Can I get child support stopped since kid is in juvie?

[Yetiman]

My ex and her son are in California. That’s where he was sentenced. I’m in Florida.


I have to pay child support for my ex’s kid. Aside from the child support I’m not involved with either of them now, but I just found out that the kid got in a lot of trouble. I don’t know a lot about the situation except that he got sentenced to 3 years. He’s already been in there for 2 months. He’s 16 right now. Almost 17. So he’ll be over 18 by the time he’s out. So what I’m wondering is if there is a chance I could have the child support payments stopped since he isn’t actually in my ex’s custody anymore. It’s not the end of the world if I have to keep paying another year, but I thought I’d look into it. If it’s possible what would be my first step in getting the ball rolling on this?

 

[Just Blue]

My ex and her son are in California. That’s where he was sentenced. I’m in Florida.


I have to pay child support for my ex’s kid. Aside from the child support I’m not involved with either of them now, but I just found out that the kid got in a lot of trouble. I don’t know a lot about the situation except that he got sentenced to 3 years. He’s already been in there for 2 months. He’s 16 right now. Almost 17. So he’ll be over 18 by the time he’s out. So what I’m wondering is if there is a chance I could have the child support payments stopped since he isn’t actually in my ex’s custody anymore. It’s not the end of the world if I have to keep paying another year, but I thought I’d look into it. If it’s possible what would be my first step in getting the ball rolling on this?

No. You can't stop paying child support for your minor child. It is very likely that the support is now going towards the care of your child while s/he is in detention. IOW, the state is getting it.

 

[Yetiman]

No. You can't stop paying child support for your minor child. It is very likely that the support is now going towards the care of your child while s/he is in detention. IOW, the state is getting it.

I know the money is going directly to my ex because I transfer it to her account. The only thing I could find online on this subject said California stopped charging for juvie in 2018.

 

[adjusterjack]

You'll need to file in court for a reduction or cessation due to change in circumstances.

No guarantees.

I think you would file in whatever court the decree and CS order was in. You can probably find forms and instructions on the court website, and you may be able to do it without a lawyer.

You have nothing to lose by trying.

 

[not2cleverRed]

You have nothing to lose by trying.

That's not necessarily true.

OP should consult a lawyer to determine whether the risks are outweighed by the potential benefits.

 

[stealth2]

That's not necessarily true.

OP should consult a lawyer to determine whether the risks are outweighed by the potential benefits.

An upward mod might not be out of the question, depending on all of the specifics.

 

[adjusterjack]

Do you have a child that does drugs, commits crimes and is otherwise incorrigible?

If the answer is no, then please shut up because you have no clue.

And no, knowing somebody in that position doesn't count.

 

[stealth2]

Do you have a child that does drugs, commits crimes and is otherwise incorrigible?

If the answer is no, then please shut up because you have no clue.

And no, knowing somebody in that position doesn't count.

I think OP's attitude is telling from the first five words of his post. "My ex and her son"...

 

[Taxing Matters]

My ex and her son are in California. That’s where he was sentenced. I’m in Florida.

In what state was the court that issued the child support order, and how long ago was the current order entered? And is the child your child too, either by biology or by adoption?

I have to pay child support for my ex’s kid.

The reason I asked those questions is that is extremely unusual for one to be ordered to pay child support for a child that is not his child. If you are in that unusual position that may make a difference. If this is your child, your post tells me that you don't really care much for that child, and I'd wager that at least part of that is bitterness is because of the ex. If you go to court to try to end child support, you'd do well not come off as bitter and uncaring towards your child.

So what I’m wondering is if there is a chance I could have the child support payments stopped since he isn’t actually in my ex’s custody anymore. It’s not the end of the world if I have to keep paying another year, but I thought I’d look into it. If it’s possible what would be my first step in getting the ball rolling on this?

In order to know if there was a shot at getting the support order terminated I'd need to read the order, know in what state the order was entered, and some more details of what happened. You don't want to spill all that information on a public message board. If your want to pursue this, consult a family law attorney in the state where the court that issued the order is located. But I suggest not going in with high hopes on that. If you are indeed the kids father (which includes being his father by adoption) then you have an obligation to provide support for him. Child support is not money paid for your ex's benefit. It is to provide for the needs of the child. What I think is more likely is that you might be able to get the order changed so that you pay the support to the state instead of the ex. She no longer needs the money to provide support for your kid since she doesn't have physical custody any more. But you still have the responsibility to provide support for your kid (as does your ex). The taxpayers shouldn't have to foot the bill for the things parents are supposed to provide, assuming the parent has the resources to provide for those needs.

I'll point out one other thing. If the kid is almost 17 and if the order says support terminates at age 18, it'll probably be less expensive to just pay out the remaining support. Litigating this in court isn't cheap, and to have a shot at winning you'd need the assistance of a lawyer. This not a good do it yourself kind of project. The legal fees and costs may easily come to several thousand dollars or more depending on how hard the other side opposes you. It'll also take time. This isn't something the court is likely to decide in a month. It may be that a decision is made a number of months down the road, and all the while you are still paying support. The kid may be 18 or close to it by the time the litigation is finished. If you win, that means saving maybe a couple months of support if he's still under 18 at the time, and if the litigation isn't over before he hits age 18 then the whole issue would be moot anyway since the support would have already terminated by the conditions of the current order.

 

[Yetiman]

In what state was the court that issued the child support order, and how long ago was the current order entered? And is the child your child too, either by biology or by adoption?



The reason I asked those questions is that is extremely unusual for one to be ordered to pay child support for a child that is not his child. If you are in that unusual position that may make a difference. If this is your child, your post tells me that you don't really care much for that child, and I'd wager that at least part of that is bitterness is because of the ex. If you go to court to try to end child support, you'd do well not come off as bitter and uncaring towards your child.



In order to know if there was a shot at getting the support order terminated I'd need to read the order, know in what state the order was entered, and some more details of what happened. You don't want to spill all that information on a public message board. If your want to pursue this, consult a family law attorney in the state where the court that issued the order is located. But I suggest not going in with high hopes on that. If you are indeed the kids father (which includes being his father by adoption) then you have an obligation to provide support for him. Child support is not money paid for your ex's benefit. It is to provide for the needs of the child. What I think is more likely is that you might be able to get the order changed so that you pay the support to the state instead of the ex. She no longer needs the money to provide support for your kid since she doesn't have physical custody any more. But you still have the responsibility to provide support for your kid (as does your ex). The taxpayers shouldn't have to foot the bill for the things parents are supposed to provide, assuming the parent has the resources to provide for those needs.

I'll point out one other thing. If the kid is almost 17 and if the order says support terminates at age 18, it'll probably be less expensive to just pay out the remaining support. Litigating this in court isn't cheap, and to have a shot at winning you'd need the assistance of a lawyer. This not a good do it yourself kind of project. The legal fees and costs may easily come to several thousand dollars or more depending on how hard the other side opposes you. It'll also take time. This isn't something the court is likely to decide in a month. It may be that a decision is made a number of months down the road, and all the while you are still paying support. The kid may be 18 or close to it by the time the litigation is finished. If you win, that means saving maybe a couple months of support if he's still under 18 at the time, and if the litigation isn't over before he hits age 18 then the whole issue would be moot anyway since the support would have already terminated by the conditions of the current order.

The child support was set up in California 4-5 years ago. I guess technically adoption. He's not biologically mine, but my name is on his birth certificate. My ex-wife said he was and I didn't find out until years later he wasn't, but I still had to pay child support. Honestly, I would rather the money went to the state then her, so maybe I'll look into that. Out of curiosity could you give me a ball park idea of what it might cost, so I can figure out if it's worth it.

 

[adjusterjack]

could you give me a ball park idea of what it might cost, so I can figure out if it's worth it.

If you hire a lawyer you can count on spending a few thousand.

If you do it yourself the court fees shouldn't too painful.

Fortunately, CA has plenty of self-help information.

california change of child support at DuckDuckGo

Find Your Court Forms - forms_and_rules (ca.gov)

You might try asking your ex to agree to the modification. Then you can file a joint stipulation.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Do you have a child that does drugs, commits crimes and is otherwise incorrigible?

If the answer is no, then please shut up because you have no clue.

And no, knowing somebody in that position doesn't count.

We don't know what the kid is in juvie for.

I'll point out one other thing. If the kid is almost 17 and if the order says support terminates at age 18, it'll probably be less expensive to just pay out the remaining support. Litigating this in court isn't cheap, and to have a shot at winning you'd need the assistance of a lawyer. This not a good do it yourself kind of project. The legal fees and costs may easily come to several thousand dollars or more depending on how hard the other side opposes you. It'll also take time. This isn't something the court is likely to decide in a month. It may be that a decision is made a number of months down the road, and all the while you are still paying support. The kid may be 18 or close to it by the time the litigation is finished. If you win, that means saving maybe a couple months of support if he's still under 18 at the time, and if the litigation isn't over before he hits age 18 then the whole issue would be moot anyway since the support would have already terminated by the conditions of the current order.

Depending on what the current order is, and how mom responds to the modification petition, the legal fees could easily exceed the the cost of just continuing to pay child support.

(The fact that OP is posting here suggests that OP's monthly burden is significantly less than Hunter Biden's.)

The child support was set up in California 4-5 years ago. I guess technically adoption. He's not biologically mine, but my name is on his birth certificate. My ex-wife said he was and I didn't find out until years later he wasn't, but I still had to pay child support. Honestly, I would rather the money went to the state then her, so maybe I'll look into that. Out of curiosity could you give me a ball park idea of what it might cost, so I can figure out if it's worth it.

The child is legally yours. Period. The child is considered a product of the marriage, and you did not disestablish paternity during the allowable window. This is not the child's fault. Maybe the kid is a mess because of your rejection.

To face betrayal with grace is beyond the ability of most of us, but you come across as extremely bitter and this is bad look. If things go to court, the only way for you to keep this bitterness in check is for you retain legal representation and let them do the talking.

 

[Yetiman]

We don't know what the kid is in juvie for.



Depending on what the current order is, and how mom responds to the modification petition, the legal fees could easily exceed the the cost of just continuing to pay child support.

(The fact that OP is posting here suggests that OP's monthly burden is significantly less than Hunter Biden's.)



The child is legally yours. Period. The child is considered a product of the marriage, and you did not disestablish paternity during the allowable window. This is not the child's fault. Maybe the kid is a mess because of your rejection.

To face betrayal with grace is beyond the ability of most of us, but you come across as extremely bitter and this is bad look. If things go to court, the only way for you to keep this bitterness in check is for you retain legal representation and let them do the talking.

Honestly, you seem worked more worked up about this than me. I never argued here that the kid wasn’t legally mine. I know it’s too late to do anything about that.

 

[Zigner]

I think the phrase you are looking for is "my son".

 

[Ohiogal]

The child support was set up in California 4-5 years ago. I guess technically adoption. He's not biologically mine, but my name is on his birth certificate. My ex-wife said he was and I didn't find out until years later he wasn't, but I still had to pay child support. Honestly, I would rather the money went to the state then her, so maybe I'll look into that. Out of curiosity could you give me a ball park idea of what it might cost, so I can figure out if it's worth it.

So he is your child. And it is not adoption. You could have disputed it at the time of divorce. But you didn't. You just don't care. Again, Father of the Year Material.