Boyfriends Ex wife is CRAZY

[LdiJ]

These are some other concerns of mine/ours and i dont know where to go for the answers.

Since i am just the "GIRLFRIEND" am i allowed to watch his daughter for a few hours on saturday mornings? My bf said something to the fact that if he can't be w/ his daughter for 3 hours then the ex has the right to keep the child. But what abuot when she goes out and gets a babysitter for her daughter? She doesn't call him and say would you like to pick up your daughter, Im going out. We would be all over it! So how do we go about finding out if that is ok? This women has brain washed my bf also. It's just insane. She talks about of her A@@ and he doesn't challenge it because he doesn't want to deal with her. He's just recently starting to come around and listen to what im telling him. Its abuot the child, not the ex! And his child LOVES being with us. She cries and begs to stay longer when we have her. We play with her, read with her, and have a good time, even when we relax. Things her mother doesn't do.

Its depends on whether or not the orders have "right of first refusal" written into them. If they do, then mom gets to keep the child while dad is working.

 

[worriedIL]

He said that is in the papers, but only if he can't be with her for 3 hours. So if he was working for 5 hours on saturdays, the mom would be able to keep the child, but thats not the case.

 

[LdiJ]

He said that is in the papers, but only if he can't be with her for 3 hours. So if he was working for 5 hours on saturdays, the mom would be able to keep the child, but thats not the case.

9-12 is three hours...add in travel time and its more than three hours....that means the kid gets to be with mom.

 

[worriedIL]

Right 9-12 is 3 hours, but what im saying is we live literally 3 minutes from work, so if i watched her for 2 hours and brought her to him would that be ok.

 

[weenor]

I think we would all feel better if we could see the verbage of the order. But I think you are saying that she and b/f have the right of first refusal in the event that either parent cannot be with the child for more than 3 hours. If that is the case then you should be able to pick up the child Friday and Dad will be home within an hour so...that would take care of Friday. Then the arrangement Saturday would be o.k. as long as its not more than three hours. For example what would preclude you from watching the child for 2 1/2 hours and taking her to work to be with Dad the last half hour? You said he can keep her at work anyway. The only bummer is that you have to be at work earlier. . .but you know. . .

 

[worriedIL]

Its no bummer for me! Im going to findout about the papers asap!

 

[LdiJ]

I think we would all feel better if we could see the verbage of the order. But I think you are saying that she and b/f have the right of first refusal in the event that either parent cannot be with the child for more than 3 hours. If that is the case then you should be able to pick up the child Friday and Dad will be home within an hour so...that would take care of Friday. Then the arrangement Saturday would be o.k. as long as its not more than three hours. For example what would preclude you from watching the child for 2 1/2 hours and taking her to work to be with Dad the last half hour? You said he can keep her at work anyway. The only bummer is that you have to be at work earlier. . .but you know. . .

Honestly, that strategy probably won't fly if right of first refusal is part of the order. The whole point of right of first refusal is that if the child isn't with the parent (or extended family depending upon the state/judge) that the child should be with the other parent. Think about it? Do you want the other parent to play the same games on his/her time?

 

[worriedIL]

She does play the same games. She enrolls the child in everything possible so that she doesn't have to spend time w/ her. It's ridiculous. But i guess it never hurts to try. We aren't tryin to play any games, we just want to be able to use the law to our advantage as best as possible. If he can have her, we want her.

 

[worriedIL]

Ok. I reviewed the documents. It says that when ea. parent has the child on their visitation time and would be w/out the child for more then 3 hours, that parent is to contac the other parent before placing the child with a caregiver.

She has now started the day off with, she is going for full custody because he doesn't have a bed for his daughter. (His daughter sleeps in his bed, and he sleeps on the couch, and often times she wants to sleep w/ him, she's 6!!) I said if thats the case will go get a bed. She is saying she can take joint custody away from him because he doesn't participate in anything and she longer has the same beliefs as him. ( She's converted to Jeduism (sp?)
She said also said since he doesn't participate in any activities w/ her or pick her up or drop her off to any of the activities the daughters signed up for. The ex puts the child in all these things and doesn't ask him or tell him about it. She signed the child up for catholic school on a day he definately can't get off of work. He doesn't work on thursdays and he said lets go to a school that offers thursdays classes so he could help out. She refused. She's claim to take him to court now for custody and because she doesn't want the daughter around me. I know this is stupid, but can she really do this? I mean i know w/ joint custody the parents need to get along, but it's impossible to get along w/ this women. She's constantly twisting things around, and he's got all the messages recorded.