and stepping up for you in this serious situation, there's every chance he won't step up for you at any other time either. No woman needs a "man" like that. We can be sissies without the help of a guy.

Does your dad know about the verbal abuse from the ex and her mom? If he knew, that would very likely be the icing on the cake as far as calling the cops on your bf. No caring dad would want their minor daughter with an adult male AND to get verbal abuse from the adult male's ex and ex in-laws!!

This problem is easily solved, just leave the guy and focus on your life and future. No one else in your life seems to be lifting a finger to protect or help you, so if you don't do anything, this problem will remain. Verbal abuse is just the beginning, s**t like this usually end up getting worse.

No, my dad doesn't know about the verbal assault, he has a bad temper and I'm sure he'd end up in jail as a result of his actions, if he found out.
Yes, J has a 2 year old son with "C" and I know that "C" and her mom will be a part of my life if i stay with "J" And i've never had a problem with either of them until that day. It came from nowhere. They had always been very polite until then.
"J" would most definetly stick up for me and try to protect me... if he knew. I don't want to tell him, at least not unless things get worse. I don't want to cause problems between him and "c". For the babys sake. Although she has no problem making problems for me.