Can I keep my children away from the "Other Woman"?

[momwithacause]

Once you two are divorced, it's really none of your business if he "plans to" or not.

Whatever, buddy!

Oh, they aren't his kids? So, who provided the sperm?

If you would have read clearly, I mentioned that they were his kids.


And you will have to prove that. Unless you can prove he is unfit, then he will get visitation, joint custody, etc. if he's asking for it.


Who he's meeting, again, is none of your business quite frankly. You two BOTH came to an AGREEMENT to divorce, so he's starting to move on (and before someone reads into what I said, I am not approving of what he's allegedly doing before the divorce is finalized).

So, therefore, who he is meeting is my business in the respect that his actions should be in the best interest of the children.

You really need to watch what you want to request, but it WILL apply to you as well. Plus, if you ask for too much, you can be accused of interferring with his parental rights (& it could come back to bite ya). You do not get to call all the shots.

I wouldn't begin to request anything that I wasn't prepared to be put on me as well.

I appreciate your 2 cents but that is all it is worth to me.

 

[kidoday]

Are you even allowing him to visit with the kids right now?

 

[momwithacause]

Are you even allowing him to visit with the kids right now?

Yes, I am...I am not trying to keep our children from him. I just do not agree with allowing my kids to go to his apartment. If he would have handled his business in a manner that benefited our children, I would not have this opinion at all.
He started a relationship with someone while we were married..I suspected it before I found out because she was calling him 10 times a day. Before I found any of this out for sure, he told me that he was getting an apartment with this female and another male...two days later while he claimed to be looking for an apartment, I found him shacking up with her at one of her friend's apartments...and then to top it all off, the other male never moved in. It is just her and her child and my husband living in an apartment.
I have done a lot of soul searching on this one and I just do not feel like it is in the best interest of our children to see their Dad living with his girlfriend so soon after the separation.

 

[kidoday]

I am not disagreeing on the moral decision of it.

But the honest advice is that it will all depend on your county and the Judge that is sitting behind the bench. In my county the request for overnight visitors is thrown out, while in the county next to me upholds the request.

 

[stealth2]

Yeah, you can pretty well expect the judge to tell you to get a grip.

 

[momwithacause]

I am not disagreeing on the moral decision of it.

But the honest advice is that it will all depend on your county and the Judge that is sitting behind the bench. In my county the request for overnight visitors is thrown out, while in the county next to me upholds the request.

Thank you for your help. My husband has made so many shady decisions in the past and I feel like I finally can have a say in one that counts the most.

 

[momwithacause]

Yeah, you can pretty well expect the judge to tell you to get a grip.

What about the states where cohabitating is against the law?

 

[kidoday]

Michigan and NC, and I can't remember the other one are the only states that don't allow cohabitation.

They are archaic laws that are rarely upheld in court.

Edit, Fla is also a non cohabitation state. However, NC is the last to actualy order it.

 

[momwithacause]

Michigan and NC, and I can't remember the other one are the only states that don't allow cohabitation.

They are archaic laws that are rarely upheld in court.

Edit, Fla is also a non cohabitation state. However, NC is the last to actualy order it.

Thank you for your advice. I don't want to hurt my children in the long run...I just want to consider all of my options.

 

[kidoday]

Dang there are 7 states that acknowledge cohabitation laws.

The almost 1 million unmarried heterosexual Americans who live together in Florida, Michigan, Mississippi, North Carolina, North Dakota, Virginia and West Virginia are violating state laws against "lewd and lascivious" cohabitation.
Such laws are remnants of an earlier era; North Carolina's is vintage 1805. And although they remain on the books, anti-cohabitation laws are rarely enforced.

Google cohabitation laws.

 

[gatorguy3]

If someone were going to try and bring this up in court, the cohabitation part, then I would recommend having case law to support the argument. I would look for cases where judges ruled against cohabitation when a child was involved.

 

[CJane]

Thank you for your help. My husband has made so many shady decisions in the past and I feel like I finally can have a say in one that counts the most.

Don't be too surprised if the judge asks why you remained married to someone who you now feel can't be trusted to care for your children.

My ex tried to gain full custody of the kids during the divorce - when I'd been a stay-at-home mom for 5 years. He was claiming I couldn't be trusted to make healthy decisions for the children, and that I neglected them, etc - all while leaving me at home with them all day every day, often with no money, no transportation in case of emergencies, etc. Who do you think looked like an a$$ in court?

Trying to enforce morality when there is no case law to support it, and no evidence of abuse or neglect is probably going to come back to haunt you. I'd recommend you focus on what really IS important to your children. Getting through this divorce as unscathed as possible, encouraging a relationship with their father, and biting your tongue about all those annoying things that he does to piss you off.