Can I limit 50/50 extracurricular expenses

[stealth2]

I DO think it unreasonable for children to believe they are entitled to whatever activity they want, when ever they want it. I know a number of parents who have a "two activities at a time" limit, AND, for new activities, they often buy used equipment, until they know their kid will stick with it. Because there often is STILL band, school stuff, maybe religious school stuff, responsibilities at home, and schoolwork on top of the two activities.

Did I say that it's reasonable for them to have that sense of entitlement, OR that Dad should cater to it? I don't think I did. But, I don't think it's UNreasonable for a kid to want to try activities that all of his/her friends are participating in when they move to an area drastically different from that which they came from. Is it really fair to tell a kid "I don't care if everyone at school waterskis - YOU come from Ohio and people in OHIO don't waterski!" That's just silly. Doesn't mean that Dad should say "Sure! Waterski! Jetski! GO Deep Sea Fishing! AND Sailing! All in the same day and I will buy you everything you could ever need for all of the above! Even a boat!" Equally silly. What I'm saying is that parents should at least give some consideration to these types of issues. And discuss what will have to go if a new activity is added.

 

[stealth2]

And new cleats every 6 weeks???! Thats just crazy even IF they're hard on them and even IF their feet grow. The ONLY activity I know of that requires new footwear in that time frame is ballet. And that ONLY applies if one is dancing full time at an advanced level. (I myself used to require a new pair of pointes every 4-5wks and that was even buying them 2 pairs at a time)

Oh, well... there we are! RREvak has spoken! The only activity that requires new footwear so frequently is advanced pointe work! Now we ALL know!

Seriously, people. No one ever said that kids should be allowed to participate in every single thing. As misto said - there IS a middle ground, which is what I was trying to point out in my earlier post. TALK to your kids, and see what it is they're interested in! No, they don't have to do fifty gazillion things at a time, but how do they ever discover what their interests and passions may be (and what they may be really good at) if they are always told no?

Heck... there have been plenty of times when I've told my two that I can only afford (be it financially, in terms of time, or whatever) for them to do either X or Y - not both. And so they'd have to pick.

But it really is NOT unreasonable for kids to want to try an activity that friends enjoy. And who knows - it may be something they excel at! My son had a friend who cajoled his parents to let him join Scouts - only because my son was in Scouts. My kiddo lost interest. But his friend? Just became an Eagle Scout. It would have been a shame if his parents had refused to allow it (and I can tell you that they were VERY active in the troop) "just because" his friend was doing it.

 

[Ohiogal]

There is one thing that I would like the OP to think about and be cautious about in this whole situation. It appears that you currently pay child support of 377.00 per child (unusual order) and was based on your previous shared parenting situation.

That is NOT an unusual order. That is the NORMAL WORDING OF A CHILD SUPPORT ORDER IN OHIO. That language is mandatory in child support orders in Ohio.

It doesn't appear that child support changed when the timeshare changed. Mom could take you back to court at any time for a child support modification, and likely will if she is struggling and has to go back to court anyway.

Are you certain that the time share was calculated at the time of that order? Has mom's income increased? Has dad's income involuntarily decreased? Were they both imputed at minimum wage? Has health care increased? Not all child support orders actually deviate from the guidelines to take into consideration the time share. Was daycare calculated into the prior order and has it increased or decreased?

So, you might want to google an online child support calculator for Ohio and run some numbers to try to get a picture of where you might be with child support.

Child support calculators do NOT take into consideration any deviations that have been granted.

If there would be any significant increase, you might want to be clever and informally agree to pay for half the transportation costs for visitation, to ensure that you get to see your children, rather than take mom to court for contempt. If what you believe is true, that might stop a lot of mom's shenanigans, and if it doesn't, you still have the option of filing for contempt.

He should give in to extortion? Because quite frankly that is what you are stating -- he should PAY mom to see his children. A court would NOT be happy with that.