A friend of mine, living in California, is currently having an extremely difficult time with life right now and is so depressed that he doesn't care much about anything, including doing any kind of research to help with his current situation, which brings me here as I'm very concerned about him. He is more than willing to "listen" to anyone trying to help him, so I'm hoping I can get some information for him to pursue.
I will try to make this detailed but as short and to the point as possible by explaining with a list instead of drawn-out paragraphs.
Additionally, though not valid in any kind of legal manner, the mother has two other teenage boys from a previous relationship. My friend was a major father figure for them (he even pays for their clothes, school supplies, etc. as well). He even taught the kids how to speak. He had witnessed this mother do everything she could to take everything from their father. Now she is doing the same thing to him.
My friend doesn't currently have a great deal of money to spend on a lawyer, which he desperately needs to help him, and so he is completely at a loss for what to do. So does anyone have any much needed advice/recommendations I can relay to him?
Thank you!
I will try to make this detailed but as short and to the point as possible by explaining with a list instead of drawn-out paragraphs.
- A mother and father were in a relationship for nine years. They never married, and they have two children together (boys ages 3 and 6).
- The mother and father ended up splitting up, and the children have lived alternating weeks with each parent located in different cities. There was no paperwork, custody battle, etc. The mother and father agreed on this themselves, and it has been this way for some time now. The father has been the one to pick up and drop off the children every single week, as the mother is always "too tired" or finds some other excuse.
- Even though the mother and father agreed upon this 50/50 custody arrangement, the father has been the one to pay for everything the kids need, such as school clothes, supplies, haircuts, etc., as well as loads of things they don't "need" such as a plethora of toys, tablets, etc. And of course, all of the "good" clothes he buys somehow end up staying at their mothers while they are sent to the fathers in old, worn out clothes.
- While the children are at the mother's one-bedroom apartment, they spend most of their days watching TikTok videos on their tablets, so the mother doesn't have to deal with them (plus she is stoned or high all of the time). If they are not at the mother's apartment, then they are doing the same thing in the apartment next door, where their aunt and uncle watch them frequently.
- While the children are at the father's house (4 bedrooms), they do things such as play inside with their hundreds of choices of toys or are outside in the backyard playing on their 20-foot trampoline while the father is on the deck the entire time. The children are also taken on frequent trips to the park. They are allowed to use their tablets for a short time every day. (unfortunately, the 6 year old still asks every 30 minutes if he can get on his tablet no matter what they are doing.).
- The mother and father have taken turns each year claiming the kids on their taxes. This year, the father claimed the kids, as it was his year to do so. The mother now claims it was her year and had threatened to take the father to court.
- The mother and father argued about this for a few weeks via text messaging. The father was still picking up and dropping off the children as usual until 7 weeks ago.
- 7 weeks ago, on a day the father was to pick up the children for his week, the mother notified the father via text message that she had "talked to the cops" and she stated that she no longer had to let him pick up the kids and would be taking him to court. Living in California, along with any situation that involves children, it seems any father is automatically guilty until proven innocent. So now, all of a sudden, the father hasn't been able to see his kids or even be allowed to talk to them on the phone for 7 weeks and counting. All because "she said so"...???? No paperwork, no police reports, nothing. Wow!
- A few days ago, the father was served paperwork that the mother filed with the courts. The mother has claimed domestic violence and child abuse and filed for a restraining order where the father cannot be within 100 yards of the mother. Furthermore, the father is not allowed to be within 100 yards of her cat (he has no idea what she is talking about here), and the father is not allowed within 100 yards of the truck that he has stored for the mother for years now that sits "in his own driveway".
- The mother is also now filing for full custody of the children and requesting insane amounts for child support. and has stated that the father beats the children as well as her and is drunk 24/7, among other various lies. (This part really enrages even myself, as I know it to be 100% untrue. I absolutely hate liars, and to use children as a means of getting free money every month is just pathetic, which is exactly what this mother is doing. I cannot even begin to imagine how the father feels. And of course, ultimately, it effects the children the most).
Additionally, though not valid in any kind of legal manner, the mother has two other teenage boys from a previous relationship. My friend was a major father figure for them (he even pays for their clothes, school supplies, etc. as well). He even taught the kids how to speak. He had witnessed this mother do everything she could to take everything from their father. Now she is doing the same thing to him.
My friend doesn't currently have a great deal of money to spend on a lawyer, which he desperately needs to help him, and so he is completely at a loss for what to do. So does anyone have any much needed advice/recommendations I can relay to him?
Thank you!
