Being accused of harassment and stalking?

[RedSox5373]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas. Ex lives in Georgia.

Ex fiancee has apparently been getting harassing phone calls, texts and emails. She went to police to file a report. I live 900 miles away. A police officer called my cell phone from a blocked number 15 times in a row then called my work and pretended to be someone else so I would answer.

The officer says they have proof that I'm the one doing it and he kept trying to get me to admit to it. Also wanted me to agree to not talking to her or anyone associated with her. He said if I do this again, I will be charged.

I have nothing to do with these harassing calls, but my name has clearly been dragged through the mud. Former friends and co-workers no long talk to me because of this.

I'm pretty freaked out by all of this. Want to clear my name but also don't want to make matters worse.

 

[FlyingRon]

How did your friends and coworkers find out about this?

Did you have a question?

 

[Zigner]

What makes you think it was even a police officer who called you?

 

[quincy]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas. Ex lives in Georgia.

Ex fiancee has apparently been getting harassing phone calls, texts and emails. She went to police to file a report. I live 900 miles away. A police officer called my cell phone from a blocked number 15 times in a row then called my work and pretended to be someone else so I would answer.

The officer says they have proof that I'm the one doing it and he kept trying to get me to admit to it. Also wanted me to agree to not talking to her or anyone associated with her. He said if I do this again, I will be charged.

I have nothing to do with these harassing calls, but my name has clearly been dragged through the mud. Former friends and co-workers no long talk to me because of this.

I'm pretty freaked out by all of this. Want to clear my name but also don't want to make matters worse.

The best you can do is tell your friends and coworkers that you are not responsible for harassing your ex-fiancée and hope they know you well enough to believe you. They will either believe the false stories or not.

Because you have not been charged with any crime, an attorney will not be of much use to you from a criminal standpoint. You potentially could contact an attorney well-versed in defamation law and discuss the merits of a defamation claim. The injury to your reputation would have to be severe, and the harm suffered demonstrable, to justify the high costs of pursuing a defamation claim against an out-of-state defendant.

See an attorney if charged. In the meantime, continue to refrain from answering questions posed to you by the police. Exercise your right to remain silent. You have no legal obligation to assist the police in investigating you.

Good luck.

 

[RedSox5373]

How did your friends and coworkers find out about this?

Did you have a question?

My ex fiancee and I worked together in Georgia. I moved to Texas three months ago.

It appears after the phone call, she has gone around telling everybody I did it and not to talk to me. We still work for the same corporation.

The rumors spreading could cause major problems for my career.

Also, if she keeps getting these phone calls, I fear police will come charge me because I'm the ex.

Anything I can do?

 

[RedSox5373]

What makes you think it was even a police officer who called you?

Good point. I honestly don't know, but he seemed very intelligent and knew a lot of the law and the system.

 

[Zigner]

Good point. I honestly don't know, but he seemed very intelligent and knew a lot of the law and the system.

Do you know "... a lot of the law and the system"? I'm going to assume that your answer will be "no". In that case, how do you know that he knew "... a lot of the law and the system"? I could call you on the phone and convince you that I'm a police officer. How? By being familiar with law enforcement lingo.

 

[quincy]

My ex fiancee and I worked together in Georgia. I moved to Texas three months ago.

It appears after the phone call, she has gone around telling everybody I did it and not to talk to me. We still work for the same corporation.

The rumors spreading could cause major problems for my career.

Also, if she keeps getting these phone calls, I fear police will come charge me because I'm the ex.

Anything I can do?

If you are charged with harassment or stalking, see a criminal defense attorney. Other than that, do not cooperate with the police by answering any questions and continue to deny to your friends and coworkers the truth of what your ex-fiancée is saying.

Most people understand exes will lie about each other and do not tend to take what is said as the whole truth.

 

[not2cleverRed]

My ex fiancee and I worked together in Georgia. I moved to Texas three months ago.

It appears after the phone call, she has gone around telling everybody I did it and not to talk to me. We still work for the same corporation.

The rumors spreading could cause major problems for my career.

Also, if she keeps getting these phone calls, I fear police will come charge me because I'm the ex.

Anything I can do?

I'm assuming you are telling the truth and are sane. Meaning, you haven't made any attempt to contact her in any way shape or form. It sounds like you have also blocked her where possible. Hold your head high and take the high road.

I, like others, are skeptical that the phone call was from an on duty police officer. Also, google Michele Hadley and Angela Diaz. It is possible that someone is framing you (even you ex herself).

I think a trip to HR is due. Go to HR and complain about *her* behavior. Even if she is actually receiving harassing communications, she is not handling it correctly: gossiping about it in the workplace is inappropriate.

 

[quincy]

... I think a trip to HR is due. Go to HR and complain about *her* behavior. Even if she is actually receiving harassing communications, she is not handling it correctly: gossiping about it in the workplace is inappropriate.

I am not sure going to HR with the story of rumors is the appropriate action to take at this point. I believe ResSox will want more than what he apparently has in the way of facts before approaching HR and accusing his ex fiancée of anything.

Both he and his ex could both find themselves out of jobs if their personal issues start interfering with their work responsibilities.

 

[LdiJ]

I am not sure going to HR with the story of rumors is the appropriate action to take at this point. I believe ResSox will want more than what he apparently has in the way of facts before approaching HR and accusing his ex fiancée of anything.

Both he and his ex could both find themselves out of jobs if their personal issues start interfering with their work responsibilities.

I agree. I do not think its a that point. However, I will point out that police officers do not normally make calls from blocked numbers.

 

[quincy]

I agree. I do not think its a that point. However, I will point out that police officers do not normally make calls from blocked numbers.

A lot of government numbers are blocked. I don't find that part of the story suspicious at all.

 

[Zigner]

A lot of government numbers are blocked. I don't find that part of the story suspicious at all.

Agreed - I was going to make the same statement as LdiJ, except I know that police officers will make calls from their own cell phones which are almost definitely blocked for the personal safety of the officer.

 

[quincy]

Agreed - I was going to make the same statement as LdiJ, except I know that police officers will make calls from their own cell phones which are almost definitely blocked for the personal safety of the officer.

Right. The last thing a police detective wants is to get unsolicited calls to his private number.

Rarely, too, will officers call from numbers that direct to anything other than the department, where calls can be screened first and then rerouted.

 

[RedSox5373]

After talking to some people I know in the City she lives in, I do believe it was a police officer and that she filed a report. They seem to think I'm the one making these calls/messages from various numbers and emails.

We had a rough breakup in June. We were on and off again from June to September and ultimately, she left me for someone else.

Between August and October, the two of us made unsocilicited phone calls back and forth to each other. I never called or emailed more than twice during those occasions.

She, however, often called me dozens of times in a row to try to get me to answer. Many times saying she was having a panic attack so I would answer.

The last we talked was in October and after some harsh words, she told me to leave her alone. That's it.

I just hope she's not going to use the phone calls from August and September against me here.