Can I take my daughter with me ?

[geniusmagic]

Child custody while living together

Can someone advice me if a child custody order can be obtained while the married couple still lives together ?
I would like to separate but do not want to leave without a child custody order with joint custody established. How long is such a custody order valid for and what is the effect of reconciliation on such an order ?

 

[LdiJ]

Can someone advice me if a child custody order can be obtained while the married couple still lives together ?
I would like to separate but do not want to leave without a child custody order with joint custody established. How long is such a custody order valid for and what is the effect of reconciliation on such an order ?

No, that really isn't the way it works...you have no basis for court ordered custody unless you are actually separated or have filed for divorce.

 

[stealth2]

I understand my parents are not a guarantee as a back up but they do have the ability to stay 6 months out of 12. We do not have any other family in NJ.

And what happens during the other six months?

 

[geniusmagic]

agreement or order

No, that really isn't the way it works...you have no basis for court ordered custody unless you are actually separated or have filed for divorce.

Understood, but can I ask her to enter into a written agreement on custody before I separate - maybe send her a proposal ?
I do not want to leave the house without some sort or custody agreement because she may deny me access to my daughter. If she agrees to sign into a custody agreement , I can then separate per the terms of the agreement. If she does not agree, I then go to the court and leave the house.

Does it sound reasonable ?

Also, I understand that it only works for separated or divorced couples but in theory does the court order become null and void if the couple reconciles ? or does it stay in effect unless one ( or both ) parents approach the court to terminate or change it ?

 

[geniusmagic]

And what happens during the other six months?

I have a job that allows flexi hours and can be done remotely on most days i.e. from home . In fact I have been staying at home for the past month while still looking after my daughter to enable my wife to go to work . She only has a part time contract job which may end any time but while it lasts, I am the one looking after the daughter.

 

[stealth2]

Understood, but can I ask her to enter into a written agreement on custody before I separate - maybe send her a proposal ?
I do not want to leave the house without some sort or custody agreement because she may deny me access to my daughter. If she agrees to sign into a custody agreement , I can then separate per the terms of the agreement. If she does not agree, I then go to the court and leave the house.

Does it sound reasonable ?

Also, I understand that it only works for separated or divorced couples but in theory does the court order become null and void if the couple reconciles ? or does it stay in effect unless one ( or both ) parents approach the court to terminate or change it ?

You can do as you like, but understand - unless it is signed by a judge? It's unenforceable.

 

[stealth2]

I have a job that allows flexi hours and can be done remotely on most days i.e. from home . In fact I have been staying at home for the past month while still looking after my daughter to enable my wife to go to work . She only has a part time contract job which may end any time but while it lasts, I am the one looking after the daughter.

So your parents are irrelevant. Don't muddy the water.