I do appreciate everyone’s advice, but please don’t judge. Although it may seem “dramatic”, I’m not able to put into a few posts all of the hell he’s put us through.
His misuse of office charges were because they found he’d used their database to stalk over 300 women over the course of 3-4 years. He’s a disgusting predator, but he has also had a lot of power in our town so he’s used to getting away with everything.
He is the one that filed for full custody after we’ve had 50/50 for years. I never had any evidence or material changes that constituted going back to court. My work schedule changed and he used that as an opportunity to take me back so that he doesn’t have to pay child support, in fact he’s asking that I pay HIM child support.
I eventually offered to take zero child support from him, we’d split all expenses 50/50 if he’d take a split custody schedule, getting them every other weekend. By that point, it was more about winning for him and he refused. He thinks bc my fiancé has money it will benefit him.
I also see a few of you are questioning my fiancé’s relationship with my kids. He has become a loving figure that both of my children, but especially my daughter has needed, as wrong as you might believe that is, her therapist feels his position in our family is beneficial. NOT damaging. My ex husband’s feelings of me remarrying should not be my concern, he’s a grown man and he should be able to put those feelings aside to raise and care for our kids like thousands if not millions of other divorced men in this world do.
My fiancé has a daughter, and her mother and I have a wonderful relationship. In fact, we all go to dinner with her and her husband with their daughter often. We go to their house every year for Halloween and their daughter thrives bc of this closeness we all have.
I wish my ex and I could have this, but unfortunately he’s just not capable of it. We’ve tried, and we’d try again if we thought for a second it could make things better.
Basically, this post was mainly made to get 3 answers.
1. Has anyone else been through this where it’s taken so long? Or is this time frame totally normal? (June 2018 - present, no trial date set)
2. Has anyone dealt with an ex who mistreats your children, mostly emotionally, and has gone back to court for custody? What was the outcome? Did you feel yours and your kids’ feelings were downplayed or diminished?
3. Most of you have answered this, but my third was would keeping my kids, or at least my daughter, with me when she cries and begs not to go hurt us THAT badly in court or is it worth letting her stay so she doesn’t have to deal with the mental abuse she’s dealing with there?
I guess until you see your child scared and wondering why their dad ”hates them” (their words, not mine), you can’t really understand the predicament I’m in. And if you have been there, more power to ya, but this is HARD. When they tell their grandmother, his mom, that he hates them she just tells them “he doesn’t hate them, he just doesn’t know how to show them love”, and I think that’s the best explanation. I don’t want to take them away completely. I just want them mostly where they feel loved and secure, and I want him to get help.
His misuse of office charges were because they found he’d used their database to stalk over 300 women over the course of 3-4 years. He’s a disgusting predator, but he has also had a lot of power in our town so he’s used to getting away with everything.
He is the one that filed for full custody after we’ve had 50/50 for years. I never had any evidence or material changes that constituted going back to court. My work schedule changed and he used that as an opportunity to take me back so that he doesn’t have to pay child support, in fact he’s asking that I pay HIM child support.
I eventually offered to take zero child support from him, we’d split all expenses 50/50 if he’d take a split custody schedule, getting them every other weekend. By that point, it was more about winning for him and he refused. He thinks bc my fiancé has money it will benefit him.
I also see a few of you are questioning my fiancé’s relationship with my kids. He has become a loving figure that both of my children, but especially my daughter has needed, as wrong as you might believe that is, her therapist feels his position in our family is beneficial. NOT damaging. My ex husband’s feelings of me remarrying should not be my concern, he’s a grown man and he should be able to put those feelings aside to raise and care for our kids like thousands if not millions of other divorced men in this world do.
My fiancé has a daughter, and her mother and I have a wonderful relationship. In fact, we all go to dinner with her and her husband with their daughter often. We go to their house every year for Halloween and their daughter thrives bc of this closeness we all have.
I wish my ex and I could have this, but unfortunately he’s just not capable of it. We’ve tried, and we’d try again if we thought for a second it could make things better.
Basically, this post was mainly made to get 3 answers.
1. Has anyone else been through this where it’s taken so long? Or is this time frame totally normal? (June 2018 - present, no trial date set)
2. Has anyone dealt with an ex who mistreats your children, mostly emotionally, and has gone back to court for custody? What was the outcome? Did you feel yours and your kids’ feelings were downplayed or diminished?
3. Most of you have answered this, but my third was would keeping my kids, or at least my daughter, with me when she cries and begs not to go hurt us THAT badly in court or is it worth letting her stay so she doesn’t have to deal with the mental abuse she’s dealing with there?
I guess until you see your child scared and wondering why their dad ”hates them” (their words, not mine), you can’t really understand the predicament I’m in. And if you have been there, more power to ya, but this is HARD. When they tell their grandmother, his mom, that he hates them she just tells them “he doesn’t hate them, he just doesn’t know how to show them love”, and I think that’s the best explanation. I don’t want to take them away completely. I just want them mostly where they feel loved and secure, and I want him to get help.
