Call police or file a contempt charge on Mon?

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Very honestly, you may be better off with a court order that specifies 1st, 3rd, and alternating 5th weekend, or 2nd, 4th, and alternating 5th weekend rather than the alternating weekends that you have.

And, the weekend starts on Friday. I would map it out on a calendar. If it were me, I would chart out an entire year in weekends with pink and blue highlighter so that here would be NO "misunderstandings." Bring that with you to mediation to explain to the mediator how it works to get it written properly.

 

[luvisabattle]

I wanted to file the contempt order this morning and take my chances on having to pay his legal fees if the commsioner decided I should, but after reading all of your posts (and cooling off after a few hours) made the choice to keep trying to get his lawyer to finish the paperwork for mediation.

How does mediation work exactly. Our plan needs to be modified because it's unclear. Does a mediator have the power to modify the plan? If my ex disagrees with the changes, because the changes that need to be made would make it so he couldn't take my weekends anymore, and that benefits him, plus the other areas that need clarification are areas he has used against me - in his favor. I dont see him just readily agreeing to the changes. If we went to court I would get what I am requesting (they are common sense and fair to all requests)

If he doesnt agree in mediation can I then take it to court?

 

[reportermom]

The way mediation works is that all parties have to agree to anything before it gets written up. If his lawyer keeps stalling with the mediation, I would be inclined to file for a clarification in the courts and bring documentation to attach to the request for a hearing that you have been trying to get into mediation and him/his lawyer is dragging his feet about it.

In going to court I would have with me a plain calender that I printed out that was highlighted with how Dad had abused the past court order and sited the typo for doing so. I would also insist that any new deal is typed up before you leave court or the mediator and you take your time and read over it carefully before signing it.

Write out explicitly what you are requesting and take as much time as you need. I had to go to mediation two separate days because I refused to be pressured into an agreement that I had not had sufficient time to consider the ramifications of. Also, with alternating weekends there is not any room for confusion at all.

good luck!

 

[luvisabattle]

Not waiting and thinking things over before I signed will be one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made.

What would have been best would have been for me to beg/borrow/steal - or whatever it would have taken - to find the funds to pay for a lawyer.

I'm still not clear though - if he disagrees to the changes I'm proposing do I have to just take that as the final answer, or can I take it to court?

 

[reportermom]

In mediation, you or he can refuse to agree to a new order. If no new order is agreed to you still have the current order to fall back on.

If at that point, you still need the clarification of the points (which I absolutely think that you do) you can file to be heard in court and bring all of your documentation with you to demonstrate why the clarification is needed. Dad will try to argue that the current order is fine, but I believe that you can prove otherwise, especially with the handy calender you have highlighted with the weekend schedule as it has worked out this past year.

Hope that makes it more clear!

 

[luvisabattle]

Yes it is clear and is my plan of action now.

Thanks to all for your help -