can i ask wife to leave house?

[andy8110]

wrong choice of words.

Please understand my wording was intended to get my information out. It wasnt my way of saying that as a dad i watch my kids. I understand that as a dad i parent my children. The point of the post was to ask if its ok to not be forced into helping her cheat. Basicall me having kids 7 days a week while she comes home 4 to play house. And to clarify other posts i meant my children all stay with me. I never asked her to take them anywhere. My exact thoughts were if she wants this lifetsyle then perhaps she can move out and when she is set up start having kids over to her house. So please don't misinturpt my intentions. Goal was to feel comfortable in my home again.

 

[LdiJ]

Please understand my wording was intended to get my information out. It wasnt my way of saying that as a dad i watch my kids. I understand that as a dad i parent my children. The point of the post was to ask if its ok to not be forced into helping her cheat. Basicall me having kids 7 days a week while she comes home 4 to play house. And to clarify other posts i meant my children all stay with me. I never asked her to take them anywhere. My exact thoughts were if she wants this lifetsyle then perhaps she can move out and when she is set up start having kids over to her house. So please don't misinturpt my intentions. Goal was to feel comfortable in my home again.

This is just a bit of personal advice...however if you can just hang in there and get through this period of time, you will find that you will end up getting over things faster and will have a less hostile co-parenting relationship with your children's mother.

My ex cheated on me, and he did move out, but we worked at the same company, working closely together so I had to deal with seeing him every day. I was horrible for a while, but in the end, I got over things faster than I would have otherwise, and we ended up being pretty good friends as co-parents. Its like getting into a swimming pool. If you just inch in it takes forever to get used to the temperature of the water. However, if you just plunge in, its miserable for a couple of minutes but then its just fine.

You want her to be "out of sight, out of mind" but that really doesn't work.

 

[andy8110]

you are probably right.

My reasoning was to create distance to avoid fighting in front of the children and feel comfortable in my home not on egg shells. Perhaps my motives were partially selfish and i guess i just have to buck up and take it i guess.
Thank you to everyone who took time to respond. Looks like i have a long road to hoe. Pun intended.

 

[Just Blue]

My reasoning was to create distance to avoid fighting in front of the children and feel comfortable in my home not on egg shells. Perhaps my motives were partially selfish and i guess i just have to buck up and take it i guess.
Thank you to everyone who took time to respond. Looks like i have a long road to hoe. Pun intended.

Good one...

Just remember...This will pass. It will. File for divorce and be happy. She just isn't worth you being unhappy.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Please understand my wording was intended to get my information out. It wasnt my way of saying that as a dad i watch my kids. I understand that as a dad i parent my children. The point of the post was to ask if its ok to not be forced into helping her cheat. Basicall me having kids 7 days a week while she comes home 4 to play house. And to clarify other posts i meant my children all stay with me. I never asked her to take them anywhere. My exact thoughts were if she wants this lifetsyle then perhaps she can move out and when she is set up start having kids over to her house. So please don't misinturpt my intentions. Goal was to feel comfortable in my home again.

Good. Someone has to focus on the children.

Not a fan of Anna Karenina or Madame Bovary.

 

[not2cleverRed]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/what-parameters-do-judges-consider-when-ruling-custody-634543.html#post3476814

 

[AlmostThere]

My reasoning was to create distance to avoid fighting in front of the children and feel comfortable in my home not on egg shells. Perhaps my motives were partially selfish and i guess i just have to buck up and take it i guess.
Thank you to everyone who took time to respond. Looks like i have a long road to hoe. Pun intended.

One key rule in being a divorced parent is to look at everything through the filters of the best interest of the children. Another key rule is to never leave your children with somebody (even their mom) who does not want to be caring for them at that time.

You need to readjust how you react to this. This is your opportunity to invest time and energy into developing a stronger relationship with your children. The better that relationship, the easier the transition will be to being the children of divorced parents. Enjoy this time with them. Take them out and do things. Build memories. You can try to make your wife miserable, or you can try to enjoy all the time with your children. Once there is a custody order, you may well wish you had more time with your children.

And strategically, it certainly does not hurt to be the primary care giver going into a divorce.

Almost There

 

[stealth2]

+1, AlmostThere.