Aunt and Uncle need help changing custody

[mncook]

What is the name of your state? Minnesota

Hello everyone, I am new here and I'm hoping to get some input on a difficult situation.
My husband and I want to adopt our neice and nephew, right now we are just trying to get custody changed. My brother (the kids biological father) is in jail right now, and wants my husband and I to adopt the kids, so we don't have any problems when it comes to him. The problem is with their bioloigal mother. She left the kids with the baby sitter on October 31, 2006 and has not seen them since. At that time the kids moved in with my brother and our mom, until May when they moved in with my husband and I. Currently their mother has been into social services and wants the kids back (after almost a year of not even seeing them!), my neice turned 3 in July and my nephew will be 2 in December - so, as you can imagine, they don't even know who she is anymore.
This isn't the first of the problems, a couple weeks before my neices 1st birthday the mother lost custody because of doing meth and other drugs (she also did drugs while she was pregnant with both kids). So my husband and I applied for emergency temporary foster care and she came to live with us for about 3 months. Not long after she was taken away again (also for drugs) and moved in with my husband and I. During the second stay with us, our nephew was born and I was asked to pick him up from the hospital and he stayed with us for a few days before going back to the mom.
So, my husband and I want to adopt the kids because they have had such a difficult life already. We have a letter from my nephews doctor that claims medical neglect when he was living with their mom because he has excema and it was not taken care of. We have taken care of these kids more than anyone else and they already call us mom and dad.
I tried to turn in Notice of Motion and Motion for Change of Custody and the corrosponding paperwork, located at http://www.mncourts.gov/default.aspx?page=513&item=55&itemType=packetDetails
When I got there they told me that I couldn't because those papers are for changing custody between parents. But if you look at the paperwork you can see that there is a section to input another person's information, and the questions ask who to change custody to and there is an option to select the "other" person. So, the people just turned me away and said I couldn't do it. After they turned me away I found:
http://ros.leg.mn/bin/getpub.php?pubtype=STAT_CHAP&year=2006&section=257C
Subd. 3. Interested third party. (a) "Interested third party" means an individual who is
not a de facto custodian but who can prove that at least one of the factors in section 257C.03,
subdivision 7 , paragraph (a), is met.
(b) "Interested third party" does not include an individual who has a child placed in the
individual's care:
(1) through a custody consent decree under section 257C.07;
(2) through a court order or voluntary placement under chapter 260C; or
(3) for adoption under chapter 259.
THEN I found:
257C.03 PROCEDURE.
Subdivision 1. Commencement of proceedings. (a) In a court of this state with jurisdiction
to decide child custody matters, a de facto or third-party child custody proceeding may be brought
by an individual other than a parent by filing a petition seeking custody in the county where:
(1) the child is permanently a resident, the child is found, or an earlier order for custody of
the child has been entered; or
(2) the court has jurisdiction over the matter under chapter 518D.
(b) The proceeding is commenced by personal service of the summons and petition.
(c) An individual other than a parent who seeks visitation under this section must qualify
under one of the provisions of section 257C.08, and must comply with the provisions of this subdivision to commence the proceeding.

So to me, it sounds like I should be able to file this paperwork. What I'm wondering though, is there a different paperwork that I should be filling out, or should I be able to use the ones that I filled out already??

Thanks so much for all your time!What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?

 

[CJane]

It might not even be possible for you to do this, but I can tell you that to even have a GLIMMER of a chance of success, you will need a VERY good adoption attorney. Adoption is never a do-it yourself project, even when everyone is on the same page and wants it done... and in cases like this especially.

 

[mncook]

Well right now we are more concerned about changing custody because (sorry I may have forgot the mention this) but the mom wants the kids back, and we are concerned. She is pregnant again and within the month tested positive for marijuana. We have a social worker who is working on the case, everyone in social services is behind my husband and I but are required to give her the supervised visitation that she has requested (which is supposed to start next week).

 

[mncook]

I also want to add that during the 11 months that she has not had the kids, she has not seen them AT ALL, and she did not call on any holidays or birthdays - she missed my nephews first birthday and neices third

 

[Just Blue]

You still need an attorney.

 

[mncook]

Thanks, we are looking into getting an attorney.
Right now what I really need to know is, am I filing the correct paperwork according to the law, or is there other paperwork that I don't know about?

 

[LdiJ]

Thanks, we are looking into getting an attorney.
Right now what I really need to know is, am I filing the correct paperwork according to the law, or is there other paperwork that I don't know about?

Please, if you really care about the kids stop trying to file paperwork yourself and hire an attorney first thing Monday morning.

Parents have the constitutional right to the care and custody of their children...you may have a shot at winning, but you NEED an attorney to have any real chance of making it happen.

 

[oneyrmom]

Manipulation

I hate to say it, but it's true. You may need to manipulate your way into this. FOR THAT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THOSE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[oneyrmom]

Friends

I hate to say it, but it's true. You may need to manipulate your way into this. FOR THAT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THOSE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What I mean by this is that you must make friends with the mother. If she is using meth, she is not in her right mind and is not the best candidate for the job. However, you DO know that these children need a mom too, right? Perhaps you can save a lot of time and money by meeting with her and developing a relationship with her and talking her into letting you take over. Let her make the stipulations: Visit on the weekends, holidays, etc... She may just go for it. You could also tell her that you'd like to help her get her life on track too: rehab, new job, help write her resume, etc.... FOR THIS IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD....

It could be a long shot, and easier said than done. But, one must think outside of the box.

I wish the best to all in this situation.

 

[Just Blue]

I hate to say it, but it's true. You may need to manipulate your way into this. FOR THAT IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THOSE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What I mean by this is that you must make friends with the mother. If she is using meth, she is not in her right mind and is not the best candidate for the job. However, you DO know that these children need a mom too, right? Perhaps you can save a lot of time and money by meeting with her and developing a relationship with her and talking her into letting you take over. Let her make the stipulations: Visit on the weekends, holidays, etc... She may just go for it. You could also tell her that you'd like to help her get her life on track too: rehab, new job, help write her resume, etc.... FOR THIS IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD....

It could be a long shot, and easier said than done. But, one must think outside of the box.

I wish the best to all in this situation.

Oh..Shut the heck up!! You have no clue and don't seem to be able to manage your own situation never mind advising others!

 

[moburkes]

Who in their right mind would tell someone to befriend a meth user?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Who in their right mind would tell someone to befriend a meth user?

Can I answer that again? Dumb syndryom?

 

[mncook]

I want to hire an attorney but we just don't have the money right now. I got some information though to try and get a pro bono attorney. But that's deffinately something that I'm working on.
I've always gotten a long with their biological mom before this happened. I haven't talked to her since. She's not using meth right now, just marijuana. The social worker said that if she was using meth then she would be able to file a CHIPS petition and this wouldn't be a problem. We have an excellent social worker that wants us to get the kids. I sent the mother a long letter (I didn't say anything to try to hurt her or offend her) but she only replied with a "." (period). The social worker tried talking to her to see if she would just sign the kids over but she said she was really determined to get the kids. My husband and I can't get a good nights sleep because we keep thinking about what's going on, our life would be so empty without them.

 

[LdiJ]

I want to hire an attorney but we just don't have the money right now. I got some information though to try and get a pro bono attorney. But that's deffinately something that I'm working on.
I've always gotten a long with their biological mom before this happened. I haven't talked to her since. She's not using meth right now, just marijuana. The social worker said that if she was using meth then she would be able to file a CHIPS petition and this wouldn't be a problem. We have an excellent social worker that wants us to get the kids. I sent the mother a long letter (I didn't say anything to try to hurt her or offend her) but she only replied with a "." (period). The social worker tried talking to her to see if she would just sign the kids over but she said she was really determined to get the kids. My husband and I can't get a good nights sleep because we keep thinking about what's going on, our life would be so empty without them.

You absolutely need to keep the bolded part to yourself. I truly understand how attached you are to the children, however, a decision is NOT going to be made on this case based on your attachment to the children, its going to be made based on whether or not the mother is a fit parent or can jump through the CPS hoops to become a fit parent. (by their standards, not by yours, and their standards are fairly low)

This is why its so imperative that you have an attorney.

 

[mncook]

Hello everyone. Well, I went to the court house again and showed them the law that I found. The lady was still a little unsure so she had me talk to one of the judges law assistants, and they came to the conclusion that I could file. So, we have a court date on Nov. 5th.
The kids also had their first supervised visitation with their biological mother last week. It went as I suspected, they had no clue who she was. The supervisor is a therapist and she told me that the feeling in the room was a very strange one. Their BM is also pregnant (I am guessing about 7 months), and has had recent positive UA's.
We were told by a couple people, even an attorney that we really didn't need to have an attorney for this case. I think that the BM will more than likely have a public deffender, and I would just feel more comfortable having a lawyer. We are trying to get a consultation with a lawyer that only takes clients that are refered to her. Apparently she is really good, and wins almost all of her cases.
We will be serving the BM with the paperwork within a week or so.