Nancy Rivers
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Georgia
My brother has POA, is trustee of my father's trust, and attorney in fact for my father as stated by the trust. Yes he is an attorney - contract disputes are his specialty. My father's caregiver has become nothing short of a malignancy in our family. She and my older sister have developed a personal relationship that seems to be based primarily on bashing me. The caregiver has lied to hospital staff about being my father's daughter (the ER staff was pretty upset about that), lied to neighbors about the same thing and additionally has claimed to be a registered nurse, has lied to my sister via e-mail about doctor visits (mostly about what doctor's have said about my father's diet), claimed expertise in all areas of caregiving yet has no degrees or credentialing in anything, and to keep things short, has lied about me to my siblings just short of defamation. I have talked to experts in the field of geriatric caregiving and been told that the caregiver's behavior towards my father is sexually inappropriate (I didn't even think of that one but she gives my father full body hugs, tells him she loves him, calls him "sweetie"), has turned my father in to her "sugar daddy" (she just gives him an amount to make out checks re her wages with no accounting or invoice - he has dementia and I was also told this is criminal), and has been right smack in the middle of most of the blow ups between my siblings and I because she eavesdropped on conversations I was having and lied to my sister about them or simply put words in my mouth that I did not say. My brother and sister however, are content with the quality of my father's care. I am not. I have contacted a geriatric care specialist that is very concerned about these issues and wants to meet with me and my siblings. However, they are resisting and do not see a need. My sister believes she knows everything there is to know about dementia. My brother does nothing as POA or trustee (the caregiver does all the bill paying and my brother does not even review her store receipts or request an accounting from her for her pay). He did help prepare my father's taxes but since he did not issue a 1099 to the caregiver, my father now owes back taxes and penalties re her social security taxes. We have had to get a third party lawyer involved to untangle the mess. The caregiver was originally paid through an agency but she convinced my brother and sister to pay her directly sometime last fall. No taxes have been paid on her since that point. And perhaps more stunningly, neither my brother nor sister knew how much the caregiver was being paid. She was just giving my father a figure, filling out the checks, and having him sign them. I asked my brother directly if he or his accountant wife would take over bill paying and payroll and he said no.
Does this sound like a breach of fiduciary duty? If so, do I have standing to do anything about it? My brother is not interested in even the opinions of experts re this caregiver. Never mind my opinion. I'm talking about what experts have to say. My father's next door neighbor is nursing supervisor for all the county schools and my brother won't even talk to her and what she has observed.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated and thank you for time reading this long post.
Nancy
My brother has POA, is trustee of my father's trust, and attorney in fact for my father as stated by the trust. Yes he is an attorney - contract disputes are his specialty. My father's caregiver has become nothing short of a malignancy in our family. She and my older sister have developed a personal relationship that seems to be based primarily on bashing me. The caregiver has lied to hospital staff about being my father's daughter (the ER staff was pretty upset about that), lied to neighbors about the same thing and additionally has claimed to be a registered nurse, has lied to my sister via e-mail about doctor visits (mostly about what doctor's have said about my father's diet), claimed expertise in all areas of caregiving yet has no degrees or credentialing in anything, and to keep things short, has lied about me to my siblings just short of defamation. I have talked to experts in the field of geriatric caregiving and been told that the caregiver's behavior towards my father is sexually inappropriate (I didn't even think of that one but she gives my father full body hugs, tells him she loves him, calls him "sweetie"), has turned my father in to her "sugar daddy" (she just gives him an amount to make out checks re her wages with no accounting or invoice - he has dementia and I was also told this is criminal), and has been right smack in the middle of most of the blow ups between my siblings and I because she eavesdropped on conversations I was having and lied to my sister about them or simply put words in my mouth that I did not say. My brother and sister however, are content with the quality of my father's care. I am not. I have contacted a geriatric care specialist that is very concerned about these issues and wants to meet with me and my siblings. However, they are resisting and do not see a need. My sister believes she knows everything there is to know about dementia. My brother does nothing as POA or trustee (the caregiver does all the bill paying and my brother does not even review her store receipts or request an accounting from her for her pay). He did help prepare my father's taxes but since he did not issue a 1099 to the caregiver, my father now owes back taxes and penalties re her social security taxes. We have had to get a third party lawyer involved to untangle the mess. The caregiver was originally paid through an agency but she convinced my brother and sister to pay her directly sometime last fall. No taxes have been paid on her since that point. And perhaps more stunningly, neither my brother nor sister knew how much the caregiver was being paid. She was just giving my father a figure, filling out the checks, and having him sign them. I asked my brother directly if he or his accountant wife would take over bill paying and payroll and he said no.
Does this sound like a breach of fiduciary duty? If so, do I have standing to do anything about it? My brother is not interested in even the opinions of experts re this caregiver. Never mind my opinion. I'm talking about what experts have to say. My father's next door neighbor is nursing supervisor for all the county schools and my brother won't even talk to her and what she has observed.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated and thank you for time reading this long post.
Nancy