Stealth wrote:
PamiToni wrote:
I'm in a 7 year relationship and will admit that I have "relationship" issues. This is because of my MENTAL HEALTH. I'm humored by all the insults I have received here because, "I'm the bad guy." What none of you are getting is that if I could change my behavior by taking a pill, Electro-Shock, or intense therapy, I would (and have tried it ALL!). At present, I'm the smart one saying, "Okay, if none of this stuff is working on my mental health condition, what is wrong with my physical health that is contributing to this?"
I'm at least TRYING to get better and it takes a compassionate person to see this and understand that. It's not like I wake up mornings and say, "Gee, who am I going to screw over today?" Like some people consciously do! First, I wake up WHEN I WAKE UP, not always in the morning and not always after 6-8 hours of sleep, sometimes on 2-3 hours of RESTLESS sleep. Then, I do NOT know what my mood is going to be like. The people I'm working with believe in me (as do I) that I will eventually learn to live in YOUR world, however limited, but in the mean time they have compassion for me, including my significant other!
I'm not asking people here (or elsewhere) to like me or my condition, all I'm asking is that they tolerate me while I'm around and compartmentalize that part of me that is exhibited in the form of what LAY people such as yourselves often mis-categorize as "anger." Apparently this GIRL IN JERSEY, has a boyfriend that she might be able to see something in that very few others can. HOWEVER, if the Girl is being beat, degraded, and not loved, the BOY must go. If the BOY is like me, I suspect he really loves her for who she is PLUS so much more for how she can see things that other people cannot see.
PamiToni wrote:
Ozark wrote:
(B) Again, I agree they should, however, when a staff member is not properly trained to recognize the difference between anxiety, irritability and frustration, it is time to let an expert assess the situation BY TALKING TO THE DAMN PATIENT AND GETTING HIS SIDE! Someone without a college degree shouldn't be making decisions or recommendations about treatment and condition!
(C) Me too. I regret that I sometimes act this way, it isn't, however, like I plan it, it is something I have no control over. And as far as "letting it out goes" let's just be thankful that it is words. I'm not a physical person, and NONE of you have exhibited an understanding of MY POSITION because (THANKFULLY) none of you are like me. Look at who have chimed in: A depressed person, a woman who emasculates men because she's picked bad relationships, People who (rightfully so) don't like the legal system, and people who think they are empowered because THEY ARE DISABLED and have used the system to PUT THEM THROUGH COLLEGE so they can get a new job. When person with my condition OR a person who treats people with my diagnoses steps forward, I'll then HEED your advice on my personality flaws, as I am UNIQUE I doubt this will happen.
(D) Oh, are we talking about Social Security or a STATE/EMPLOYER disability system? As far as Social Security is concerned, for the first 5 1/2 years of my disability I was incarcerated (white collar offense) because nobody would listen to me when I said, "I need help! There's something not right with me!" Then the next 7 years I spent saying, "You know Social Security you say that I am disabled but you are fresh out of treatment - that is like saying, 'You cannot walk and need a wheelchair, but we are fresh out!'" Then realizing that the people who made the decisions were poorly trained and they made a mistake and instead of being on SSI I should have been on SSDI (Which carries Medicare - the insurance that MORE Mental Health Professionals accept even at 50% co-pays). So now, I can go see a doctor, but I have to pay 50% of the costs where a person with a PHYSICAL condition only pays 20% of the Medicare Cost. In otherwords, I make $950 / month and spend $300 a month MINIMUM on treatment instead of $120 that other disabled people would spend. Am I grateful for this system? Yes, in part. It keeps me out of prison by keeping me in check and I know that if I have another full blown manic episode I'll get treatment and hospitalization rather than told there's no treatment or hospital that will take me. I was smart and took the ERROR MONEY (That is the $40,000 in back payments) and put it into Real Estate with an income property.
(E) Then maybe you aren't as disabled as you let on... what happened, lose an eye? Moderate Depression? Something curable? My condition is NOT CURABLE, but in 80% of the cases, it is manageable with medication or other form of treatment. I've fallen in the 20% every time, on Meds on E.C.T., so I'm a unique case NOT for lack of trying.
(F) I worked hard too, EVEN WITH the disability. It was this working hard that ultimately led me to a full blown manic episode. I was working 6 days a week, 10 hour days, and happy. I felt like I was contributing, but, then I snapped. I'm able to do LOTS of things. I'm very gifted and my education and skills are great. I would have no problem going out today and getting $20-30/hour job. However, the result would be in 3 or 4 months, I'd snap because of the pressure and stresses and I'd be in either a hospital or a jail cell for having made poor decisions. I'll take my miserable life on disability and try to make the best of it every day. That usually means not leaving my house and having limited contact with people, sort of my own home arrest.
(G) VR (or Vocational Rehabilitation) Glad it worked for you. I reiterate, you probably are partially disabled, or have a treatable condition. Good for you, but it sounds like you feel GUILTY for receiving benefits for something you paid for. I guess you also cringe when you hear the word "Welfare Recipient."
(H) Except someone like me where you can't see my disability, understand my disability, or measure it on a scale of comparison to you and your lifestyle. I guess if I looked like I had DOWN SYNDROME and exhibited Mood disorders, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and other Impulse Control Issues, it wouldn't be so hard for you to leap to defend my actions as, "It is part of who he is and he was born that way."
(I) I'm indifferent to these people UNTIL they cross a line of exceptional job performance or poor job performance. When I recognize exceptional job performance by a menial worker, I compliment them or bring it to the attention of their managers. When I recognize POOR job performance, if it personally impacts me (such as this situation) I become overly anxious (because my fate is in their hand and they are not qualified to have that amount of control), irritable (because I can't communicate effectively with them), and eventually frustration (usually because I've done everything in my power to try and resolve the situation with no resolve).
(J) Just like WE payed for those who came before us. Some people don't try, or didn't try at all. I tried!
I'm happy to hear how much of a derelict I am, it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside to be validated for the evil person I am (again, having been born this way and it is my fault and all for how my brain chemistry was designed at conception!)
No, sorry. But if I did, do you think I'd identify myself here? (BTW: Off topic)
PamiToni wrote:
Again, off topic, but I will try to answer your question: decent men in NJ left? Sure their are, I guess it is a matter of your standards, or in this case, this 20ish year old girl.
I'm in a 7 year relationship and will admit that I have "relationship" issues. This is because of my MENTAL HEALTH. I'm humored by all the insults I have received here because, "I'm the bad guy." What none of you are getting is that if I could change my behavior by taking a pill, Electro-Shock, or intense therapy, I would (and have tried it ALL!). At present, I'm the smart one saying, "Okay, if none of this stuff is working on my mental health condition, what is wrong with my physical health that is contributing to this?"
I'm at least TRYING to get better and it takes a compassionate person to see this and understand that. It's not like I wake up mornings and say, "Gee, who am I going to screw over today?" Like some people consciously do! First, I wake up WHEN I WAKE UP, not always in the morning and not always after 6-8 hours of sleep, sometimes on 2-3 hours of RESTLESS sleep. Then, I do NOT know what my mood is going to be like. The people I'm working with believe in me (as do I) that I will eventually learn to live in YOUR world, however limited, but in the mean time they have compassion for me, including my significant other!
I'm not asking people here (or elsewhere) to like me or my condition, all I'm asking is that they tolerate me while I'm around and compartmentalize that part of me that is exhibited in the form of what LAY people such as yourselves often mis-categorize as "anger." Apparently this GIRL IN JERSEY, has a boyfriend that she might be able to see something in that very few others can. HOWEVER, if the Girl is being beat, degraded, and not loved, the BOY must go. If the BOY is like me, I suspect he really loves her for who she is PLUS so much more for how she can see things that other people cannot see.
PamiToni wrote:
I guess by your incredible insight into the human psyche you've been burned way to many times, probably because you're just a domineering b*tch who wants to emasculate a man!
Ozark wrote:
(A) I agree, unfortunately, these people sometimes assume responsibilities beyond their pay grades, that's where I have a conflict. If you're a "care-coordinator" I expect you to 1) Care, 2) know what's going on, 3) Be able to communicate with people on a level of respect and dignity and 4) be able to coordinate, not lose things and drop balls or not know why someone else isn't part of the coordinated team effort (patient OR specialist!).
(B) Again, I agree they should, however, when a staff member is not properly trained to recognize the difference between anxiety, irritability and frustration, it is time to let an expert assess the situation BY TALKING TO THE DAMN PATIENT AND GETTING HIS SIDE! Someone without a college degree shouldn't be making decisions or recommendations about treatment and condition!
(C) Me too. I regret that I sometimes act this way, it isn't, however, like I plan it, it is something I have no control over. And as far as "letting it out goes" let's just be thankful that it is words. I'm not a physical person, and NONE of you have exhibited an understanding of MY POSITION because (THANKFULLY) none of you are like me. Look at who have chimed in: A depressed person, a woman who emasculates men because she's picked bad relationships, People who (rightfully so) don't like the legal system, and people who think they are empowered because THEY ARE DISABLED and have used the system to PUT THEM THROUGH COLLEGE so they can get a new job. When person with my condition OR a person who treats people with my diagnoses steps forward, I'll then HEED your advice on my personality flaws, as I am UNIQUE I doubt this will happen.
(D) Oh, are we talking about Social Security or a STATE/EMPLOYER disability system? As far as Social Security is concerned, for the first 5 1/2 years of my disability I was incarcerated (white collar offense) because nobody would listen to me when I said, "I need help! There's something not right with me!" Then the next 7 years I spent saying, "You know Social Security you say that I am disabled but you are fresh out of treatment - that is like saying, 'You cannot walk and need a wheelchair, but we are fresh out!'" Then realizing that the people who made the decisions were poorly trained and they made a mistake and instead of being on SSI I should have been on SSDI (Which carries Medicare - the insurance that MORE Mental Health Professionals accept even at 50% co-pays). So now, I can go see a doctor, but I have to pay 50% of the costs where a person with a PHYSICAL condition only pays 20% of the Medicare Cost. In otherwords, I make $950 / month and spend $300 a month MINIMUM on treatment instead of $120 that other disabled people would spend. Am I grateful for this system? Yes, in part. It keeps me out of prison by keeping me in check and I know that if I have another full blown manic episode I'll get treatment and hospitalization rather than told there's no treatment or hospital that will take me. I was smart and took the ERROR MONEY (That is the $40,000 in back payments) and put it into Real Estate with an income property.
(E) Then maybe you aren't as disabled as you let on... what happened, lose an eye? Moderate Depression? Something curable? My condition is NOT CURABLE, but in 80% of the cases, it is manageable with medication or other form of treatment. I've fallen in the 20% every time, on Meds on E.C.T., so I'm a unique case NOT for lack of trying.
(F) I worked hard too, EVEN WITH the disability. It was this working hard that ultimately led me to a full blown manic episode. I was working 6 days a week, 10 hour days, and happy. I felt like I was contributing, but, then I snapped. I'm able to do LOTS of things. I'm very gifted and my education and skills are great. I would have no problem going out today and getting $20-30/hour job. However, the result would be in 3 or 4 months, I'd snap because of the pressure and stresses and I'd be in either a hospital or a jail cell for having made poor decisions. I'll take my miserable life on disability and try to make the best of it every day. That usually means not leaving my house and having limited contact with people, sort of my own home arrest.
(G) VR (or Vocational Rehabilitation) Glad it worked for you. I reiterate, you probably are partially disabled, or have a treatable condition. Good for you, but it sounds like you feel GUILTY for receiving benefits for something you paid for. I guess you also cringe when you hear the word "Welfare Recipient."
(H) Except someone like me where you can't see my disability, understand my disability, or measure it on a scale of comparison to you and your lifestyle. I guess if I looked like I had DOWN SYNDROME and exhibited Mood disorders, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorders, and other Impulse Control Issues, it wouldn't be so hard for you to leap to defend my actions as, "It is part of who he is and he was born that way."
(I) I'm indifferent to these people UNTIL they cross a line of exceptional job performance or poor job performance. When I recognize exceptional job performance by a menial worker, I compliment them or bring it to the attention of their managers. When I recognize POOR job performance, if it personally impacts me (such as this situation) I become overly anxious (because my fate is in their hand and they are not qualified to have that amount of control), irritable (because I can't communicate effectively with them), and eventually frustration (usually because I've done everything in my power to try and resolve the situation with no resolve).
(J) Just like WE payed for those who came before us. Some people don't try, or didn't try at all. I tried!
I'm happy to hear how much of a derelict I am, it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside to be validated for the evil person I am (again, having been born this way and it is my fault and all for how my brain chemistry was designed at conception!)
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